You know that pansy ass wish fullfillment movie? That movie featuring shenanigans with the most beta guy imaginable? That movie which makes you cringe so hard that your balls go sag a lil' lower? What was it called? The 40 year old Virgin?

Well, I'm the mutherfunkin' 29 year old virgin; I'm nearly 3/4 of the way there.


From what I can tell, I'm socially awkward, chubby, easily angered, proud to a fault and worst of all, I'm an AZN livin' in a country full of azn girls that seemto only get wet for white boys. But on the plus side, I got an decent education and am not currently in debt. More minuses than pluses, but eh, could be worse rite'?

My brain tells me I wanna' get surrounded by a well connected social circle of classy, intelligent people (espcially women). My penis tells me I wanna' drown in pussy. Both objectives can be achieved simultaniously, if what I've read about pick up is true.

Asides from any advice provided, I'm gonna' do the newbie challenge so hard that its gonna bleed - and I'm gonna AAR on it.


Don't go easy on me. Call me out if I'm being a lil' bitch.
Cuz the heat of the crucible can produce pure gold. Amirite or what?