Hi All,

Slightly long post but I hope you find it interesting.

I'm from the UK, I'm in my mid20s and have had a good number of girlfriends and lays but I recently realized that despite all this, I'm still an AFC.

It was when a woman I had been pining over for almost a year (but got stuck firmly in the friend zone) decided to tell me about her new lover being the best she ever had and how she didn't know she wanted to shag him untill they were shagging, that's when I said 'f^^^ this!' and went on the internet and stumbled across 'the community'.

I've been an AFC all my adult life because I recently realized that ALL my ex girlfriends CHOSE ME. They all approached, propositioned or essentially gamed me. Hence they all eventually dumped me; because I gave them all the power from the outset. I have never actually gone for a girl that I really wanted.

As I've been reading the PUA newsletters and listening to the podcasts, I have become more and more convinced as to how important this all is.

The fact is, when it comes to strong sexual attraction, women are different from men in one major way. For women, GOOD LOOKS ARE SECONDARY. Men like good looking women (or at least women that make themselves look good), while women like dominant and confident men (or at least men that make themselves look confident and dominant!).

However, women have numerous ways of learning how to look good and hence attract men. Ranging from Gok Wan, to all the adverts on TV for makeup, clothes, hair products, shoes etc. However, men have no way of learning how to appear confident and dominant. Society convinces us that all real men are potential rapists, wife beaters or perverts. That's why TV and films celebrate losers like Ross from friends and the men in crappy RomComs etc.

Three fictional characters that I admire as 'real men' are: 1) Tyler Durden from fight club 2) Tony Soprano and 3) Juan Antonio from 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' (the opening line "What colour are your eyes?" is a classic!). You may have noticed that two of those characters are violent. Now there's no way I'd ever be a violent or rude person. Its not remotely in my nature. But male sexuality is constantly portrayed or perceived as threatening; even though in modern society, a man does not have to violent to be alpha. Hence nice guys like me become overly polite and accommodating and totally lose track of what it is to be a man.

Anyway, that's my rant over! I've been working on my inner game for sometime now, trying to destroy my crippling AA and I've stopped subconsciously apologizing for my existence and for being a man. I've already noticed dramatic changes in my self confidence but I've still been slow in approaching. I'm quite a good conversationalist when I'm relaxed so my plan is to just go out and do it!!

My main hangup is 'what if she has a boyfriend?'. All the gurus say, just keep chatting as if you didn't have an agenda in the first place but the truth is, when she gives you that look, or better yet, when her boyfriend actually turns up and they both give you a look that says mate, you've embarrassed yourself enough now just p*** off!, I feel like you have to actually be the boss of the new jersey crime family to be alpha enough to remain calm and confident!!!

Anyway, there are lots of HOT single girls out there so its up to me to man up and face my fears.

Thanks for reading!

O

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No woman wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man is dead or not.