Many successful "victims", yet this one is stumping me!



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 8:22 am 
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Please read my introduction, especially my disclaimer:
introduce-yourself/newbie-the-site-inte ... 03385.html

---

As mentioned in my introduction, I have come to have relations, both serious and casual, with many attractive women over the past decade, although I myself am not facially attractive to say the least. Normally, besides my severe impatience, I have not had too much of a resistance or difficult time with courting a pretty woman. However, one stands today that is utterly confusing me. I will keep the story brief.

A few years back I resided with my sister in shared accommodation. My sister is overly pretty and within the very popular circles of society. She would often bring her equally as "cool" girlfriends around to the house. One in particular stood out to me. Her presence hit me with the thunderbolt. I was dazzled since the very first time I saw her. Yet, I was in a relationship and loyal to the woman I was seeing.

Fast forward a few years and I am single. I recently caught up with the girl mentioned. Over the course of an hour or so I listened to how she is in a relationship with a guy who verbally and mentally abuses her and yet threatens her with suicide and his weeping whenever she has tried to leave. She did mention that when the relationship is going well, it is actually going really well. When the relationship is going bad, it is going really bad.

Jokes were made between us about how I was attracted to her since day one and she told me I should have taken her from the day I first saw her because she would have said yes. Ok...

It has only been one week since catching up with her after a few years and we have kissed passionately several times. I have performed sexual favours upon her. She has mislead her boyfriend as to where she has been when she has been with me. We have not had sex as of yet.

Here is where my confusion comes into play. In less than a week I have got her to a point where she openly confesses to me that her whole body aches to have me but she feels morally bad to go ahead with it; given the boyfriend and all. Yet, each day she visits and leaves, her ache grows stronger and stronger. I have succeeded right? Wrong. As each new day comes about, she comes across uninterested. She does not contact me until I contact her, and is not quick to want to see me. Yet, when she finally does, again, it is like her soul alights with a passionate fire.

Basically, she leaves my house feeling alive and aching for me, yet wakes up the following day seemingly completely uninterested.

I am aware of the power of sending mixed signals, in that I have confessed my attraction and desire to have her and now I should grow cold to her and create an even stronger desire in her to pursue me. However, her seeming uninterested in me as each new day begins has me concerned and somewhat unsure of how to proceed.

PUA loyalists, lend me your advice.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 4:37 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Walk away

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 12:29 am 
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Quote:


PUA loyalists, lend me your advice.

Game other women, and let her see you with them.

She should be doing the chasing.

By the way, referring to past lovers/hook-ups as "victims" is incredibly creepy.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:23 am 
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Quote:
Walk away
Why? I am not denying that this could be the only answer, but what is your reasoning?

UPDATE:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours. We get along like a house on fire. We crack up with jokes. We wrestle. She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.

I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

She went home and from today, for the next 2-3 days, I will play being uninterested and cold, without being mean or completely gone.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 3:41 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Walk away
Why? I am not denying that this could be the only answer, but what is your reasoning?

UPDATE:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours. We get along like a house on fire. We crack up with jokes. We wrestle. She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.

I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

She went home and from today, for the next 2-3 days, I will play being uninterested and cold, without being mean or completely gone.
You're in hero mode. You're going after her and trying to save her from the mentally/verbally abusive boyfriend. She knows you like her and is enjoying the boyfriend experience without you getting anything in return. Walk away.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:56 pm 
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I'm probably not the best guy giving advice seeing as I have a huge onitis problem myself right now.

But I generally think if you really think there is something special going on I wouldnt give up. That's just me not going from girl to girl and trying to make it work.

BUT talk to other girls and dont fixate on this one girl.

What do you think the biggest problem is or the point where you would say this is it?

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:05 pm 
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Quote:
UPDATE:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours. We get along like a house on fire. We crack up with jokes. We wrestle. She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.

I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

Are you 15?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:18 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
UPDATE:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours. We get along like a house on fire. We crack up with jokes. We wrestle. She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.

I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

Are you 15?
No. So educate me, my friend.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:39 am 
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Quote:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours.
....and no escalation of any kind. you may have just friend-zoned yourself.
Quote:
We get along like a house on fire.
A "house on fire" would involve at least kissing. So more like a "wet paper towel".

Quote:
We crack up with jokes.
Is that your goal?

come on, lol. Maybe later. But right now?
Quote:
We wrestle.
Lame. A dominant male escalates.
Quote:
She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.
Huh?

Why in the hell would you not make a move here?



Quote:
I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

Jesus christ, lol. A GIRL IS SPOONING YOU. Act like a man, and kiss her, and touch her.

How could you not understand what it is she wants when her ass is grinding against you? So instead you ask a dopey, negative meta-question?

*this shit makes me want to quit the forum, lol*


Quote:
She went home and from today, for the next 2-3 days, I will play being uninterested and cold
Are you sure you didn't play that the other night?

Wait a couple days and invite her over again, and fix all this nonsense by acting like you have a dick.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:38 am 
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Quote:
I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.
What she wants is to make it your job to take her away from her boyfriend.
If you're serious about this girl, then take her, if not, back off - she wouldn't feel good to cheat on her boyfriend (though that still might happen and later she would feel bad about it).
Either take her for yourself or stop it all and leave her to him.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:23 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
She went to her "girlfriend's" house last night but instead came to mine for a few hours.
....and no escalation of any kind. you may have just friend-zoned yourself.
Quote:
We get along like a house on fire.
A "house on fire" would involve at least kissing. So more like a "wet paper towel".

Quote:
We crack up with jokes.
Is that your goal?

come on, lol. Maybe later. But right now?
Quote:
We wrestle.
Lame. A dominant male escalates.
Quote:
She opens up to me about her life and fantasies. Things she doesn't come close to doing with the boyfriend. I spooned her as we watched movies.
Huh?

Why in the hell would you not make a move here?



Quote:
I bluntly asked her, what did she want from me? She doesn't know.

Jesus christ, lol. A GIRL IS SPOONING YOU. Act like a man, and kiss her, and touch her.

How could you not understand what it is she wants when her ass is grinding against you? So instead you ask a dopey, negative meta-question?

*this shit makes me want to quit the forum, lol*


Quote:
She went home and from today, for the next 2-3 days, I will play being uninterested and cold
Are you sure you didn't play that the other night?

Wait a couple days and invite her over again, and fix all this nonsense by acting like you have a dick.
Dude, I can't help but think that while you seem like you may have, and I actually feel you would have, a lot of useful insight and experience on the matter, that you belittle my question. Your SIG says you are a "coach" yet I can't say I am feeling the whole coaching side, more so a "I am better at you and I am telling you why you suck" approach. I have actually taken your advice on board, but cannot say I am on board with your delivery of said information.

That being said, I appreciate your insight and, again, the meaning behind your points actually are resonating with me. So, let me seek your advice further.

This girl, bro, is something different - for me, anyway. Why? Because I actually care if I win or lose here. Most of girls, the ones that are "out of my league" and yet I have been able to seduce - I always went in with confidence, but I was always understood that failure was possible; it took the emotions out of it.

This girl, I do not want to fail and I don't think I am prepared to fail. Bro, straight up, she talks about a fantasy of being forced to have sex. Yet, when I mauled her the other night; ripping at her clothes; she was breathing heaving; she stopped me; really, actually, stopped me. Not a play stop, but wanted me to stop. Again, this comes down to her having a boyfriend - one who doesn't maul her or fulfil this fantasy but who she feels bad about doing things behind his back. Iggz, above, said it right; she feels bad yet continues to see me pretty much at my demand.

I don't ask. I tell her to come now. She makes lies and twists the truth to leave the house and come and see me. Yet, she doesn't want to have sex with me...yet, apparently.

Your advice seems to encourage me launching at her - forgive me if I am wrong. Yet, as I have done this and she has stopped me, really stopped me, I feel this would stop her coming back. So, I feel that this is going to be a slow process.

I have steps I follow; a series of processes to seduce women. Maybe you do as well, or maybe you don't. I am not a facially attractive guy so I am required to use these steps and processes to win over a beautiful woman. Some of them can take a while, again, for me.

I want this girl. Yet, I want her to want me without a thought of anyone else. Maybe I am pushing it because it literally has been a week, maybe a tad bit more. That's it. I might have several months ahead of me yet.

Do I want to sleep with this woman and claim victory? Not really, no. I want this woman to be mine and, if she really won't leave her boyfriend, I want to be her best friend and -judge me all you want- her affair.

Don't take what I said personally. It appears to me you might actually have a wealth of information and experience, I am just trying to see around your delivery of it.

Thanks heaps brother.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:14 am 
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Quote:
Dude, I can't help but think that while you seem like you may have, and I actually feel you would have, a lot of useful insight and experience on the matter, that you belittle my question. Your SIG says you are a "coach" yet I can't say I am feeling the whole coaching side, more so a "I am better at you and I am telling you why you suck" approach. I have actually taken your advice on board, but cannot say I am on board with your delivery of said information.
It also looks like there is a small language barrier, which is cool.

In big cities in the U.S., when you become successful, you learn to be very direct and honest with people and not waste their time. This is know as "shocking honesty" and "not wasting time". It is an excellent attitude for game as well as business.

My direct approach is not meant to belittle or insult, it is an honest feedback of what is in my mind as I read your mistakes. So please do not take offense, I am respecting your time, and mine with direct, brutal feedback.


Quote:
This girl, bro, is something different - for me, anyway. Why? Because I actually care if I win or lose here. Most of girls, the ones that are "out of my league" and yet I have been able to seduce - I always went in with confidence, but I was always understood that failure was possible; it took the emotions out of it.

This is called "Oneitis".

Quote:
This girl, I do not want to fail and I don't think I am prepared to fail. Bro, straight up, she talks about a fantasy of being forced to have sex. Yet, when I mauled her the other night; ripping at her clothes; she was breathing heaving; she stopped me; really, actually, stopped me. Not a play stop, but wanted me to stop. Again, this comes down to her having a boyfriend - one who doesn't maul her or fulfil this fantasy but who she feels bad about doing things behind his back. Iggz, above, said it right; she feels bad yet continues to see me pretty much at my demand.
Alright, well, set up another meet.

Quote:
I don't ask. I tell her to come now. She makes lies and twists the truth to leave the house and come and see me. Yet, she doesn't want to have sex with me...yet, apparently.
Sounds like a waste of time for you, IMHO. Game other women, or show her you're going on dates.


Quote:
I have steps I follow; a series of processes to seduce women. Maybe you do as well, or maybe you don't. I am not a facially attractive guy so I am required to use these steps and processes to win over a beautiful woman. Some of them can take a while, again, for me.
Makes sense. It is true, that the less classically "handsome" men need more early game.

Quote:
I want this girl. Yet, I want her to want me without a thought of anyone else.
That comes with time, once you are in a relationship most of the time.

Quote:
Do I want to sleep with this woman and claim victory? Not really, no. I want this woman to be mine
You make women "yours" (if women can be owned, which they never truly can), you do so by being really, really good in bed and staying emotionally-centered.
Quote:
and, if she really won't leave her boyfriend, I want to be her best friend and -judge me all you want- her affair.
That's a very weak frame.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:02 pm 
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Best advice your gonna get:

Go meet other women.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:10 am 
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You're going to catch a rape charge after she tells her inattentive boyfriend what you forced her to do. Just to make him jealous.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 4:57 am 
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Arch Stanton.

Okay. I tried to maul her. Failed.

I am a Self-Defence Instructor and Personal Trainer. She came over today for lunch and such. I started to teach her some self-defence moves, including things we teach in rape prevention. Serious stuff turned to jokes and wrestling and I pinned her, started to feel her up, hands ripping at her clothes. She just stared at me and let me go, it was on and...then stopped me abruptly. I asked her is this a play stop or is she actually asking me to stop? She said actually asking.

Yet, most nights she is sending me pics of her "goodies" and tells me how we are going to end up f#cking each other; tells me she wants it so bad.

So why the fk when I start, she stops me? I am getting mindfked here.


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