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Get a life - but how??
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Author:  HellRaiser [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:06 am ]
Post subject:  Get a life - but how??
Get a life - I have to agree, I don't have much of a life I think.

Im computer geek ... or geekish. Don't have a tv SPAM, and I don't care that much, but then I im easily left out from conversation about show, celebs, news and stuff.
I go out every weekends, get drunk, talk to random ppl and try to have some fun.
I try to exercise now and then, but im not that into it.
Rest of the time, i sit in front of my computer and surf the internet.
My job is about programming...

All in all, I don't get much action, and I don't get much input. So I end up with having little or nothing to talk about.

Then .. get a life... get a hobby, do something fun.
But how??

Closest idea I have now is to buy an guitar and try learn to play. Except from this im a bit qlueless about what to try...

pls help?
Author:  Vic Vega [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
hey man, its all about motivation, go for the quitar and if you get it, make sure you practice it night and day.

as far as conversations with shows, news, celebs, or whatever just look it up on the internet, im sure you can find something there.

at least your trying to have fun on the weekends, talkin to random ppl or whatever. all i can say is just keep practicing, work hard at this, cause im in the same boat and thats what im doing.

hope this can help
big 'O'
Author:  prodigium [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
guitar wont help, i play but unless you in a band how are you going to use guitar to your advantage?

plus if you only want to learn t play for the chicks don't even bother because there are a lot more efficient ways of doing it, to get good at guitar you have to dedicate yourself for hours a day. trust me you will lose interest fast if your not doing it for yourself.

well i dont know how old you are so its hard to suggest things for you to do.

you go to the clubs and you go every weekend so you must be comfortable there, just start talking to some girls at the clubs, as far as not having anything to talk about well thats bullshit, all it talks is practice and a bit of persistence. every meet someone that just never shuts up and can talk for ever without stop.

don't BE like them people will find you irritating but take some ideas from them. just let the conversation flow don't think about what your going to say just say! talk about something funny that happened to you, talk about something you noticed. anything
Author:  Hengman [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Get a life - but how??
Quote:
Get a life - I have to agree, I don't have much of a life I think.

Im computer geek ... or geekish. Don't have a tv SPAM, and I don't care that much, but then I im easily left out from conversation about show, celebs, news and stuff.
I go out every weekends, get drunk, talk to random ppl and try to have some fun.
I try to exercise now and then, but im not that into it.
Rest of the time, i sit in front of my computer and surf the internet.
My job is about programming...

All in all, I don't get much action, and I don't get much input. So I end up with having little or nothing to talk about.

Then .. get a life... get a hobby, do something fun.
But how??

Closest idea I have now is to buy an guitar and try learn to play. Except from this im a bit qlueless about what to try...

pls help?
Well, I give props to the losers. Honestly, I've seen them get the hottest chicks, but they still go home to play games. That's mad respect.

You'll end up pimpin' so many girls when you go out. Watch. Plus, you're still banging on the latest technology, which is a good thing.

I dunno. A couple of people I chill with a lot of losers and they're cool.
Author:  HellRaiser [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Im 30.

Guitar thingy - Thats just something I want to try learn for myself. Got nothing to do with showing of or whatever. Just an example of the ... only hobby I could try invent for now...

My point beeing ... playing guitar is just for fun for me ... but I will never get any conversation of of it since it becomes a subject only for others that play guitar ...

same with computer ... alot of fun happens at work, but most girls know absolutely nothing about java or bugs or whatever ... so no conversation from there either...

I would like to do stuff, im not sure what SPAM. But it would be nice that the time I invest in a hobby or "get a life" project would be usefull in terms of using it in conversations ... hope you understand...

I had this weird idea today ... with my friend ... "maybe we should go to the art gallery". No one of us is interested in arts. But I was thinkin ... we 2, dressed with Darktrone/Mayhem/emperor shirts, black/evil etc - you know really totaly misplaced beeings ... it kinda would be fun just to see the reaction from others "classy" ppl with standard clothes, when 2 total weirdoes go in and just look at art ... well its an half idea ...hehe .. And if we got some fun of of it ... we would have something to talk about right??
Author:  Ka [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 6:52 am ]
Post subject: 
First off lose the idea that your a loser, in any degree! You are the prize, you have alot to offer, and a girl would be lucky...fortunate even to be seen in your presence let alone hear the words that come out of your mouth.

You are intresting, and while you may not care about social things like pop culture (i certainly dunt give a crap about brittney spears) if you wana be in a convo with some people you may have to at least read up a lil.

I like you was huge on video games (WoW addict). I was a nerd who did that and used to delve into mathamatics and physics for fun...didnt care how i looked, i used to tell people "If you dont like what im wearing, buy me new clothes ill wear them."

Then i read The Game. I changed how i look, my opinion of myself, and my veiws on pop culture.

Before i go out or when i have a spare min ill check out things like MSN, Cosmo magazines site, girly magazine sites, celeb gossip sites. These places offer alot of material to bring up and get people intrested.

ex: i brought up with my friends last night that the spice girls got back together, but you can only get the cd at Vic Secret....i started a convo about how bad it will be when the spice girls are trying at like 50 years old to be hot, and also about how i used to go shopping with an ex at Vic Secrets. One story showed humor, the other showed social proof (had a ex that i would shop for under things with, and that i was comfortable being there).

So my opinion is that you have to really wana change, i quit WoW, changed my apearence, and really want to be a different person (my moto "Be the same, only better.".

hope this helps GL HF
Author:  HellRaiser [ Sun Oct 21, 2007 9:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Thx dude.

Once a wow adict myself, was BWL guild officer with my healing druid and out-healed everybody hehe. Now I almost never play it anymore.

Now I got some extra time I'm not sure where to invest. But im total qlueless on what to do.
Have 2 friends, and they have the same type uninteresting life and no other friends... they got tv tho...

I was thinking of trying to start build a network sort of. Kinda go out, see if i can find ppl to put on facebook ... chat around ... and maybe use that for some purpose (parties??). Not sure how I should do that.
Feel like a gay man when asking for numbers from other men, and I usually don't get a reply either.
Author:  Ziggy [ Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
This one hits close to home. Last year I had zero social life. It was really depressing. I made a vow to myself that I would change that and I did. I joined improv classes, forced myself to be social, made friends at work that I previously didn't talk to for nearly a year.

The key is to find common ground with people -- whether it's an activity or an interest. Talk and talk, get to know each other and eventually express interest in getting together to actually do that activity or view/discuss/whatever that interest. Things like poker, movies, sports -- popular things that bring people together. Join a club of some sort. Meet lots of people, see what connections you can make, keep seeing them, and after a lot of pushing yourself to get out there -- you'll have a social life. Hope that helps!
Author:  Valence [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
How to get a life? That is a pretty heavy question. The guitar will help with day2/3 type stuff but it is only one segment.

Join a team of some sort.
Flag football, billards, bowling, hell, in my town, we even have a kickball league.

I personally play pool. It is cheap (except for last night when the shots were flowing) and it is a good activity.

These types of leagues are really easy to join and can lead to many other activities.
Author:  JackOfNoTrades [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude anyone can complain about not having this that and the other. You gotta get out there and grab the bull by the horns. I just started playing rugby with my uni team, and I was bricking it (of course not showing it on the outside) at the end made a few new mates and it's a great for exercise.
I totally agree with Valence, join a sports team. I think a group sport is better if you want to up your social life as there is great comradery. Plus it boosts your confidence sky high!
I tried the whole guitar thing As O said you REALLY have to commit. I'm still trying to get Master of Puppets done after one year.
Like Ka pointed out the current affairs thing, surely you can buy a paper! I don't know if you have it where you are but over here (UK) The Sunday Times is perfect, it has all pop culture stuff and a fashion supplementry which you can add to your aresnal of negs!
Happy hunting!
Author:  jaydee [ Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi HellRaiser,

you can not imagine how close of yours my situation is. For the last 7 years, i have been a computer consultant in software development. Like you, i work and program a lot. Due to my "passion" and my business, i started ignoring my friends and completly lost any social life.

I recently decided to change that. I quit work (yeah, its radical but i felt like it :) ) and begun a few social activities such as kung fu and swing. I guess having various activities is the best way to meet people. dont forget to talk with them and build rapport. :)

hope this helps...
Author:  HellRaiser [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:14 am ]
Post subject: 
omg ..
just got home from town(party).

Im not sure if im in a position to complain, but now and then it gets to me.

It is so nice to read the reply from other ppl, that really cheer me up - I have to say thx to you all.

When you lost a girl that .. you belived in, its hard. Im so f.. sensitive. Why do I have these stupid emotions?
Well, I get over it. Have before, so I will again.
Why is it so, when you lost this "special" girl... you kinda feel .. "I never get anything like it?" Hate it. Weirdest thing .. she wasn't THAT special either. Have loads of negative stuff about here ... still she is this ... wanted one if you kinda understand.

Anyway. (bit drunk, sry). Its really nice to get these replies, and you give such nice advice. I'll try follow up on that. You kinda state the obvious ... and I should have known this, but I get blind somethimes. Then its nice to get a kick in the but.

Last two weekends, I have managed to get some contacts, phone numbers, girls/guys, that I want to try put in my network to have as friends. I'm not good at making friends, but I try. Hopefully it leads to something nice in the end.

Last relationship got bad, but I've just started to get into this PUA stuff. Not sure if it ever will work for me, but I have learned alot in this short time, and discovered ALOT of bad sides of me that I need to work on. I now know why it went that bad. Read venusian arts, up side down, thats how I threated the girl .. no wonder why she left me. To bad it was with a girl I really wanted.

Im in the beginning of the learning process - 10y late at least - I have given myself a goal. I will try get better at this social stuff. These forums are stuffed with nice stuff. To bad the day is so short.

OK, bed time. Thx ppl. Really ... thx. night.
Author:  96Firebird [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Did you meet any new people at this party? I was invited to a Halloween party tonight, but didn't go because I didn't have a costume yet and didn't feel like driving to the house in the city. But whenever I go to a party that I don't host, I make it almost a goal to meet new people that could lead me to more parties. Once you get a few going, it grows almost exponentially.
Author:  Ka [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Yea Hell all you have to do is really want to change and be more social.

Just read up on this stuff, watch some videos (like the series on VH1). Your a smart guy there is no reason you cant do this.

Then its all practice like anything else, go out there and fail...soon you'll realize its not so bad and you cant fail (or win) without trying.

Just go out meet people and control your social life. I am at the point were i dont like my old friends very much, and even though they are starting to notice that i am changing idk if i want to associate with them. So i go out here and there alone and just try and meet new people.

Honestly i only finished The Game like 2-3 weeks ago and already just about every person i know has commented and/or really noticed a change in me, and not just my clothes. I feel better and thats what its all about.

GL
Author:  Bruce [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 6:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm in the same boat but a year older. Trying to improve my social life also, especially with the females. It's been slow at best but I'm still willing to work at it. Your situation could be worse, if that helps. I'm still a fckin seed, if you know what I mean, but hey fck, no reason for me not to start trying now.

I agree, do something for you not the girls, cause yeah you're gonna lose interest fast.

Try to find something co-ed. If you like guitar, find a situation(s) where you can be around women (preferrably single women and preferrably they outnumber the men). I enjoy soccer, played it since high school. I joined co-ed soccer league. No luck yet, but I enjoy the company and it's fun. Sometimes there are get togethers or parties. I'm new to PUA, so haven't really tried many of the teachings, but I tried some.

Something I need to keep in mind, when at a party "make it almost a goal to meet new people that could lead me to more parties." I tend to converse or socialize most of the night with people I'm familiar with--and if you know they aren't the hosting parties type, time to branch out.
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