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| Online dating query https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=8848 |
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| Author: | oftoronto [ Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Online dating query |
Hi Rye (and anyone else who might have some advice!): First, some context. I'm 23, straight and male. Pretty much zero relationship history and a virgin. Other than that, I'm good on paper -- employed, healthy, not hideous. So the situation is I met a girl through an online dating service, where I made initial contact with her. We e-mailed a couple times and have now gone out on five dates (over the course of a month and a half). I really like her. Problem is, I haven't made ANY moves yet. We are rarely physical and I'm too chickenshit to move beyond a hug goodbye (a hug hello already seems awkward). It never seemed like the right time to give her a kiss, since we have only gone out on brunch/lunch/afternoon movie dates. Every time I walk her home, it's boiling hot outside her building, crowded with tourists and generally the SPAM is obnoxious. Anyways, we only see one another once every one or two weeks, since she lives about 1.5 hours away for school. I'm beginning to think I'm unwillingly transitioning into a "friend." Not sure I've been getting any indications of IOI, other than the fact she e-mails me a lot, but again -- totally friendship territory, right? I owe her a dinner since she paid last time, so there's definitely another date on the horizon. (She asked me out, but I wasn't free this week when she was back). Any tips on what I should do to move forward with this when we meet again? I've never pulled a move on a girl before and don't know where to begin... This should seem easy because at least we met under the pretext of a Dating Website, but I'm probably moving too slow for her... |
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| Author: | oftoronto [ Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Shit, I meant to post this in the "Ask Rye" threat, not begin a new one. My bad, I'm a newbie. |
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| Author: | InnerPunk [ Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey man, I'm far from being an expert, and I'm no rye but i defer to the experts... |
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| Author: | Arkitekt [ Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It does look like the downward spiral into the friend's zone, but you do kind of have a few things going for you if you ask me. 1. You only see each other once every 1 or 2 weeks. You're not blasting her with calls or asking her out all the time are you? Maybe she's thinking you're being very casual about it. Who knows? 2. You proved at least once that you were unavailable. 3. You have distance between one another. Makes it easier for you not to get attached to her. I generally agree with InnerPunk's comments. I will add that you should look for reciprocation from her when escalating kino. If you gently touch her on the shoulder and she doesn't act back by touching you in some way, then you can't just escalate into a hand hold. It's a back-and-forth. If/when you've built attraction, keep your interest level just a notch or two BELOW hers. She has to be just a little more interested in you than you are her. This will work to your advantage because she'll be more likely to make the first move. |
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