I like you, you like me?



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 Post subject: I like you, you like me?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 8:33 pm 
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I originally posted this on a different thread but in hindsight, I think that this is a different topic altogether. I recently shared a chat with 'storyteller' (not his real handle. Here's his plight:

1. He likes a girl.
2. He TELLS his friends he likes this girl.
3. He TELLS the girl, “You know how I feel about you right?”
4. The girl obviously gets skittish. The boy obviously feels disappointed.
5. He reads a few lines out of random pick up material.
6. Now he wants to tell girl a bunch of PU bs then finish with, "So let's go grab a smoothie. You're treating."
7. BUT, he doesn't follow through with #6 because his intuition tells him that #6 is bs + the fact that he feels its bs only adds to his approach anxiety.

Those who've read a few posts here will know that ^this is a common theme. It seems that most guys carry crazy caveman like desires to share his "likes" with whomever is standing in front of them. Examples: Caveman Bongo like fast car. Bongo like meat. Bongo like big boobies. Bongo likey likey. And he always starts off with what he likes the most. . . ie "Bongo really like this girl with big boobies!" . . . "Bongo really like you!" You might think this is funny but this is EXACTLY what 90% of all guys do.

Here's the kicker. After a string of disappointments, the typical guy reads up PU materials that tell him to do the OPPOSITE of what he's been doing. Eureka! Now after the requisite opinion opener and chat about the weather, he pretends, "I no like girl with big boobies." . . . "I no like you!" . . . "And now you treat me to dinner."

This is a conversation? This is game? Is this FUN for you? Can you imagine it being fun for anybody else?

Your 5th grade English teacher was right . . . DON'T tell a story; SHOW the story. If you REALLY LIKE A GIRL, what do you want to do? Where to do you want to do it? When? How? What are the details? What do you want to do with a girl that you really, really like? When asked this question, storyteller wrote:

*Hang out
*flirt
*kiss
*fuck

OK, now we're getting somewhere. So HOW do you want to hang out? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? When do you want to go? WHAT ARE THE DETAILS? How can you turn this into a REAL LIFE fun story?

Here's storyteller's next pass: (I don't remember exact names but this is pretty much it.)

"I like Jerry's juice. They make killer smoothies. She likes this place too. I'd like to take her there. Then I'd like to take her back to my place. We can fool around... So should I tell that she can treat me to Jerry's juice?"

Much better but you can see how the caveman + PU bs continue to make its presence. The good news is that we finally had some real material to form a real life conversation. Here's a condensed version of what we came up with after several more passes:

Storyteller: Hey, when's the last time you went to Jerry's Juice?
Girl: I don't know. 2 weeks ago.

ST: Oh, I've been dying to go. That place is awesome.
G: Yeah it is.

ST: Which flavor did you get?
G: Banana Twist.

ST: Must have been good.
G: Yeah, it's my favorite. It was so good.

ST: I haven't been there in ages and I told you I've been dying to go and now you're rubbing my nose in it. Cherry Blast is much better than Banana Twist anyways.
G: No way, you don't know what you're talking about.

ST: Are you challenging me? How about a head to head taste test like the ol' Pepsi Challenge? (I'm not even sure if storyteller ever heard of this Pepsi promotion. Must have been in the 80's)
G: Whatever.

ST: I declare the 3rd of December the official Cherry Blast to Banana Twist Challenge Day.

On and on and on . . .

Here's what makes this conversation different. Instead of "telling her" that he likes her, he is DEMONSTRATING to the girl that he likes her. This is what people who like each other do with one another. They tease, they flirt, AND THEY GO OUT to do fun things. There is a "what", a "how", a "why", and a "when" in this conversation. Details were achieved in a short 2 minute conversation. You could do this with ANY GIRL, with ANY TOPIC. And when you can do this so easily, why would you want to pull crap from a 'random chat Rolodex' and pass crap back and forth from each other? ZZZZZzzzzzz....

Random chats about the weather or some TV show won't do ANYTHING for you in terms of game. Sitting there and nodding your head while she talks on and on about her favorite hand bag won't do anything for you. Pretending that you're an automatic reader, spouting PU cliche's won't do anything for you.

The idea is to DEMONSTRATE your passion for life and the INCLUSION of her in it. The next time you say to yourself, "I LIKE ______," ask yourself what that really means. Convey to her what's in your heart and go beyond your inner caveman.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:50 pm 
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Very insightful,

Thanks for sharing


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:43 am 
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Kasabi, your posts never get old.

Thanks for contributing.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 8:18 am 
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I love your posts man right on!!!

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:07 am 
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Sticky Them shits.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 5:29 am 
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Guys, I appreciate the kind words but if you think this is a cool idea, I'd love for you guys to give it a shot. Just try it. Let's use this thread as a practice area for 'demonstrating' what's in your heart. As shown with the example in my initial post, this is just a process of evolving towards more effective communications. No grades, no right or wrong . . . just progress that can hopefully benefit you and others . . . If you don't feel like taking the first stab at it, try to participate and help with revising other members' efforts. You will still benefit through involvement.

From what I've seen, the ability to communicate the mind/heart in a way that others can understand it at the emotional level is one of the most powerful assets of influential people. Think of political leaders, execs in corporations, sports team captains and coaches, actors, musicians, military leaders, etc . . .

And whether they realize it or not, this is what every pick up school attempts to do. Hey, we're guys! We already know that we like the girl and we want to get sexual with her. The question is, "How do we demonstrate this desire in a way that she will understand and comply at an emotional level?"

So for laughs, here's:

Mystery: Magic tricks and and ask her opinion about his furry hat.

The creepy old guy with his NLP: Ask her to imagine her favorite holiday and anchor elated emotions with a physical part of her body.

How do other established 'gurus' go about doing this?

And the most important guru of them all. . . YOU! How will YOU communicate what's in your heart? This is the route to figure out your game . . .


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:55 pm 
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awesome and funny post

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:16 pm 
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Myself.

Show sexuality, personal vibes through BL and facial and vocal enthusiasm. Don't go over-board and look like you're on crack.

Use conversation/activities to let a girl bond with me and allow ourselves to learn about eachother.

Show an open an active sexual drive through conversation and mannerisms, but once again keep enough self control to maintain a sense of discreetness.

Show positive sexuality through BL.
Conversation to bond and introduce a frame of mind.
Be aware that behaviour isn't going OTT.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:44 pm 
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I like to be bigger than life. Not in a douchebag way but in a total life of the party way. Then I give value. I listen. I demonstrate who I am in an artistic way. And I just try to be unique as well because unique people get more honest reactions then some clone.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:52 pm 
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If you look at people that are in relationship, a big part of what made that happen are comonalities, if you like a girl and she also likes you, you can be from Mars, she can be from Venus and you'll still find that one thing that you both enjoy.
Like you said kasabi demonstarting is a lot more powerful than telling her that you like her, for two reasons:

1. People react a lot more on emotions [you do that by future projections] than words.
2. If you tell her ''I like you.'' She thinks OK he is might telling the truth or maybe he's just lying. When you're demonstrating that you LIKE her, she knows you can't fake it (supposingly :D ultimately you tell her what you REALLY like about her and that is the whole truth anyway)

A little playfulness goes along the way also, so you also demonstarte that you enjoy her company and and you're having fun with her. If you escelate during that whole process you get:

PLAYFULNESS + ESCELATING + COMFORT (Rapport by demonstrating) = SEXUAL FRAME

From there on it all goes into the bedroom.

I think Sinn said something like: ''Attraction is attractive and seduction is seductive.'' Well that's the whole formula on ^top.

Anyway the bottom line is if you REALLY like the girl you'll REALLY show that to her and she'll be REALLY attracted to you, because everything you're doing isn't fake and she knows that she has nothing to worry about if she goes into bed with you :)

Nice post bro keep up the good work man.




BTW here's my example of demonstrating that I'm into her:

Me: ''I've gotta tell you something I'm a real adrenaline junkie?''
Girl: ''Really, me to.''
Me: ''Oh yeah, what's the carziest thing you did the last time.''
Girl: ''I went rockclimbing.''
Me: ''That's cool I went rockclimbing a few weeks ago and I tell you the adrenaline rush when you look down is just amazing.''
Girl: ''Yeah I know.''
Me: ''And when you come to the top, it's the best feeling in the world, it's like nothing else matters.''
Girl: ''That's true, that's why I like to do it.''
Me: ''Great we'should get together sometimes and go climbing and to get better we can make a parachute jump from the top.''

At the begining you just throw a hook out and if she's into the same thing, she'll bait, from there on you built rapport by speaking with enthusiasm (she'll get sucked in) and in the end you challenge her and boom you've just set up a date with her :D

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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 3:23 pm 
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Very insightful thread Kasabi, thanks.

I have done something like this before. (I think). I asked a girl when the last time she had real fun doing something stupid was. Then I took her to Toys R' Us. We walked round the shop playing with the toys and being stupid. It was genuinely fun and it made flirting and physicality very easy.

After speaking with a friend yesterday he suggested something similar. You both go to a huge deparment store with a budget each. Something like £20 for example. Then there are rules:

-You both have to buy gifts for one another.
-If you see each other you have to turn and walk away.

(I thought perhaps what might be more fun is to make up personas and introduce yourselves under them and what you're doing in the store)

-You can only buy stupid gifts.

(Maybe to make it cheaper it's a smaller budget or just one gift).

We agreed you need to certain type of personality for this- someone fun and fairly open minded.

What are your thoughts Kasabi? Have I completely missed your point?


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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:40 am 
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I like this.

And Im going to demonstrate how much I like this by sharing it with others.


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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 5:11 am 
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Ah so this is a kasabi post. Saw a guy say in another thread say that kasabi posts are always enjoyable. For this thread I would agree, thanks for sharing.


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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:05 pm 
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Joe, We're on the same page. However, the primary focus of the initial post is the "communication process". The point is that you can take the most mundane event and make it interesting and relevant through better story telling. Moby Dick after all, is a story about a big fish (Yes I know whales aren't fish people . .)


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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 3:48 pm 
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This is quality advice. I aim to implement it.

(Also love the date idea above of having $x budget and buying each other gifts)

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