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What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
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Author:  FilmStudentWannabe [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
Hey! I was reading some of the post's here and I noticed that people are saying "nice guy" like it's a bad thing. I don't get it :? So do have to be not very nice to pick up a girl? I dont get this i'm kinda confused. :?
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Nothing's wrong with it, as long as you don't mind being just friends...
Author:  Glowstick [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
Quote:
Hey! I was reading some of the post's here and I noticed that people are saying "nice guy" like it's a bad thing. I don't get it :? So do have to be not very nice to pick up a girl? I dont get this i'm kinda confused. :?
It's not that being a nice guy is not a good thing, you can be a nice guy, but dont be a pushover.

examples of this would be like putting the girl up on a pedastool and doing things for her you wouldnt do for just random people you have meant

The best way to demonstrate that your a nice guy and having it be a good thing, is to reward a girls good behavior by being nice, not just being "nice" for no reason.

hope that helps
Author:  xibuz [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Nice guyz finish last... or not at all.

The problem with being too nice is that it gives you a lot of beta and feminine qualities which couldmake you the perfect friend for a woman, but you'll be climbing the no-sex ladder as your realationship progresses.

Also women can't help but see it as trying to be manipulative or just plain trying too hard when you do nice stuff for them like take them out and buy them stuff, giving her shallow compliments and telling her how u feel about her.

But don't get it twisted, being nice is a good thing, as long as you know how to be a man first.
Author:  Corey [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Theres nothing wrong with being nice. People for whatever retarded reason associate being a nice decent person with being a puss. As long as you show confidence with women, and aren't TOO nice (because remember......too much of anything is bad) you should be good to go.
Author:  jurupa [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Being the nice guy tends to mean that you are a "push over". You are better off being the "good" guy that is a mix of the bad boy and nice guy.
Author:  Kalel [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:48 am ]
Post subject: 
The term "nice guy" has become synonymous with the nice guy syndrome. Whereas a man trying to be so respectful, non-sexual, over-caring, and invested in a woman, that he comes across as completely non-sexual and annoying. The nice doesn't really apply to morals in this context, but rather to the general core beliefs and tendencies that tend to be associated with guys who are labeled as "nice".

There is a book called "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover, that explains this phenomenon in detail.
Author:  pushkidman [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:11 am ]
Post subject: 
You should also see "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" movie (starring Dane Cook and Jason Biggs). It gives a picture perfect example of a nice guy losing to 100% jerk.

There is nothing wrong with being nice if you are very rich or good-looking, but if you rely solely on the Game, Alpha Males are somewhere in the middle between Jerks and Nice Fellows.
Author:  Exerio [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The term "nice guy" has become synonymous with the nice guy syndrome. Whereas a man trying to be so respectful, non-sexual, over-caring, and invested in a woman, that he comes across as completely non-sexual and annoying. The nice doesn't really apply to morals in this context, but rather to the general core beliefs and tendencies that tend to be associated with guys who are labeled as "nice".

There is a book called "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover, that explains this phenomenon in detail.
This is the right answer. Being nice is good, just don't be a push-over like most 'nice' guys have a tendency to be.

- Exerio
Author:  TrueFlame [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
Quote:
Hey! I was reading some of the post's here and I noticed that people are saying "nice guy" like it's a bad thing. I don't get it :? So do have to be not very nice to pick up a girl? I dont get this i'm kinda confused. :?
The point is not to give away how much you like the girl or want to bed her. If she knows you are really into her, then she will often assume you have lower status than her, making you less desirable. Bad boys never give away how much they like a girl, because they don't give a crap.

Also, you need to project strength, which nice guys generally don't.

That said, while being a bad boy will work better in general than being a nice guy,
a good PUA will be both in different situations-for example, bad guy personas work better at night, whereas you need to tone it down in the day.

The problem with being a bad boy all the time is that you never develop any emotional connection between you and the girl. She will be attracted to you, but not trust you, and without trust most (though not all) women won't sleep with you, much less have any kind of relationship.
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
Quote:

The problem with being a bad boy all the time is that you never develop any emotional connection between you and the girl. She will be attracted to you, but not trust you, and without trust most (though not all) women won't sleep with you, much less have any kind of relationship.
But wait, then why do all the actual bad boys get laid so much? I think you're fooling yourself here. Women love the bad boy, they are attracted to men who AREN'T attracted to them. That's why when you're the nice guy you get to hear your new friends whine about the guy who doesn't return phone calls, while she wonders if he cares or if she's just a booty call to him.

Not that I'm getting bitter or anything...
Author:  TrueFlame [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What's wrong with being "a nice guy"?
Quote:
Quote:

The problem with being a bad boy all the time is that you never develop any emotional connection between you and the girl. She will be attracted to you, but not trust you, and without trust most (though not all) women won't sleep with you, much less have any kind of relationship.
But wait, then why do all the actual bad boys get laid so much? I think you're fooling yourself here. Women love the bad boy, they are attracted to men who AREN'T attracted to them. That's why when you're the nice guy you get to hear your new friends whine about the guy who doesn't return phone calls, while she wonders if he cares or if she's just a booty call to him.

Not that I'm getting bitter or anything...
That was why I said "(though not all)". Some Women, especially of working class origins and/or with abusive Fathers, seem to get off on the abuse. This is due to a number of factors :-

1) Their male role model (Daddy) is a jerk. They seek out Daddy jerk in their boyfriends unconsciously. They don't value trust or affection in a relationship because they never had any experience of things and find them unnatural.
2) Growing up in a more hostile environment means they value physicality and aggression, as opposed to other forms of strength, more highly. They are conditioned to find a protector.
3) They get off on the adrenaline of not knowing where they stand with the guy and the constant conflict.

All that said, we are talking about a minority of emotionally damaged, and generally less desirable women.

Middle-upper class girls with good Daddy relationships won't put up with the same bullshit that will lay an emotionally damaged women in minutes. They may tolerate it if you have other good qualities but it isn't helping you.

Btw Women are not attracted to men who aren't attracted to them, that would be stupid. Women do like to be desired sexually. They just don't like men who kiss their ass and make out they are doing a favour by sleeping with the guy. You don't have to be a bad guy to avoid coming off that way.
Author:  Jav [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nice guys are too predictable
Author:  pushkidman [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
The thing is, that if you are really good-looking then she won't care whether you are nice or bad. The same applies to other universal values like status and financial state.
Otherwise, you will have to appeal to her particular type.

Many girls I've dated in the past actually went crazy, when I bought them flowers, gave them compliments, did romantic staff and was generally nice to them.

Many girls turned off when I did things like that and actually enjoyed being rejected and ignored now and then.

Some girls like to take the lead and have man-servants around them, some like to be slaves.

PUAs another mistake (or should I say lie?) is that they try to tell, that 99% women fall for the same shit, yet it's not true. Why do PUAs face rejection and crash & burn even after years of superb game?

Different women grew up in different environments, brough by different families, have different values and priorities as well as have different estrogene/testosterone ratio.

For instance, girls who were brought by single mothers, see all the pain and suffering their moms had to go through, so they tend to look for a nice and caring guy (life taught them to be logical and control their emotions).
Author:  Mr_Elusive [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You should also see "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" movie (starring Dane Cook and Jason Biggs). It gives a picture perfect example of a nice guy losing to 100% jerk.

There is nothing wrong with being nice if you are very rich or good-looking, but if you rely solely on the Game, Alpha Males are somewhere in the middle between Jerks and Nice Fellows.
Yes, please watch that movie. That movie helped me BIG TIME! Soon after seeing that movie I saw a clip of Adam Lyons talking to a group of guys on a rooftop and he was saying how you go from "Nice/shy guy" to complete jerk. While you will get laid being a jerk, its not the ideal situation, you'll end up backing off a bit and finding a nice spot in the middle of the two. After seeing both of those, I took the extra initiative to be the jerk and sure enough I was a lot better off than being nice. Now, eventually I'll back off a bit and I should find a nice place in the middle :lol:
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