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a bit of a survey on self hate and being a natural
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=52791		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  zhukaching [ Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:59 pm ]
Post subject:  a bit of a survey on self hate and being a natural
Hey guys im trying to gain some insight into some thought process of people who is trying to get good with picking up woman. here is my 2 questions

Q1.
are you naturally good with woman before you join the community?

Q2.
do you find yourself often having self-hate, or kicking yourself when you fail to do something, or feel like shit when you didn't do any/not much approach(s) at a night?

Thanks for you feedback guys.
Author:  Jaybot [ Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Q1. I had occasional one night stands and the odd girlfriend but that was mainly down to luck etc

Q2. I don't feel bad if I don't approach, if I see a girl I like I talk to her if I don't get the chance to no biggy, I will probably run into her again at some point.
Author:  Jon Paul [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Q1, was in LTR's with a few girlfriends, so when it came to me being single again id forgotten how to talk/pick up girls till i got in the community

Q2, I get frustrated if I dont approach , but it make me more determined to do it next time when another oppertunity comes around, so i use the frustration as a motivation
Author:  Jav [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Q1, I got with the women I wanted(like a pushy-chode would do), I had alot of self-defeating tendencies and limiting beliefs.
Q2. I used to feel bad if I saw a cute girl and didn't do anything, like i'd think fuuuuuck and kick myself for it. Usually lasted 30 minutes tops then my attention was somewhere else. Nowadays I don't feel bad, like jay, I'll prolly run into her again.
Author:  Exerio [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Q1: Yeah, pretty much. But of course, you always get better.
Q2: No, of course not. I tend to only focus on positive things, negativity get you nowhere.
Author:  Temur/Jeskai [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Q1: No success whatsoever. Struggled a lot with stuff related to Aspergers Diagnosis and episodes of depression (sometimes severe). I still have only k-closed one girl and that was about a year ago.

Q2: More Aspergers stuff here, I usually am frustrated when I don't approach at all. When I went to Bozeman two weeks ago, after reading the Power of Now a lot, whenever I saw the chance to open a set I did, no regrets whatsoever. Just always be present, know that the Now is all you have, the past will only cause you pain and the imagined future is illusory. Just fucking go. The past and future don't exist everything is right now. That is all that ever will be.
Author:  Jude Fox [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Q1.
are you naturally good with woman before you join the community?

** i wasn't - bt i was messed around by so many girls for being the 'nice guy' - since i went to university i have been confident with an 'i dont care - attitude' and had good results with ladies. now im part of the community, it all starts to make sense e.g how i got the x-close or why a girl turned me down.

Q2.
do you find yourself often having self-hate, or kicking yourself when you fail to do something, or feel like shit when you didn't do any/not much approach(s) at a night?

**as someone said previously - i live for the moment, ! i try and turn everything that happens into a positive and wake up the nxt day feelin fine, whatever the results. :)

x
Author:  zhukaching [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks alot for the feeback guys. I notice something here although the sample is really small.

1. naturally good then join community -> less self kicking
2. not naturally good then join community -> more self kicking

Reason I am doing this is because a few days ago I have some observation about the mentality of myself. btw I am the one who have no success before and keep kicking myself when I failed to approach. here is what I notice.

1. I wasn't really wanting that hot woman, I just want social recognition of being the ladies man. I am reluctant to pick up some girls who are sexually attractive to me but not "socially hot".

2. I validate myself base on my performance, i.e. able to approach? got a close? which these stuff are not in my control therefore it turns out I always kick myself when I fail my expectation.

3. I realize I keep thinking of how to seduce every single attractive female I encounter with. I take every chance of interaction I had with woman super seriously and I always kick myself for not making that hot female friend.

I was just trying to find out if these self hate is coming from my past failure with woman. I am now trying to have a more chill and relax attitude on picking up and see how it goes.[/i]
Author:  Turn Up the Night [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Q1: Yes
Q2: No, not anymore.

Sometimes I get attacks of depression again but I remember even minor successes which is more than I was getting a couple of years ago. Even better is when friends and people I meet randomly tell me how great I am. Thats not to sound arrogant, its just that people would tell me I was a really great guy yet I'd never get female attention. But still it was always good someone saw me as a good guy and learning this stuff is helping me figure out how I can show women that too I guess.
Author:  Johnny B. [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: a bit of a survey on self hate and being a natural
Quote:
Hey guys im trying to gain some insight into some thought process of people who is trying to get good with picking up woman. here is my 2 questions

Q1.
are you naturally good with woman before you join the community?

Q2.
do you find yourself often having self-hate, or kicking yourself when you fail to do something, or feel like shit when you didn't do any/not much approach(s) at a night?

Thanks for you feedback guys.
Q1.
No, not untill i turned 19 and started to go out in the bars alot. Before that it was hard for me to talk to a girl. Even when i saw that she was clearly interested about me.
Q2.
Well i have very strong sport background so sometimes yes... ok.. maybe more than sometimes but when it comes to PUA stuff in the bars i always try to learn from my mistakes and succeed next time by avoiding these problems that i had.

[ Johnny B ]
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