PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Help getting over the break up what's the next move?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=52009		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  fragmoider [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:16 am ]
Post subject:  Help getting over the break up what's the next move?
As the title says..

I got dumped by my GF of 2 years and suddenly starting looking for answers why, seems I basically became a pussy/wuss without realising it and lost my mojo.

So the lesson learnt was that women are crazy different and to give them what you think they want only breeds contempt..I think.

So obviously I need to move on to greener pastures.. I have toyed with the idea of "fixing" myself and seeing if I could win her back but not really sure if this is feasible. It seems she has attachment to me but has indicated that she can't at this stage see something long term so thus the break-up.

After a bit of reading and discovering I am the freaking definition of a wuss I can;t say I blame her.

I gots all of these:

Neediness, insecurity (no idea where this came from)
Boring job - used to be a Personal Trainer and on her urging so we would have more money went back into Info Tech (an industry i hate)
I do a fair bit of housework so she can follow her interests.
Buy gifts for her
Take her moody shit without complaint.
generally make myself too available.
no power in the relationship.

As I am typing this I almost feel phsyically ill at how far I have fallen emotionally and physically.

So fellas..what's the next step, I am particualrly interested in breaking my attachment to her..I could possibly see something along the track IF we keep in contact but obviously not while I am in this fairly powerless state.
Author:  Foxtrot 5 [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:25 am ]
Post subject: 
You gotta see yourself as the prize dude. Man up and don't be so needy and attached because women are disposable!!! (Just read that thread earlier)

It's gotta be pretty hard now but get out there and start talking to some girls, have a fun time, and forget about the past
Author:  fragmoider [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:18 am ]
Post subject: 
that's the aim..I sort of stumbled onto this site today so not sure where to start re getting some info..newbie FAQ?

i have seen the game at the local bookstore and when I picked it up the ex was hey WTF are looking at that for?...interesting.

i did have a question actually in relation to this stuff..

A lot of this started when she picked up a new skill, she is very talented leather worker and got involved with the larger name guys out there..some of who are old and crusty 60+ years old . Don't think it's sexual but more mentor style interest as they have currently been feeding her ego.

As I am not world reknowned at anything I guess that set me at a disadvantage and I did bunch of wrong stuff like not get excited about her knew found talent or whatever...

And BTW if it was sexual I would have no problems forgetting about her for good...
Author:  HachiShiro [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
No reason not to get The Game. Maybe Mystery Method. You can probably pick up most the stuff online as well. Really I just got some decent tips by googling for PUA tips.

You did the "nice Guy" thing. Been there myself. I think a lot of us have. Women aren't attracted to that. They're attracted to confidence. You're probably feeling a complete absence of that right now. Don't worry too much. Learn to fake it. People respond the same way to fake confidence and you'll gain real confidence. Actually, I say don't just talk to girls. Talk to anyone. Guys, old ladies, anyone who seems remotely interesting.

You don't need to be world renowned at anything. It helps to be better at something than most of the guys she'll meet. You were a personal trainer. You'll be able to use that to your advantage.

Anyway, I'm a n00b here myself so this is just what I've picked up.
Author:  Foxtrot 5 [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright a few things for starters is getting:
The Game
Double Your Dating (David DeAngelo)
Mystery Method

Those were the first things I read and it's helped a ton. Also, keep at the forums. The more you read, the more you learn.
Author:  fragmoider [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks all,

I'll be into some study..realised I let a lot of my hobbies and trainer stuff go but over the past couple of days picked up a few things.

Working my kettlebells again.
started Eskrima (Kali)
focussing a bit more on my music
started building an online business
started learning about the game
Looking for a new place to live.

Definately still a bit of an issue but put a stop to most wuss behaviour, stopped being clingly and touchy with her and what do you know.. started to get over a bit of one-itis.
Author:  fragmoider [ Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:40 am ]
Post subject: 
One more question..I lie probably more to come :-)

I am still currently living in the same apartment as I need to find a place to live.

Like all women she is able to just go about her business without really showing any emotion.

I take it that to preserve any sense of dignity or male power with her I need to keep all my shit internal and do the same.

No initiating of touch - needy
No talking about the breakup on an emotional level - needy and weak
stopping doing a lot of stuff that I would do for her - cooking and stuff unless it is shared.
No stuff like driving her to the airport or whatever.

Correct or not?
Author:  Dangerboy [ Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yup, that's pretty much it.
Don't be a dick about things, but be indifferent.

Ideally, you want to be happy and bubbly because you're better off now - You're entering a whole new world filled with possibilities and you're life is just getting better by the day.

Good job focusing on your passions and hobbies and moving on with your life!

Oh, and "The Game" is more of a novel than anything else. It just gives you an idea of how the community started, and in a lot of people's opinions - Neil Strauss was quite biased.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/