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| Like the Bremuda Triangle... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=51788 |
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| Author: | All-American [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Like the Bremuda Triangle... |
As you guys know, the Bremuda Triangle is an area in the Atlantic Ocean where all sorts of chaos seems to ensue. Planes and ships get lost, things are untraceable, and everything associated with it is a mystery. It's unexplainable. With that in mind... This past summer, I had a great internship and was able to do a lot of things. For almost a month, we moved a few hours away into a rural area (a college located in the middle of nowhere). While my production work-wise was solid as it should be (I was offered to come back next year), my social skills...well, it really reminded me of the Bremuda Triangle. I'll list what "off things" I did at this barren place......and then how I've been considered to normally act. How I acted for this month is underlined, how I act normally is in plain text: -I mumbled a lot, enough that I could say something to an intern near me and they wouldn't hear it; basically they thought I was just muttering to myself at times......meanwhile, my friends consider me a "leader" of our group because of my communication skills and my clarity when leading them through and explaining certain situations. -My awareness of things outside of actual work was not very good. I'd do something good work-wise, then do something clueless non-work related. I couldn't see through things......meanwhile, things usually don't catch me off guard these days. I've been getting much better at seeing problems before they actually happen. People say I'm perceptive, and can notice when something doesn't seem to make sense. -My wit was spotty. Sometimes it took me awhile to come up with a comeback, or I'd just be really off (awkward-like)......meanwhile, my good friend and roommate at college feels I'm exceptionally good at small-talk and can come up with a clever answer for almost anything. -I was acting before thinking in a lot of social situations at this middle-of-nowhere place. It was funny how off I'd be on something, such as jumping into the middle of a conversation I didn't hear some of (not embarrassing, but not at all close to being spot-on)......I've noticed I normally think before acting most of the time lately, and things will go smoothly. -In terms of girls (since that's what the forum is for), the girl I liked there was apparently only trying to play games with me, and the other girls I met there would be very "hot and cold" when I was around them, and my humor wasn't working. I felt like I couldn't win......so far this year at school, things are going much more "normally." I can talk to any girl, things go smoothly, I can get girls to laugh, and so far I have some possibilities starting to form. I'm not trying to come off as conceited or arrogant here, I'm just trying to write things as they are so you get a better understanding. Basically, I consider myself to be good socially. However, I was somewhat of a wreck here during the one-month period. I'm not sure if it was a confidence thing (hanging out with people I got along with but weren't really buddies with) or a fatigue things (didn't get a ton of sleep, we worked every day), or just about everyone being in a new place, or maybe something else. I was wondering what do you think happened here, and how should I better prepare myself for things like this in the future? |
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| Author: | TheJ [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Did you have different expectations then you normaly have? All the things I saw you unederline points towards anxiety, well maybe except the acting before speeking part. Maybe being tired and all could have played into it too. What your frame the same as the one you normaly have? I don't think you can loose you social skills like that. Anyhow, I woudn't worry about it too much. |
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| Author: | All-American [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Any thoughts? While things are more or less back to normal right now, I'm still curious why I would have been so out of my element for this one month. As I wrote earlier, my work performance remained the same, but socially I was off. I'm thinking it either had to do with being in a new surrounding, fatigue (we didn't get a ton of sleep) or just a lack of confidence because these people weren't my buddies. |
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| Author: | All-American [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks TheJ. I don't think my expectations were any different. My goal going in was to get along and befriend the other interns in my department because we'd be together for almost a month. I worked with a few of them for a month or so prior, so I knew them a little more. Maybe some sort of anxiety could have been involved. I certainly wasn't scared or intimidated by anyone, but perhaps the whole "trying to fit in" got to me. The other interns I had worked with earlier all graduated college and this was more of a job for them (I have one year left). The other couple interns we had attend to the local college. I felt the three interns who graduated college already - they were all real tight with one another - seemed to view themselves as "higher" because of their position. They were nice people, but I'd feel like I was lower than them because of the job. They also were closer to the other recent graduates because of this. At work, I'd be the intern who would pull off something the grads couldn't pull off at work......then soon after do something clueless that wasn't work-related, and they'd scratch their heads. It was very inconsistent. Fatigue could have played a part, although everyone was tired. In fact, I was more awake than most of them, especially in the morning. At night, when all us interns would go out, I usually went back home before them because it was a work night and I wanted to get a little sleep before the next day. As for my social frame, it was pretty similar. I'd be optimistic/upbeat and talk to whoever I could. The difference here is that it didn't work nearly as well. This year at school so far, for example, I'm having much more success. Just a strange situation overall. I'm just trying to figure out what could have caused this lapse during that one month or so. |
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| Author: | All-American [ Sun Sep 13, 2009 5:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
bump...any other thoughts? To me, this is like reviewing tape of a bad game I played in. While I don't expect to encounter an experience like this at the moment, I'm sure I'll see something like it in the future (when I'm at a new place). Is there anything that pops out at you? |
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