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BIG problem - Girl wants to be with me but has a boyfriend
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Author:  Timez [ Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  BIG problem - Girl wants to be with me but has a boyfriend
hi,

Ok this might get a bit long (i don't know) so bare with me if it does....

I met this girl online about 2 years ago and she liked me and i liked her and we was going to meet at the cinima, that didnt happen though because my friend who was driving me there didn't show up (but SHE did go there to meet me, so she did't flake) but then we lost contact for a long time...

Then we started talking on msn again - she has a boyfriend now but....

She has told me how much she wants to be with me, wants to settle down with me, everything together - has even sent txts like "please dont break my heart :(" (awwww don't that just melt you?) - and i really wanna be with her as well - shes a definate 10 as well and the nicest girl you could meet.

she was going to leave her bf because he has been bad to her loads of times. she was planning on doing it the next time she saw him because she wanted to do it in person.

(as a side note i don't want to mess this girl about - if i get her it will be for good :) - shes amazing )

but now the problem.................

her bf hadn't been in contact for a few days and she thought he had ended it anyway so problem solved...

-------------------------------except---------------------------

he was in hospital - so when he came out they talked again - and now he has made all these promises that he will treat her better - and she says her heart is confused now...

and that if she is gonna leave him he has to screw up first now :(

he probbally will but im worred that he won't

is there anything i can do?

thank you

Timez
Author:  ImmortalGropher [ Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is when you say:

"Honey, boys make excuses, men push forward, I'm going out tonight to do (insert whatever here), you're coming. Be ready in 30 minutes, if you're not on time, I'm deducting 20 points and adding them to your bill."
Author:  Timez [ Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
lmao i cant say that!

ok here's the thing tho

she said she will meet me still no matter what happens with her boyfriend - so it's not like i need to get her on a date...

i want her to leave her bf tho - so it's not an issue - she wants it as much as me and feels kinda guilty i guess - and with his stupid promises that he will hurt her with - she doesnt need to go through that.

Timez
Author:  Sappa [ Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well then talk to her IN PERSON!! and tell her that this guy screwed up and should have lost his chance plus people cannot change in the blink of an eye. If he was a dick to her he will continue to be a dick to her.
Author:  ImmortalGropher [ Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell him sappa!

Dude, if you REALLY want to be with this girl, get her to do something with you, make it spur of the moment, casual and time constraining. Then basically tell her what Sappa just said. People don't change in the blink of an eye, he's just making empty promises that you plan to fulfill (say it like that too) then do some kino, like as you say it, grab her hand while being relaxed in body language, squeeze it and slowly let go.

After that, you oughta be golden. then you could say "hey lean in, I have to tell you a HUGE secret...she leans in, get close to her ear and say "you soooo want to kiss me" then kiss her.
Author:  ImNaShitFool [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:38 am ]
Post subject: 
What I'm about to say, may or may not be right for you, but consider it.

She sounds confused & easy to control.

You don't want her to leave her bf, cause when she's with you, she'll do the same to you, your not special despite what she may say, she probably told her BF similar shit before.

You want her to stay with her BF so you can fuck her and use it as an excuse to not be in a relationship with her.

But I'd try to kill w/e attachment I had for her, cuz really, its not good to be attached to a girl like that, she WILL do the same to you.

I'd just hang out for a minute, take her on a date, have fun & make a move (sexual advance) when she's off balance & not sure who she wants more... hit her with it when she's confused... or even better, when he fucks up again & she's upset & talks about it to you.

Then after when she's being all confused & shit still not sure, just play it cool & let her BF have her & do his thing, but once he fucks up or leaves her with you, she's urs...

Don't: be jeaolous, make her talk about her BF any more then she already does, be insecure, be afraid to make the move, or let your feelings effect your better judgment.

Do: be calm & cool, show her a good time, distract her from her problems, occasionally use words like baby, sweetie, honey, my love, little sweet shit that'll make her like u more, that's especially effective if her BF don't do it.

The most important thing is making her happy right now while staying away from the "lets be friends" zone... so in other words, don't change what your doing, let her know, that your here for her cuz you care for her no matter who she chooses & distract her from her typical female bullshit, but MAKE SURE she stays mindfull of your feelings & she knows that if she chooses him it may hurt you & cause her to loose you.
Author:  Timez [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
What I'm about to say, may or may not be right for you, but consider it.

She sounds confused & easy to control.

You don't want her to leave her bf, cause when she's with you, she'll do the same to you, your not special despite what she may say, she probably told her BF similar shit before.

You want her to stay with her BF so you can fuck her and use it as an excuse to not be in a relationship with her.

But I'd try to kill w/e attachment I had for her, cuz really, its not good to be attached to a girl like that, she WILL do the same to you.

I'd just hang out for a minute, take her on a date, have fun & make a move (sexual advance) when she's off balance & not sure who she wants more... hit her with it when she's confused... or even better, when he fucks up again & she's upset & talks about it to you.

Then after when she's being all confused & shit still not sure, just play it cool & let her BF have her & do his thing, but once he fucks up or leaves her with you, she's urs...

Don't: be jeaolous, make her talk about her BF any more then she already does, be insecure, be afraid to make the move, or let your feelings effect your better judgment.

Do: be calm & cool, show her a good time, distract her from her problems, occasionally use words like baby, sweetie, honey, my love, little sweet shit that'll make her like u more, that's especially effective if her BF don't do it.

The most important thing is making her happy right now while staying away from the "lets be friends" zone... so in other words, don't change what your doing, let her know, that your here for her cuz you care for her no matter who she chooses & distract her from her typical female bullshit, but MAKE SURE she stays mindfull of your feelings & she knows that if she chooses him it may hurt you & cause her to loose you.

hmmm this is brilliant,

I think he is already starting to fuck up anyway - he hasnt been in contact with her again today (but she is making excuses for him already) - i need to make her see she is making the right decion being with me
Author:  Timez [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol im so in there! :D

i wanted to get her out on a date asap so i said this.... tell me what you think (i didnt wanna ask so i said.....)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ME: im taking you out next week

HER: are u?

ME: lol yeah

HER: wen?

ME: soon as you have a day off

HER: im off tues wed sat

ME: tues it is then :)

ME: meet me at the cinima at 6pm - if your late ill deduct 20 points off your bill

HER: i'll be there
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

he he so how did i do?

Timez
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
I faced this situation a while ago. What I did was to never talk bad about her BF. Build sexual tension. Establish a meeting routine. Create an our world conspiracy. Get a soul mate moment, get internal jokes.

Above all, dont see him as a threat. Dont push her to do anything. That is showing dominance.

If you cannot beat her BF without destroying him you shouldnt have her. She has to see you as an upgrade even if her BF is great.

Ezo
Author:  Sappa [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ya and if her BF is not great which sounds to me like he is a dick to her... then you got it!
Author:  ImmortalGropher [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
lol im so in there! :D

i wanted to get her out on a date asap so i said this.... tell me what you think (i didnt wanna ask so i said.....)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ME: im taking you out next week

HER: are u?

ME: lol yeah

HER: wen?

ME: soon as you have a day off

HER: im off tues wed sat

ME: tues it is then :)

ME: meet me at the cinima at 6pm - if your late ill deduct 20 points off your bill

HER: i'll be there
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

he he so how did i do?

Timez
Perfect. ULTRA COMBOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Me, being a grammar Nazi, I gotta say "cinima" is like...horrible though haha. Unless that's what it's actually called. cinima cinema XD.

Keep in mind her bill is an achievement bill, the more she achieves, the more non-existent points you give her, the less she achieves or does lame shit, you deduct lol.
Author:  Sappa [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
lol im so in there! :D

i wanted to get her out on a date asap so i said this.... tell me what you think (i didnt wanna ask so i said.....)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ME: im taking you out next week

HER: are u?

ME: lol yeah

HER: wen?

ME: soon as you have a day off

HER: im off tues wed sat

ME: tues it is then :)

ME: meet me at the cinima at 6pm - if your late ill deduct 20 points off your bill

HER: i'll be there
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

he he so how did i do?

Timez
Perfect. ULTRA COMBOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Me, being a grammar Nazi, I gotta say "cinima" is like...horrible though haha. Unless that's what it's actually called. cinima cinema XD.

Keep in mind her bill is an achievement bill, the more she achieves, the more non-existent points you give her, the less she achieves or does lame shit, you deduct lol.
Lol i was trying to figure out what the meaning of points where lmao :D
Author:  Timez [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol who says they are non existant :) - for every so many points she owes me a kiss - and she knows it lol :P x
Author:  Timez [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
um guess the boyfriend is off the scene....

HER:

i text him sayin hey are u ok not heard from u all day
and he was like im busy at work
and i sed oh its ur day off tho
and he sed yeh i got bored n went in
and he wa slike im rele busy i'll text u 2moro
and i sed oh i take it were not meetin then
and he wa slike look im rele busy i dont have time for this blah blah
and i sed i cant believe ur doin this to me again
and he was like
i need a woman tht understands how important my job is
you deserve a guy tht can be with u all the time
and i sed u've broke my heart i never wana tlk to u again
and he sed he dint have time for all this shit n he'd delete my number

she is all in pain now (i understand - even if you dont wanna be with someone it hurts when you cant be)

i think she has deleted his number

my question is - what now?

Timez
Author:  ImmortalGropher [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Give her some time to get well from it, maybe say "I'm here for you if you need to talk" but leave her be for a couple days and see what happens.
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