PUA Forum :: Is this a HINT to ask her out?

henning, I've been through the same thing as you, I was in a relationship for 18 years which is longer than probably half the poster on here have been alive

, so I feel very qualified to offer you advice.

OK lets start with the "I dont wanna blow t either" thing - your operating from a position of fear, you HAVE to get over this. You have to remember that woman often communicate indirectly and what she said is tantamount to begging you to meet up with her. If you had had your wits about you the ideal thing would have been something like "OMG its dangerous in there - you need a strong man to look out for you" but since that window of opportunity has passed, the next time you chat you have to lay it on the line.

You should use an assertive tone "since your coming to (wherever) we should meetup ...". Dont beg, dont, even ask, demonstrate some decisiveness. I can GUARANTEE you that a woman who has been chatting with you a lot for several days is ready to meet up unless she is some super-suspicious freak.

A couple of other tips relevant to your situation. Ideally try to meet up with a couple of other woman before you meet this one just to get over the nerves and gain a bit of confidence. Go on to whatever site it was and tap up all the local girls who expressed any interest in you or viewed your profile. Really don't beat around the bush, just send them a message saying hey liked your profile blah blah blah sine were local how about we meet up some time for a coffee. Probably one in three will agree straight off the bat.

I'd also probably try to avoid to filling your head with PUA mechanics and tricks at this tender stage of your development, just go in with a sense of self worth: don't lean in and hang off her every word but do be interested in her and keep good eye contact. Try to keep the conversation positive (no moaning about ex's or example) perhaps steer it onto romantic topics like her ideal destination for a romantic break.

(s)

Author:	henning [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 7:38 am ]
Post subject:	Is this a HINT to ask her out?
Been talking to this girl for about 5 days, going very well. Her initial idea (regarding online dating) was to meet for coffee in public (first meeting). Anyway...weve talked alot the past few days, and i feel that we are both comfortable & interested at this point. Long story short...im from chicago, and I said I travel back often. She keeps bringing up "yea Id love to go to chicago and see the shed aquarium!" Tonight, she tells me that she has a stretch of days off next week, and she is planning on going there. Its like she doesnt even mention the "first meeting" for coffee now, and keeps saying things like "yep...im gonna plan out my week, and i am going to take day to chicago! Going to the shed aquarium (pause) I cant wait! (sorta giggle while talks)" Is she hinting for me to say something like "well...lets just go together? First date?" I dont wanna say that if thats not what shes implying, then again, I dont wanna blow t either if it IS what shes hinting to me. Yea i know I sound like a wussy...Im learning slowly guys! Please give me credit for getting this far. Ive been living in shadows since my divorce

Author:	Call Me Dre [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:02 am ]
Post subject:
yea she was expecting you to say something in that pause, like maybe that you were down to go with her, but yea.. i think that the next time you guys are talking say something like, hey if your really coming to chicago, we should meet up and grab a bite, oh man! i know the best little spot(think of a local spot you like.. dosent even have to be good), and who knows, maybe you will get lucky and ill go to the aquarium with you

Author:	kasabi [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:19 am ]
Post subject:
Realizing now that the OP is probably too old for the "ass kicking" words I used in my initial reply. So here's the edit: Give your libido, desires, and yourself more respect; you really don't need anybody's permission to ask a girl to go out with you.

Author:	Call Me Dre [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:54 am ]
Post subject:
i agree with every thing he said except the Quote: Instead, YOU ASK A GIRL OUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO STICK YOUR COCK DEEP UP HER PUSSY AND SHOOT YOUR SEED SO DEEP IT SQUIRTS OUT OF HER MOUTH . . . PERIOD. part... i feel its this kind of "brooooo humor" that makes us look like retarded sub level creatures that only think about sex... yes he does sound a bit wussy like, but thats because he hasnt equilibrated himself yet, every guy needs to have a sensitive side, and a baddd ass mother fucker side.. ps. a good way to learn to do something is to over do it, to test the limitand such, so maybe hes right, you might have to be a huge douche for a little whille to equilibrate

Author:	sapphire [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:51 am ]
Post subject:
henning, I've been through the same thing as you, I was in a relationship for 18 years which is longer than probably half the poster on here have been alive , so I feel very qualified to offer you advice. OK lets start with the "I dont wanna blow t either" thing - your operating from a position of fear, you HAVE to get over this. You have to remember that woman often communicate indirectly and what she said is tantamount to begging you to meet up with her. If you had had your wits about you the ideal thing would have been something like "OMG its dangerous in there - you need a strong man to look out for you" but since that window of opportunity has passed, the next time you chat you have to lay it on the line. You should use an assertive tone "since your coming to (wherever) we should meetup ...". Dont beg, dont, even ask, demonstrate some decisiveness. I can GUARANTEE you that a woman who has been chatting with you a lot for several days is ready to meet up unless she is some super-suspicious freak. A couple of other tips relevant to your situation. Ideally try to meet up with a couple of other woman before you meet this one just to get over the nerves and gain a bit of confidence. Go on to whatever site it was and tap up all the local girls who expressed any interest in you or viewed your profile. Really don't beat around the bush, just send them a message saying hey liked your profile blah blah blah sine were local how about we meet up some time for a coffee. Probably one in three will agree straight off the bat. I'd also probably try to avoid to filling your head with PUA mechanics and tricks at this tender stage of your development, just go in with a sense of self worth: don't lean in and hang off her every word but do be interested in her and keep good eye contact. Try to keep the conversation positive (no moaning about ex's or example) perhaps steer it onto romantic topics like her ideal destination for a romantic break. (s)

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Author:	KristallNachte [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:
the moment you're asking yourself "is that a hint" you're kind of late.

Author:	kasabi [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: the moment you're asking yourself "is that a hint" you're kind of late. The whole 3 second thing is more about yourself than the girls. . . You probably already know that. Anyhow, this particular situation isn't really a "pick up" and I'd think the guy has plenty of time . . . It's just . . . well, there's really no reason to wait 3 years . . .

Author:	henning [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: henning, I've been through the same thing as you, I was in a relationship for 18 years which is longer than probably half the poster on here have been alive , so I feel very qualified to offer you advice. OK lets start with the "I dont wanna blow t either" thing - your operating from a position of fear, you HAVE to get over this. You have to remember that woman often communicate indirectly and what she said is tantamount to begging you to meet up with her. If you had had your wits about you the ideal thing would have been something like "OMG its dangerous in there - you need a strong man to look out for you" but since that window of opportunity has passed, the next time you chat you have to lay it on the line. You should use an assertive tone "since your coming to (wherever) we should meetup ...". Dont beg, dont, even ask, demonstrate some decisiveness. I can GUARANTEE you that a woman who has been chatting with you a lot for several days is ready to meet up unless she is some super-suspicious freak. A couple of other tips relevant to your situation. Ideally try to meet up with a couple of other woman before you meet this one just to get over the nerves and gain a bit of confidence. Go on to whatever site it was and tap up all the local girls who expressed any interest in you or viewed your profile. Really don't beat around the bush, just send them a message saying hey liked your profile blah blah blah sine were local how about we meet up some time for a coffee. Probably one in three will agree straight off the bat. I'd also probably try to avoid to filling your head with PUA mechanics and tricks at this tender stage of your development, just go in with a sense of self worth: don't lean in and hang off her every word but do be interested in her and keep good eye contact. Try to keep the conversation positive (no moaning about ex's or example) perhaps steer it onto romantic topics like her ideal destination for a romantic break. (s) Thanks for the advice. As far as the other posters here saying "its too late" I kinda disagree. I mean, last nights convo only lasted like 15 min, it was late, she had to work..etc. But her final words were "well...go ahead and give me a call tomorrow...maybe about 2pm" I still feel the interest in her voice, and she is ALWAYS sorta giggling and seems very interested in what I say. I know what you mean about "talk to other girls too" Im just saying this one is going TOO GOOD, and i feel something...maybe thats a wussy response, but hell I love this feeling. I miss it, and i want to feel alive again

Author:	Jaybot [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't wait for hints or her approval, if you want to go out take her, if you want to hang with her do. If the thought hasn't crossed your mind then don't pander to her whims. Meh you are the man and as such you are the leader, so lead

Author:	KristallNachte [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:
i didn't mean literally too late. its kinda just to stress the fact that if you have to ask you're pussying out.

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