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Clubs and dancefloors
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Author:  Builder [ Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Clubs and dancefloors
Okay, so a couple of years ago when I was still a virgin who'd never had a girlfriend I decided that I'd get good at dancing because hey, chicks dig that, right? Anyway, I actually got pretty good over time and got a girlfriend (who I met through friends in a club, not sure if the dancing played a part or not), sexual experience, a bit of social proof and all that jazz. Anyway, I'm single again now and my biggest problem with chicks is my HUGE approach anxiety. I don't have any confidence to open girls, but if they open me I'm fine and improving by the week, I think. Escalating can still be a bit of a problem, but that's now what this thread is about.

The other night I was dancing, and these two girls (both 8's, I would say!) were obviously watching me from the couch. I made an effort not to look back at them, and just kept going. They then got up and began dancing themselves right next to me, getting really close, but keeping their backs to me. I moved location, two minutes later they had to and were right next to me again. I went to cool off by the fan for five min, they left for the bar, when I was dancing again they were right next to me again and now bumping into me from time to time. I got the courage to give one an exaggerated bump back and smile at her, which got them turned around looking at me and smiling hugely at me and cheering at my dancing, I managed to keep eye contact and grin back but that was it. After awhile they lost interest, I saw one of them making out with another guy on the couch and they left before I did.

I know that I should have made a move, and looking back I'm kicking myself for it because this actually happens quite often.. what should I have done/said? I knew I had to do something, but no idea what. Also, the way I dance is very much a solo thing.. I have no idea how to bring a girl in and dance with her.
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Should of made that move. Alot of physical IOI at that point all you had to do was stick out your hand and they will comply. No words needed. You can save the talking for later off the dance floor. I find it dificult to try and talk on the dance floor. Just short sweet sentences. Somehow get her off the dance floor.
Author:  Jack Sunday [ Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
In The Blueprint Decoded, Tyler Durden talked about what's going through his head when he approaches girls "Let's expand the party". I highly recommend you checking these DVDs out.

But the point was to seriously have no intention of hitting on these girls, your intention should be to make new friends and meet new people. All you should be thinking of is "This person looks cool. Let's find out if they are." Have no ulterior motives. Things don't work out, no big deal, they can't be your friends now.

Don't worry about lines, don't worry about congruency tests, don't worry about IOI's or IOD's. Walk up and say "Hi." Talk about what ever you want, video games, computers, all the things everyone in the community tells you is wrong go ahead and do. Buy them drinks if you want. Be nerdy, be dorky, be unattractive. Just get used to talking to people. You keep doing that for a few weeks you'll see your AA go way down. Then build off that.

Best of luck.
Author:  Gavin Dance [ Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jack's right.

But seriously, it's not too hard to dance with girls. They won't except you to dance pairs, just shake with 'em a bit, then dance solo again and do some teasing, get on her again and so on... just have fun. Also when they're two, don't be afraid to choose one, it's the game and if you're lucky they will dance both with you.
Author:  Builder [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Okay, next time I'll make an effort to talk to them as I would any other person. I have no issues talking with random guys in a club, so what's the difference? Just out of curiosity, how would it have gone over if I said something like, "Do you like my dancing?" (not sure if that's like I'm looking for validation..?) "Yes!" "Well, do you want to buy me a drink?" Thoughts?

On another note, I was just tagged in a picture on Facebook from that same night. One of my chick friends tagged me who's brother is friends with the person that took the picture. Anyway, it was of my legs while I was dancing and had the caption "Sweet pants." The girl who took the photo looks kind of cute in the few pics that I've seen of her, but her profile is private. I posted a comment on the picture, "You can't just take pictures of my pants!" to which she replied, "I didn't mean to! I accidentally pressed the button.. And captured some magic. :P" I then replied to that with, "Do you think that excuse would hold up if I went around taking photos of girls legs? :p" and she replied with, "I think its about time its put to the test! I suggest brandishing a sword and possibly some armor to defend yourself against handbags and angry boyfriends."

Leave it there or are we flirting somewhat or what?
Author:  Sinn [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Try something like

"I totally caught you STARING at me! And you're adorable! I'm (Insert your name here)"

The compliment balances out the cockiness, but if they laugh when you open then you don't need it and can just introduce yourself.

I like this for approach invitations.

Though I've heard some of Gambler's stuff on AIs is really good as well. Like when he pretends he knows the girl. I'm sure you can look that up.

JS
Author:  Builder [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 7:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Nice one, I'll give that a go when and if a similar situation occurs, thanks!

Any thoughts from anyone on the Facebook pants photo girl? I was going to just add her but I don't know..
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