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i want more than LJBF...
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Author:  BombshellBrunette [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:00 am ]
Post subject:  i want more than LJBF...

I'm a girl in college. When i was a freshman in college, he was a junior. we both go to different colleges, but I visit his college to work my game. 1st night we met for the 1st time, we walked around campus looking for beer. we talked, got to know eachother, and he asked me if i wanted to back to his place. i went, we watched a few shows with his 5 roommates, and fell asleep cuddling. I have never cuddled like that before and in a way, it was better than sex. Afterwards we kept on touch online through IM and text. For a year, I worked my hardest at my game, but the thing was sometimes he was hot and sometimes he was cold. I'd dress like an HB9, but it was like he just saw right through me and didn't compliment me or anythin g like the other players i have dated. when we would talk, i felt sometimes he saw me as a friend while other times he was flirty. He ended up being my date for my semi formal, and it wasn't as exciting as i had hoped. Compared to when we 1st met, he was more distant and less talkative. I waited for a year before I told him I liked him online. He answered with, "i like you just as a friend". I was crushed. It was awkward but a few month later, we started hanging out at his apartment and talking once again. My question is, will i ever get out of the "LJBF" phase? I mean we have only cuddled twice out of the 2 years that I have known him...i asked him if he finds me attractive and he says he does, but why doesn't he compliment me?

Author:  Kalel [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:55 am ]
Post subject: 

Because you are too easy to get, you're not a challenge. Guys like the thrill of the hunt, and you're taking that thrill away. You need to learn how to both throw yourself at him and away from him at the same time. You must spend time around him, but at the same time give him the feeling like you don't want him... but he can have you if he works hard enough. Almost like salsa, pull him in...push him away, pull him in... push him away. This yo-yo effect will drive him crazy.

The main problem is that you are too invested in this guy and you are coming off needy and insecure. Try being confident and cocky, speak your mind and don't try to impress him or worry about what he thinks of you. Besides just trying to get this guy, you should have some self-respect. I don't care who he is, he isn't worth 2 years of your life waiting! Stop acting like he's the last guy on earth. You have options! And if you realized that, you would instantly be 100X more attractive in the eyes of most guys, including your crush. We call this phenomenon oneitis and a scarcity mindset, and it's emotional poison for newbies.

Author:  Jack Sunday [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

This is a long time to be working on someone. As hard as it might be, you might just want to pull the plug on this. Game is meant to help people better themselves and attract people they like. Some people use it to distort and confuse a relationship. That's when Game becomes manipulative. It sounds like that's what this guy is doing and it sounds like that isn't what you are looking for in a relationship. Which is completely normal.

Best of luck.

Author:  Killians [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

I agree with both responses above.

From a female's perspective, you are gonna kill yourself trying to win him over. If he wanted anything more it would have happened by now. Stop trying to make up excuses...we talk for hrs on the phone, we cuddle without sex...he must like me!!! Trust me ...been there done that. Being physically attracted to you doesnt mean anything. If he wanted you he would have grabbed you tight and never have let you go. Stop cuddling with him, keep him as a friend, and open up your eyes to the endless possibilities of men out there.

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