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Major Approach Anxiety
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Author:  Rich08 [ Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Major Approach Anxiety
Hey guys, i need some help with this.

Ive been researching the game for about 6 months now, particulary the mystery method, but ive never plucked up the courage to approach a group of girls and try it.

I get major analysis paralysis "What if it goes wrong, what if it messes up"....

I just dont know what to do about it. Ive recently come back from a weekend away, and could have approached girls, but whenver i went out to bars and clubs with friends, i just ended up standing in a small circle with them, chatting, and looking at the girls.

*My mates are up for speaking to girls too*

Its kinda annoying me, and im always speaking about the Game, but never try it.

HELP
Author:  henning [ Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have major AA too. I am taking the advice others here gave me.

Don't concentrate so much on approaching girls right now. Just go to a public place and say HI to every girl (or everyone) you see and keep moving.
Author:  Dangerboy [ Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Best advice, as Henning said, is to smile and say hi to every girl you see.
There's no way that you're going to get over your approach anxiety if you don't take the first big step!
You can play the $10 game - Give $100 to a friend and returns $10 for every approach you make. That's been a good motivator for my mates
Author:  TrulyJack [ Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am fairly new to this as well and approach anxiety has been a majot obstacle for me too but I think I am finally starting to deal with it, a number of things that have helped me:

1. It is a mindset, you might be worried about rejection or worse if they laugh at you, but you need to get yourself in the mind set where you are just having a laugh, taking the mickey a bit, that you don't care and that it is even funny if they reject you. You are just doing something crazy, going out to bars and talking crap to loads of women. (Well hopefully not crap but you get my drift).

2. Think about your opener and what you are going to say before you say it. Don't just go up with no opener in your head. Have an opener, say it in your head first then just go up and say it and if they reject or insult you (which is actually very unlikely, people are generally friendly) you can use some comebacks or learn to just laugh it off (but don't be mean or insult them).

3. Small steps, use basic functional or situational openers to begin with such as "What is the time?" or if you see a woman at a bar buying an unusual drink "What is that drink you are drinking?" Just simple things like that then make an exit. It is just about getting used to it in small, baby steps and then building up gradually. At the moment you are talking about opening up a large set using flashy mystery moves. You are not at that level yet, you need to build up to it, like learning to walk - you learn to crawl first.

Hope this helps.
Author:  Rich08 [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
3. Small steps, use basic functional or situational openers to begin with such as "What is the time?" or if you see a woman at a bar buying an unusual drink "What is that drink you are drinking?" Just simple things like that then make an exit. It is just about getting used to it in small, baby steps and then building up gradually. At the moment you are talking about opening up a large set using flashy mystery moves. You are not at that level yet, you need to build up to it, like learning to walk - you learn to crawl first.
Very good advice guys, particularly this.

Yeah i think you are right, im getting ahead of myself, and trying to start off too soon with the big moves like approaching a 3 or 4 set. Im not close to that standard yet, and should start of small.

Has anyone tried the stylelife challenge? Is this a good starting point?

Thanks.

Rich - 23 years old
Author:  DonPua [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
3. Small steps, use basic functional or situational openers to begin with such as "What is the time?" or if you see a woman at a bar buying an unusual drink "What is that drink you are drinking?" Just simple things like that then make an exit. It is just about getting used to it in small, baby steps and then building up gradually. At the moment you are talking about opening up a large set using flashy mystery moves. You are not at that level yet, you need to build up to it, like learning to walk - you learn to crawl first.
Very good advice guys, particularly this.

Yeah i think you are right, im getting ahead of myself, and trying to start off too soon with the big moves like approaching a 3 or 4 set. Im not close to that standard yet, and should start of small.

Has anyone tried the stylelife challenge? Is this a good starting point?

Thanks.

Rich - 23 years old
I didn't really tried stylelife challenge but I have seen/read it. I think it is worth it. It is a package consisting of 31 days and you have to follow every step of it day by day. Day 1 consists of making small talk to 5 people you never met before. There is also a NLP audio track in order to build confidence. Day 2 is body language. Day 3 is voice tonality. Every day you learn something new untill day 6 or 7 where you have to start opening a set. So it gradually tries to improve you. So very usefull. I would try it out if I were you.
Author:  Overture [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ive never had to deal with AA, communicating with people just comes naturally to me.

But however, imagine the WORST CASE SCENARIO. Whats the worst that can happen? That they totally ignore you. In that case, its just to return to your friends, smiling of course. If you get rejected like that, its only funny! (well.. depending on how you look at it. I chose always to look at the funny sides of everything, makes my life hell of a lot easier).

Then. Imagine the best case scenario. You all know what that is.

So by imagining both the worst case and best case scenario of approaching girls.. Doesnt it seem like a risk you should be willing to take? ;)
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