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Need Help! Ex-BF begged her back...haven't closed yet
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Author:  kcluva [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Need Help! Ex-BF begged her back...haven't closed yet

This is pretty sad to report, my new friends. But I had this Hottie from work. All set, sex talk and a quick hang out for a drink. Made plans to get together next week (like an AFC)...but, unfortunately, fell into "like" mode with her. Anyway, over the weekend, her ex begged her back and promised to be good to her...etc. Basically he broke her heart....they broke up a month ago....he found out she's the best he'll get and came back begging for a new shot. And she wants to give him a try.

Anyway, how do I break that. Seen plenty on avoiding LJBF and alienating the BF....but nothing on this.

Author:  Monkey [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

This may be the weirdest thing you've ever heard me say, but "be her gay friend" is some of the best advice in situations like this. If you want to make sure she doesn't get back together with her ex, then give her the advice you'd give a girl you're not interested in.

"I don't think I could go out with someone who'd done that to me. I need trust in my relationships."

"You know, there are reasons you guys broke up. Do you really think those are all going to be gone this time around?"

"Y'know, you guys were going out for a long time. If I were in your shoes, I'd just play the field for a bit. Relationships are great, but you should find one you know you're going to like instead of going back to one that didn't work out. You're a pretty girl. I'm sure that if you looked around for a while, you could find the perfect guy (pointing at yourself)."

Also, prove your value. Contrast your high points to his low. Make sure you fill all the holes he made, and demonstrate that in your story-telling and DHVs.

Author:  narcist [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:33 am ]
Post subject: 

I would take her a bunch of times but in a friendly way, while demonstrating DHV and sooner or later she will start falling for u

Author:  Monkey [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:07 am ]
Post subject: 

Also, remember to SOI. A lot. If she can put you into the LJBF zone, she will, so you have to have that contract with her. "If this is going to continue, it's going to continue from a sexy place."

Author:  kcluva [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Gentlemen, thank you! All's not lost yet! Was feeling like a total AFC and needed a little confidence boost.

Yesterday, on IM:

Me: Trying to figure out if you are LJBF'ing me
Her: What's lbjf?
Me: lets just be friends
Her: Oh, over my head
Me: what?
Her: the intials
Me: Lets Just Be Friends
Her: I GOT IT!!
Me: oh good, i was wondering how many times i have to tell this girl, lets just be friends!!!!
Her: LOLOLOLLOL. you are funny...i think
Me: thank you for the compliment...."i think"
Her: well, i have to get to know you better silly

Boys, thank you for your help and feel free to come the suggestions coming!!!

Author:  Monkey [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

S. O. I.

Tell her that you find her sexy, or you guys are headed straight for the friend zone. "I need to get to know you better" while her ex is playing on the in-field? Piss on that.

You need to get yourself a contract. You need for her to acknowledge that anything that happens between the two of you, from this point forward, is coming from a sexy/relationship place, not a friendly place. You do that by telling her you find her sexy. Over. And Over. And Over Again. Not obnoxiously, but until she figures out you have ideas about where her pants should be the next time you see each other.

Author:  kcluva [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 12:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Monkey!! You are my man!! Thank you! Also, Narcist, thank you!

Did a lot of SOI yesterday. Let her know I already have a lot of friends, not looking for new ones and if I was, I'd get a dog.......all with a smile on my face!

We're rolling along, but here comes another weekend....and who knows what will happen. Not as scared though. Thank you!

If you wanna throw me anything I should do before the weekend, feel free. If not, I will close out this one. Thank you!

Author:  P2D2 [ Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
If you wanna throw me anything I should do before the weekend, feel free
Shave your head. Get a tattoo. Learn martial arts.



That's close to something one of the guys in the Perth lair says all the time. I freaking love it.

- Dex

Author:  SouthernCross [ Sat Jul 28, 2007 7:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

This is a late response but It sounds like you haven't even kissed this girl your operating in damage control zone which is Very, very, very BAD.
I'll give u a future tip the first time you hang out with a girl YOU have GOT TO GO FOR KISS otherwise you'll get LJBF and coming out of that is near impossible.

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