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| I'm Old & New https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4013 |
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| Author: | porter [ Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I'm Old & New |
I suspect I'm older than the majority of you, but I'm not versed in PUA at all, and would love some advice on whether I did the right thing. And if not, if there's anything I can do to correct my actions. Let me preemptively say: THANK YOU FOR ANY ADVICE! A few months ago, I reconnected with a girl I hadn't seen in a while and with whom I was never great friends, more acquaintances. We started hanging out together every once in a while, grabbing dinner or drinks, and each time we got along surprisingly well. I was always left unsure of how she felt about me, whether it was as just friends or something greater. On one hand, she was not giving me any overt signals, but on the other, I felt that at my age (she's the same age - 30 years old), a guy and a girl don't keep hanging out and having awesome times together without attraction. Finally I decided fuck it, I like her and would like to see her on an intimate level. So, in a somewhat joking manner, I asked her out. She responded that she had entertained the idea of us dating, and that we do get along great, but at the moment, she's going through a confusing period of talking to her ex-boyfriend and so for now, she has to decline (just so you know, at this point we were conducting the conversation through emails, not the phone, and all of these emails on both sides have a joking, off-hand manner found between two good friends that I'm not properly conveying in this re-telling). Now, here's the point where I'm questioning my own actions: I responded (again, by email, and again, in much more light-hearted and joking manner than I'm able to convey here, using inside jokes between the two of us) by saying that while I obviously think she's great, I'm not going to be friend-friends with someone I like as more than a friend. It never seems like a healthy experience for either person. And, in essence, I left it at that. She responded one last time by saying that she wished we could be friends, but she understood what I was saying. So my question is -- did I fuck up by kinda breaking it off with her? The truth is, it would be sorta annoying to hang with her as just friends. I don't get crushes easily and I was (am) crushing on this girl hard, and I feel like I'd be fucking with my own emotions still hanging with her knowing it's just as friends. But I also feel like maybe I fucked up by not just playing off rejection as no skin off my back. Like maybe I made whatever our relationship was into too serious a thing by breaking shit off with her in the face of rejection, and now (assuming the ex-boyfriend thing was true and not just a means of rejecting me), even if it doesn't work out between her and her ex-, she'll think of me as too serious a relationship rather than something fun...? DID I DO THE RIGHT THING? Obviously, I'm sorta tormenting myself on this stuff. Because I like her in a way that I haven't liked anyone in a while. Which kinda means something at my old man age of 30. Agan, thanks for any suggestions or comments! |
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| Author: | Divinitymagic [ Mon Jun 18, 2007 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
dude??? old man?? 30??... im 28 next week bro! im gonna be sarging well close to 40. What about Ross Jeffries... he is about a million years old... (sorry Ross). Like you admitted your not versed in the PUA stuff, i dare say if you were then you would have had it sorted by then. I think people underestimate the power of email and Text messaging to further a relationship. I text all my mates dates on thier behalf cause they are shit at it and can never getthe words down. I dunno, maybe taking it as a retraction, saying, hey, ok thanks its cool and still wanna be friends was the way to go, she did tell you that she had entertained the idea, and your right, she is going out to dinner and drinks with you for a reason. But atleast now she knows that your interested too. I hope you can recover from the, look i dont wanna be friend friend email. I would do it by saying to her in another email. "Look, sorry i jumped the gun on asking you out, i took a chance and what is life without chances? but i sure dont wanna ruin the friendship thing, so, how about dinner....as friends?" take it from there. |
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| Author: | LordGrin [ Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | hmmm |
well, i wud hav suggested some stuff from some guru, like maybe david deangelo or Style, but i'd agree with the smooth kinda dvice divinity gave u and im sure it'll work out fine and dude, ur not old. i mean even style is well in his 30s and ross is like in his early mid 40s or something and many guys on the forum are over 30 so dont consider urself old anyways, good luck man, and tell us what happened next PS: 1 tip wud giv is to not act needy and dont ever tell her that u like her bcoz the msg that u gave was enuf to let her no tha and if u tell her agen then u'll seem needy catcha later man |
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| Author: | porter [ Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the advice, guys. I'm an idiot with this stuff and it's pretty cool to have a place to discuss it and get help. Yeah, I don't really consider myself old. I saw a bunch of posts mentioning high school, so I figured in relation to the average age here, I'd be considered old. Obviously, I was wrong. So I guess all signs point to me playing off my no-friendship thing, huh? You think it's enough that I asked her out once to keep me from entering the pure friendship zone? It's been a while since the last time I was in the situation of a girl I want to date just wanting to be friends--and I'm pretty sure I had no clue how to handle it back then, too. |
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