PUA Forum :: Overcoming Guilt

Why am I feeling guilty? Is this old relationship issues coming back to haunt me? Is it that I am identifying with times in my past where I may have been on the other side and got my feelings hurt?

I am enjoying myself so much and things are so good. What do I do?

Still we are out having fun and we're not doing anything illegal. Basically, the asnwer is just be as honest and up front as you can be. Tell these women you are dating other girls when you first meet them, tell them you might settle down when you find the right one, but for now...

If you are upfront and honest with them from the point of meeting them. Then they know the score and it's not as big of a deal then. Your concious won't bother you as much.

Quote:

I totally agree with you on this. You are right that being upfront and honest is the best policy. Im sure that a lot of what Im feeling is from being hurt in the past. However, I dont think its necessary to say this immediately after meeting them. Sometimes its clearly implied, even sometimes from both sides. The times when it has been necessary for me to bring it up, the result has almost always been positive. It must just be an association I have with, or lots of us have, that makes us feel guilty.

Anyone with any NLP affirmations that would assist with this, please post.

On a side note, what does the acronym 'SNL' mean?

I am in the EXACT same predicament! Would this be a good way to envoke a little jealousy? I'm not talking intentionally hurting someone, but enough to make women really start chasing you?

I'm really stuck, and this has been an issue for me for a while!!

Author:	Trevino [ Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Overcoming Guilt
Okay, so I have been at this a while and have a lot of success thus far. I have met lots of wonderful women, created some great friendships, and had some of the most exciting sex in my life. Here's the problem...I am starting to feel guilty about all of this. I am really into NLP, not so much as a seduction tool, but as a overall self-help tool. One thing about NLP is the idea that 'you should always leave someone better than when you found them.' I really believe that. The problem is that I dont know that I always do that. I try to be honest with the women that I am with. I dont always say up front that I am dating multiple women or that I am not looking for anything serious. However, when it gets to that point, if its not implied or clear that both parties understand, I will address it. Why am I feeling guilty? Is this old relationship issues coming back to haunt me? Is it that I am identifying with times in my past where I may have been on the other side and got my feelings hurt? I am enjoying myself so much and things are so good. What do I do?

Author:	JSmooth [ Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Overcoming Guilt
Quote: Why am I feeling guilty? Is this old relationship issues coming back to haunt me? Is it that I am identifying with times in my past where I may have been on the other side and got my feelings hurt? I am enjoying myself so much and things are so good. What do I do? Wow, I've had those feelings a few times during all this. Especially, during the point where I had a few girls talking to me and getting SNLs. I think you're right in that we've been on the other side to this coin and been hurt. We anchor to that feeling and it sticks with us. Still we are out having fun and we're not doing anything illegal. Basically, the asnwer is just be as honest and up front as you can be. Tell these women you are dating other girls when you first meet them, tell them you might settle down when you find the right one, but for now... If you are upfront and honest with them from the point of meeting them. Then they know the score and it's not as big of a deal then. Your concious won't bother you as much.

Author:	KristallNachte [ Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:
As long as you're being honest, don't feel guilty. If the girl is hurt and stays with you that's because of her masochistic nature. If you truly believe its a problem with a specific girl, then make it clear again.

Author:	Trevino [ Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Overcoming Guilt
Quote: Still we are out having fun and we're not doing anything illegal. Basically, the asnwer is just be as honest and up front as you can be. Tell these women you are dating other girls when you first meet them, tell them you might settle down when you find the right one, but for now... If you are upfront and honest with them from the point of meeting them. Then they know the score and it's not as big of a deal then. Your concious won't bother you as much. I totally agree with you on this. You are right that being upfront and honest is the best policy. Im sure that a lot of what Im feeling is from being hurt in the past. However, I dont think its necessary to say this immediately after meeting them. Sometimes its clearly implied, even sometimes from both sides. The times when it has been necessary for me to bring it up, the result has almost always been positive. It must just be an association I have with, or lots of us have, that makes us feel guilty. Anyone with any NLP affirmations that would assist with this, please post. On a side note, what does the acronym 'SNL' mean?

Author:	JSmooth [ Wed Feb 11, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Overcoming Guilt
Quote: Quote: Still we are out having fun and we're not doing anything illegal. Basically, the asnwer is just be as honest and up front as you can be. Tell these women you are dating other girls when you first meet them, tell them you might settle down when you find the right one, but for now... If you are upfront and honest with them from the point of meeting them. Then they know the score and it's not as big of a deal then. Your concious won't bother you as much. I totally agree with you on this. You are right that being upfront and honest is the best policy. Im sure that a lot of what Im feeling is from being hurt in the past. However, I dont think its necessary to say this immediately after meeting them. Sometimes its clearly implied, even sometimes from both sides. The times when it has been necessary for me to bring it up, the result has almost always been positive. It must just be an association I have with, or lots of us have, that makes us feel guilty. Anyone with any NLP affirmations that would assist with this, please post. On a side note, what does the acronym 'SNL' mean? SNL = Same Night Lay or Single Night Lay or Saturday Night Live (LOL)

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Author:	Watermelon [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:14 am ]
Post subject:
Don't listen to that crap, if you have the power - use it! Or somebody else is going to use it and keep telling you how bad it is to exploit it. Seriously, exploit everything you can, otherwise lots of oppurtunities are missed.

Author:	C-Diesel [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 3:30 am ]
Post subject:
I am in the EXACT same predicament! Would this be a good way to envoke a little jealousy? I'm not talking intentionally hurting someone, but enough to make women really start chasing you? I'm really stuck, and this has been an issue for me for a while!!

Author:	Trevino [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I am in the EXACT same predicament! Would this be a good way to envoke a little jealousy? I'm not talking intentionally hurting someone, but enough to make women really start chasing you? I'm really stuck, and this has been an issue for me for a while!! Well I know that it will invoke jealousy whether you intend it to or not. I personally dont really believe in making someone jealous if you are already past initial attraction phase. To intentionally try to invoke jealousy after that point is just playing games. And for me, I dont want someone Im involved with to play games with me, so I try to avoid them as well. And if the only reason that someone is interested in being involved with you is because of jealousy and love games, that shit will continue and fester as long as that relationship is tolerable. (I say tolerable b/c eventually either party will have had enough) Now I can tell you from personal experience that with women that you havent really gotten to the attraction stage with, being with lots of other women definitely will bring some of them out of the woodwork. And that is due to changes in your frame, as well as changes in their perception of you. I have hooked up with many a women previously in the 'friend zone' when I had other women around a lot. Back to the guilt thing, I have decided my approach is to be more honest. There are plenty of women out there and I have plenty of choices. I would rather take the high road and move forward with a clear head and a clear conscience. And if one of them is looking for more and I am not ready to give more at that point, honesty will prevail and hopefully a friendship will be established or maintained.

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