PUA Forum :: Coffee Date tips and pointers?

I always try to encourage noobs to look into body language and NVC more. Only 7% of human communication is verbal.
Ill cover some quick (very) basic -
Lean back (goes without saying)
Hold the bottom of your coffee cup or w.e, dont gaurd yourself with it
Oreintation, dont face directly towards her, but dont face too far away obv. If shes 12, face at about 2 o clock lol.
As obvious and stupid as it sounds, smile. Cant stand those wanna be tuff guys clenchin their jaw all the fucking time.
For example if there are square tables, pick one where the seats are closest to each other, like not opposite each other, but the table makes a 90 degree angle between you (hard to explain sorry!). Makes compliancy tests easier, kino esc, and loadsa stuff.
Look for humor dude. Make her laugh. Coffee is borin. Chances are shes done it 1000 times before, so make it fun and unusual.

This was some overly basic stuff, not sure what level your at =/.

Author:	All-American [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Coffee Date tips and pointers?
I figured this should help a bunch of people here, including myself. Personally, I haven't been on a coffee date in a while, but will be on one in a few days (hopefully). In the areas of: -conversation topics/questions -kino/creating more attraction -how to wrap things up at the end (getting that "real date" if things go well/what type of date would I be looking at) -anything else I'm missing (other) Does anyone have any insight on how to ace this "intro date?"

Author:	All-American [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm sure this thread could help out several of us here. Sure, I posted it because I likely have a date there in a few days, but a coffee date setting is a rather common situation.

Author:	V1V [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:50 am ]
Post subject:
I always try to encourage noobs to look into body language and NVC more. Only 7% of human communication is verbal. Ill cover some quick (very) basic - Lean back (goes without saying) Hold the bottom of your coffee cup or w.e, dont gaurd yourself with it Oreintation, dont face directly towards her, but dont face too far away obv. If shes 12, face at about 2 o clock lol. As obvious and stupid as it sounds, smile. Cant stand those wanna be tuff guys clenchin their jaw all the fucking time. For example if there are square tables, pick one where the seats are closest to each other, like not opposite each other, but the table makes a 90 degree angle between you (hard to explain sorry!). Makes compliancy tests easier, kino esc, and loadsa stuff. Look for humor dude. Make her laugh. Coffee is borin. Chances are shes done it 1000 times before, so make it fun and unusual. This was some overly basic stuff, not sure what level your at =/.

Author:	All-American [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:31 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I always try to encourage noobs to look into body language and NVC more. Only 7% of human communication is verbal. Ill cover some quick (very) basic - Lean back (goes without saying) Hold the bottom of your coffee cup or w.e, dont gaurd yourself with it Oreintation, dont face directly towards her, but dont face too far away obv. If shes 12, face at about 2 o clock lol. As obvious and stupid as it sounds, smile. Cant stand those wanna be tuff guys clenchin their jaw all the fucking time. For example if there are square tables, pick one where the seats are closest to each other, like not opposite each other, but the table makes a 90 degree angle between you (hard to explain sorry!). Makes compliancy tests easier, kino esc, and loadsa stuff. Look for humor dude. Make her laugh. Coffee is borin. Chances are shes done it 1000 times before, so make it fun and unusual. This was some overly basic stuff, not sure what level your at =/. Thanks V1V. I bolded something I found to be a very good pointer. This date definitely is a common/popular choice - I like to take some risks, but I'll start taking them on the second date, I need a boost of positive momentum from the first date. My question would be...any ideas how to make it "unique?"

Author:	RTTastic [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:39 am ]
Post subject:
YOU make it unique. Seriously...topics of conversation, keeping her entertained, etc. I actually went on a "coffee date" not too long ago. We went for coffee, had good conversation, but the venue was spent, but neither of us wanted to part ways quite yet. So, we went walking around town. I don't know what kind of town you live in, but downtown in my town lends itself very well to wandering, talking, etc, even at night. It was a good date, not because of what we did, but because we both had a good time talking, joking, and getting to know eachother.

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Author:	All-American [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks. I should clarify that this "date" takes place between two of my classes (I gave some cushion though), so I don't really have the time to start walking around and such, even though it seems like a good idea. The campus is a bit more urban, so there isn't grass in most places. I feel if the conversation flows smoothly and we're both having a good time, then I can set up a REAL date. I may also want to look at some palm reading things, give some sort of funny analysis lol (for kino).

Author:	DannyDurden [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: YOU make it unique. Seriously...topics of conversation, keeping her entertained, etc. Nailed it. Make it an adventure. Kick back and have fun. I've had some of the funnest "dates" in the most unlikely places. Don't feel obligated to take her to some cliche hotspot all the time. I've had to sit in a waiting room for 30 minutes with a girl within the first couple dates and we had an absolute blast.

Author:	Impact [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:48 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I need a boost of positive momentum from the first date Dude huge no, i have a huge beef with this post! First of all you don't NEED anything! the second thing is that the best way to get the girl from a coffee date is to take her somewhere else immediately, especially if this is the first time you’ve met! Coffee dates are bad bad bad ideas, unless you know her a little or unless your extremely good! The fact that your seeking momentum probably means that your seeking rapport and validation in your game, dude from personal experience im reading this post and its not looking good for you. So do me a favour, just me and you talking here.. when you meet this girl, buy the coffee and go elsewhere.. you can take her back to the coffee shop later, but take her out and move around, talk to her, then kino escalate! take her to some store or place that has meaning to you and tell her why, and why it reminds you of something in the past, let her get to know you and tilt her head and make her think! at the end of the day dont expect anything, your just having fun its your adventure and shes along to buy you coffee or desert ! If you cant move around like you said its urban, man just take her around anyway just for 5 min, say you have to stretch your legs! tell her you’ll come back in 5 min with her and you guys can order a piece of cake or something.. but move the set!.. when your sitting with her, make sure your not facing each other, make her sit next to you, most of these coffee places have great lounges where you can both chill out! Keep it light, she already likes you, she wouldn’t put herself in this mess of awkwardness if she didn’t, just be cool and don't screw it up! Quote: YOU make it unique. Seriously...topics of conversation, keeping her entertained, etc. No! I don't really dig the about her part! This is well intended bad advice, especially to men as they interpret this totally differently! Dude, It's about you as a man, bringing the best sides out! Come from that mind frame not from the frame where you have to entertain her or do anything for her! It's your world, I hand you down a crown and a staff, its your reality! how does that work? how will you make sure its your reality not somene elses? thats where that other advice given of YOU making it unique comes in.

Author:	All-American [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Making an IMPACT! (pun intended). I do know her a bit already, so I have a starting-off point here. The reason I sound so iffy at the start of the thread is b/c I've been burned many times before without a whole lot of success, so it still looms. I do like your idea of moving the set, that's actually a good idea. It's supposed to be a little warmer later this week (it's < 20 degrees here today), so I can do that so long as I find a place to take her to - and not my room lol, as I have this "date" in between my classes.

Author:	Impact [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I do like your idea of moving the set, that's actually a good idea. It's supposed to be a little warmer later this week (it's < 20 degrees here today), so I can do that so long as I find a place to take her to - and not my room lol, as I have this "date" in between my classes.

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