PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Avoiding the friends zone
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37457		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sneeuwpop [ Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Avoiding the friends zone
Ok so here's the situation im in:

So there's this girl i've been seeing lately. I've seen her 3 times now, once i went out with some friends and met her and just danced with her.
Second time on new years eve, we ended up (drunk) in bed together and the third time was last weekend when I went over to her place and just talked some. On that same night I went out with some friends and we met her and her friends in some club. However, I barely paid attention to her, which i kinda regret, cause im starting to fall for this girl. The upside is that there weren't any awkward moments. After the club closed we talked for an hour or so and nothing happened.

So here's the thing, I really like her (might just be girlfriend material), and want to avoid ending up in the friends zone the next time i meet her, cause i have the feeling that'll be my last chance. I haven't spoken or texted her since that third night. So I have yet to ask her on a date or meet for drinks or something.

Thanks in advance :)
Author:  destrukkt [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:06 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you're too worried. it sounds like you had a good first two occasions with this girl, and the third time you just showed her that you're independent and there's more to you than just trying to hook up by paying attention to your friends also. However, since you did bed her already, and you want a relationship, I'd make sure she knew it wasn't a one night stand, and that there could be something more. For a 4th date I'd choose a serious dinner, something that takes you out of the friend zone, and don't bring your friends. and don't invite hers.
Author:  token25 [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:40 am ]
Post subject: 
"I haven't spoken or texted her since that third night. So I have yet to ask her on a date or meet for drinks or something. "

Don't. If you want the girl, she must game you. So make it appear that way. Putting her in the position as if she's interested in you makes her feel like she is interested in you. A persons physiology directly influences their psychology.

When you start to "fall" for someone your psychology or inner game changes. "Falling" is the act of an animal changing from "Attract a Mate" to "Take Care of a Mate"

Set Your Inner Game
Tell her you're going someplace and invite her. You're an intricate person which a lot of people find interesting, what's so special about her? She must qualify herself to you.

Keep the kino going and trace back to A2, work your way forward from there.
Author:  destrukkt [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Ha, did you read that directly from the book?

I agree that she must qualify herself, but you've already fucked her so you've pretty much qualified her for that area. Since you DO want to "take care of mate", from what i gather, call her. and then do what he and i both said. She may not be the kind of girl that chases, and if that's the case, the what above poster has said about not calling her just isn't going to work. every girl is different bro, you can't just follow the rules from a book, you have to assess the situation and figure what's right for it. but keep the core values of gaming in mind at all times. ya dig?
Author:  token25 [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I didn't read it from a book, but I do consider myself observant and logical. ;)

I wasn't conveying "don't call her" sorry for the misinterpretation. I was saying don't ask her on a date.... don't create an occasion around her, establish the occasion and give her the option. Less stressful for her, cooler for you(because heck, if she doesn't go, you still have plans..), and doesn't convey to much interest.

Your game should be based on her. You may be ready to "Take care of a mate" but is she ready to be "Taken care of?"
Author:  destrukkt [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Ah, that's good for first and second and maybe even third. If he want's to take it to the next level, not just casual hang outs and sex, he should make an occasion for her, to show that he's interested. Like i said, some girls are still a little old school and won't try and set up dates. ultimately, we're both right, depending on what kind of girl she is.

I like the way you think though. I'm just saying he's already established her and if he wants a girlfriend, make it more about her a little.
Author:  token25 [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:21 am ]
Post subject: 
I definitely agree,
if you move to fast, you may need to backtrack,

if a girl sleeps with a guy quickly and easily its not her sex that wins her, but entirely her psychology.

I like Mystery's 7-10 hour rule.
Author:  Sneeuwpop [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
About that "she has to game me", im pretty sure that's not going to work on her.
I don't know about the "im going to some place and you could come with me" either. It seems a bit uncaring and there's alot of opportunity for her to reject the 'open' invitation, or, worse than that, won't see me as interested in her as i want her to believe.
Since this will be the first time i'm just with her alone in a public location, dinner might seem a bit weird. I think i'll just ask her to join me for a drink in a nice bar and try to focus on some kino and getting close to her.
Author:  destrukkt [ Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Sounds good, a bar would be a cool place to get to know her better, without being TOO intimate. Remember, you can become over saturated with what the mystery method teaches you. there's a score of different ways to seduce a girl. and i completely disagree with mystery's time line. seduction starts from the moment you meet someone. and there are different kinds of seductions for each woman.

p.s. pay for her fucking drinks, no matter what some of these guys will tell you. That would definitely put you in the friend zone. Besides that you will appear cheap. I don't know who the fuck made that rule up, but it's a stupid one.
Author:  Sneeuwpop [ Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah i don't want to start off too intimate. However, i have to show her that i'd like to be more than friends.
I can make girls comfortable and talk all night, but i often fail at getting intimate. So i gotta work on that, especially when i'm at a bar just sitting down with her, i mean, where do you start?

As for the drinks, in this case, i strongly agree with you. Splitting the costs at such an occassion would probably just add points to the friends zone.
Author:  destrukkt [ Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Absolutely. Getting sexual. I've never really had this problem since i have such a sexual nature. Which is good and bad. Good because i make girls think about and want sex, but bad because generally that's all they want from me.

Don't be vulgar or anything. But as you two start drinking, escalate kino. let her know this is more than two friends having drinks. If possible, and if you're good at it, lead the conversation TO sex. Not necessarily between the two of you, but just get her thinking about it. In a good way, of course.

Be VERY perceptive of her body language, as well. That's usually the first thing to change when a girl wants to be sexual with you. And with YOUR body language, you do the same. But be subtle, don't just say "what do you think about sex?" Haha, obvious, but you can never be to clear with your advice.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/