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Scenario:getting gunned down for sticking to principles?
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Author:  AceofSpades07 [ Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Scenario:getting gunned down for sticking to principles?

Heres the scenario that this question comes from.

Make an approach in a crowded night club and start convo with an hb9. (id like to point out that she was completly my type, im a sucker for red heads, and seemed like a very very sweet girl). I was doing really well, reached the hook point and was getting IOIs when we just both happened to finish our drinks at the same time and i suggested that we go towards the bar.

Heres where the problem starts. It wasreally loud and crowded so i ordered drinks for the both of us cause i had a spot to get into the bar. I through money out to pay for my drink and tried to imply that she should do the same. As you can guess it didnt go so well and i had too make thecall so i said really outright and bluntly "im not paying for your drink you know." She kind of reacted and looked at me but not in a bitchy way so i delivered a follow up "What do i have to pay to be having this conversation with you?' O fuckin shit. there was no coming back from that one.

HB: Your a fucking asshole you know that? WTF? How old are you?
ACE:uh 22. (stupid move i know but at this point i think i had already lost control of the situation)
HB:Yea it figures, well im sorry but im 27 and have a job and can pay for my own drinks jerk. She throws money on the bar for her drink and leaves without her drink.

I tried to get her to take it and said i was sorry for ruining her night. (Very AFC i know but i actually sincerly was feeling kinda bad for being a dick).
So the follow up questions cause i want to take everyrthing as a learning experience.
How do you get her to pay for herself without being an asshole?

How firmly should you stick to your guns on tech. things like buying drinks? How often should youmake exceptions, if any?

Im sry about the length but wanted to be accurate in the details. Any and all feedback is really appreciated.

Author:  practice [ Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

I don't know maybe it was a bit direct to throw two negs in a row, I think if its crowded and you happened to have gotten there first, you should have maybe conceded on the second part, something like this:

you: im not paying for your drink you know
HP9: looks startled
you (smile): ok ok I'll get this round but you owe me the next one

sometimes you have to concede if a neg is reacted to strongly, your first neg was very blunt, so following it up with buying a drink is just taking a step forward and kind of lightening the mood at that time.

I guess I look at it kind of like my buddies, if my friends were at the bar and it was really crowded, I'd buy their round in this case and have em get the next one, just cause its more convenient (plus you can get back to conversation quicker), they in turn, get the next round for me. I treat chicks like I would my friends in these cases, just do what you would naturally do, don't make the game completely change your behavior if its completely unnatural.

Anyways that's my opinion.

Author:  Philly B [ Sun Jan 04, 2009 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

I agree, the only thing I could think of in that situation is by using a lil cocky funny to tell her she's got the next round, and being less blunt.

Author:  Blanc [ Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

you could have done the i get this round and you get next like they said BUT with the 5 lies game leading to that with a drink as bet.

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