PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Adversity...what's the best way to stay comfortable?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=34763		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  All-American [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Adversity...what's the best way to stay comfortable?
I unknowingly performed a self-experiment during this semester and, when I come to think of it, the results are quite telling...

...I shared two discussion-sized classes with a girl I like:
- The first class wasn't a good environment for me. I talked to people as usual, but there was never any real connection. I worked with another girl on our projects...she would up throwing a big "hissy fit" (not in front of anyone in class) because of her own frustrations - it seemed working in pairs all semester would atleast generate compatibility and a friendship, I guess not. Then, when I spoke to the girl I like in class, it sometimes seemed a bit forced, even though when we were more isolated we were clicking as usual.
- The second class was a great environment for me. I knew a lot of people in the class beforehand from other activities/classes, and I instantly clicked with any new faces I met. There were no projects in this class, but some of us would always talk a bit after class. Then, when I spoke to the girl I like, it seemed so easy; we could talk/joke/laugh for quite awhile very comfortably, no matter who was around.

What does this show? It shows that I have a little problem dealing with this sort of adversity. When things are going favorably, I do pretty well. When things are going unfavorably, then I, for whatever reason, plunge into a tailspin. I don't know how girls can tell, but it seems they know when you feel comfortable and when you feel uneasy even if you don't say a word. My question...how do you find comfort when in unfriendly or unaccommodating surroundings?
Author:  Peng [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I get the same issues sometimes, not so much nowadays - Put yourself in unconfortable or unaccomodating situations/places as you say. Conquer unfirmiliar environments.
Author:  All-American [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I get the same issues sometimes, not so much nowadays - Put yourself in unconfortable or unaccomodating situations/places as you say. Conquer unfirmiliar environments.
While throwing myself into uncomfortable situations will eventually help me tame them (I would think), I like to be "on my game" as often as possible. Are there any things to keep in mind when I do enter an uncomfortable or unaccommodating situation, so I have a gameplan beforehand?

For the time being, the main focus of this is indeed b/c of a girl I am interested in. However, this theme exists in a lot of situations I'm in, whether it's with how I do in classes, job interviews, jobs themselves, and where I hang out with friends. When I feel good about my surroundings and there is a positive vibe/SPAM, I do very well. On the contrary, when I don't feel so good about my surroundings and there is a negative vibe/SPAM in my mind, then I don't do quite as well.
Author:  Peng [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
take people with you, that you are comfortable to be yourself around. this will make you more comfortable in the surroundings, more people will see you as alpha, and you will click with more people, adding more people to the comfort zone. if i know im going somewhere that i might feel uncomfortable, i ensure ive got people around me that i am comfortable around.
Author:  All-American [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's a good tip. Going anywhere with friends makes us more comfortable, so that works.

In the example I provided in the first post, I had been in classes where this arises ("day game" so to speak). When these cases arise, I'm probably on my own, except for maybe an acquaintance or two I can momentarily talk to. In these situations, it's a little bit different.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/