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Trouble Warming Up?
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Author:  grovecityfan [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Trouble Warming Up?

Hey, I'm pretty new to this forum, and I've got a question about warming up to a large social gathering (parties, ice skating rinks, concerts, etc...)

I've always considered myself pretty naturally outgoing and capable of leading groups relatively well, but the main problem I have is coming out of my shell. When I first arrive at a party, or one of the venues mentioned above, I have a lot of trouble engaging girls in a routine. I have approach anxiety for about the first hour of the party, but after that, something clicks. I become outgoing and funny, and can do routines well. Unfortunately to get to this point I have to go through an hour of pure hell and humiliation.

How can I become more comfortable with the social situation, without having to feel like shit for the first hour or so?

Author:  Stygian [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

The way I find tackles AA or whatever you wanna call it is this: Every time I have approached, regardless of the outcome I feel great afterward because I know I'm pumped enough by that point to keep approaching all day. And pretty much the entire day after approaching I will be in a great mood. This is as true when I get blown out as it is when I close, so if I feel like shit to begin with I simply charge through all the mental blocks stopping me from approaching and force myself to do it because I know it will get me in a great mood.

Another method that works is having a friend hold something hostage until you approach; when Solomon and I do day game we have to get a bus to the city so he keeps both tickets home until I approach, and if I approach before him I take the tickets. Nobody gets to go home until we have approached, you don't have to use a bus ticket, you can use your cigarettes if you're a smoker, or you can simply use money. whatever the hostage, the method works great and a lot of the time you may even find you will be approaching more even before you get the hostage back.

Author:  Stormy [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Start unstifling the second you walk in. Clap your hands and yell "Woo! Time to party!" or something. The more inappropriate this is, the funnier it is. Dance around a little bit.

Don't do this for a reaction; do it to get yourself into party mode, and also to let everyone else around you know that it's okay to cut loose and have fun. Set the tone for the people around you. Bring the party.

In this way, you're not just unstifling yourself. You're unstifling everyone.

Author:  PonyBoy [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
The way I find tackles AA or whatever you wanna call it is this: Every time I have approached, regardless of the outcome I feel great afterward because I know I'm pumped enough by that point to keep approaching all day. And pretty much the entire day after approaching I will be in a great mood. This is as true when I get blown out as it is when I close, so if I feel like shit to begin with I simply charge through all the mental blocks stopping me from approaching and force myself to do it because I know it will get me in a great mood.

Another method that works is having a friend hold something hostage until you approach; when Solomon and I do day game we have to get a bus to the city so he keeps both tickets home until I approach, and if I approach before him I take the tickets. Nobody gets to go home until we have approached, you don't have to use a bus ticket, you can use your cigarettes if you're a smoker, or you can simply use money. whatever the hostage, the method works great and a lot of the time you may even find you will be approaching more even before you get the hostage back.
Listen carefully to this man. When you walk into that party IMMEDIATELY go and open a set. Don't worry if you get blown out or run out of things to say or anything else, this is just a practice set to get pumped up and calm your nerves.
Holding something hostage is a genius idea also, I mean I'd trade opening some girls to not have to walk home wouldn't you? ha

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