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Evening gentlemen
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=34015		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  bigdave87 [ Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Evening gentlemen
Hey there guys I know this is the wrong forum but I thought I might get some more views on here. My name is David and I'm 21 from London England. Growing up I was useless with girls as I looked like an overgrown Harry Potter. When I was 17 I ditched the specs, changed the hair and instead of just being the funny kid I was suddenly the good looking, funny and popular kid (I'm not being cocky just trying to get my point across). However even now I struggle to come to terms with some of the attention I get. Now I'm not horrendous with girls or anything just I find it so hard to make the first move. Tbh I do get hit on a fair bit but never by the fit girls or the HB's, always the chavvy, slutty ones or in few of my exes cases, the crazy ones.

One big problem is at Uni and work people seem to think I'm this big player. I'm not. I do get attention but I can never act on it right or it's the wrong girl. I read The Game and last year it served me fairly well but now I'm back to square one again. I don't feel confident approaching girls with my normal friends and the lads I tried a bit of sarging with last year have either moved away or are not interested anymore. I consider myself to be quite funny, flirty but just awful at signs. Let me give you an example

Anyone from the London/Essex region of England would have heard of a club called Faces. I went there with a fairly large group and on the dancefloor kept catching eyes with what I would consider an HB 8.5 maybe. She moved a bit closer and danced near me but I did nothing. I mean it wasn't strikingly obvious but you get the idea. The night went on and still I did nothing. I just felt a bit lost and for the life of me how do I change this situation. I even got a final big smile/stare in the cloakroom queue but all I did was glance and smile back. This happens a fair bit in clubs but always the same result, me being a douche. I don't like the idea of grinding them from behind, don't know why but I find it a tad disrespectful. So what do I say/do.

All the best lads

David
Author:  All-American [ Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Most of this thread seems to be about your frustrations in a club setting. You're also a college student. As a college student myself, I say stick to things you're comfortable with.

I can't get into clubs b/c I'm not 21 yet, but I do go to some keggers on the weekends (too bad my Uni doesn't have a ton of parties). Anyway, I enjoy letting loose and flirting with girls (and if things work well getting a number or something like that), but I don't get all that drunk and won't harass a girl just to get with her. I feel more comfortable talking to girls in my classes, in extra-cirrciular activities and just around campus (I think it's called day game). You seem like a pretty smart guy, and "day game" works towards the smarter guy and against the "dumber, stereotypical frat guy."

However, if you get a smile or a girl comes up to you or w/e, go along with it and don't be scared to approach or keep things going.
Author:  Gander [ Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You seem like a pretty smart guy, and "day game" works towards the smarter guy and against the "dumber, stereotypical frat guy."
Hey now.. I'm a frat guy :wink: no where near stupid either if I do say so haha and yes it is called day game.

anyways besides the point. You just have a severe case of Approach Anxiety and I'm not going to speak for everyone but I know I did too. You just need to get over it and do it. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" so you're already counting yourself out with her.

You say you get a lot of looks, that's a good thing. Don't be self-conscious about it. It's a good thing.

As for what to say, you just need to find what style fits you. Just get a pretty simple routine or opener. Don't rehearse it too much, however, or you'll just think too much. Go up with confidence and opener her. Then show her you're not just the typical guy who's she's used to talking to. There are plenty of post on here about what to say. Just read up.

Go out and do it. Don't sit and think about it and let the butterflies twitterfuck you. The worst (hopefully :wink: ) thing that can happen is she's not interested in you and that's not terrible since you can always learn from your mistakes.

Get out there man!
Author:  Jay1987 [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:31 am ]
Post subject: 
HAHAHA... im a frat guy to and i totally agree. This is approach anxiety and though i haven't always been the one to initiate groups i'm still the life of the party ;-) if you see her checking you out at a club give her a grin and a solid wink then go up and open her. Who gives a fuck what she says!! if she says no you in a club with 100's of woman and you can go open them. I joined the PUA community not to get girls but to be the guy that talks to everyone and for the past couple of months (before i joined this site) i have been and maybe thats all you need :-) if your attractive and social you will have girls opening you all the time... tell me about a boost to your ego :-)... go out and have fun
Author:  Stormy [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Evening gentlemen
Quote:
Tbh I do get hit on a fair bit but never by the fit girls or the HB's, always the chavvy, slutty ones or in few of my exes cases, the crazy ones.
I think I've identified a problem right here. Eliminate the word "slut" from your vocabulary. Judging girls for doing the sex is NOT COOL. This judgmental vibe will carry over to all of your interactions, and girls will be less interested in sleeping with you, or even afraid to, because they'll be afraid of you judging them for it. They may be attracted to you, and WANT to sleep with you, but they'll be scared of what you'll think of them afterwards, so you'll catch loads of LMR if you actually manage to get them all the way to bed.

Girls want to get laid. They do not want to be judged for it. Girls are very sensitive about their social standing, and "sluts" are considered lower than WBAFCs in the social totem pole. If a girl thinks that you'll judge her as slutty for sleeping with you, she'll put on a nice-girl front and you'll have to trudge through a relationship/courting frame in order to get busy with her. And you don't want that, do you?

...by the way, I've never been to the UK, but are chavettes really that bad? I think Lady Sovereign is cute.
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