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Another guy in the picture, help please!!!
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Author:  adam.a.h [ Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Another guy in the picture, help please!!!
So theres this other guy, who also has a crush on this girl like me. He buys her stuff and seems to be on great terms with her, what should i do?

help please!
Author:  TheLibra [ Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
She probably is on good terms with him cuz he buys her stuff lol. He's an AFC and will probably end up in the friend zone. Dont buy her stuff and try to compete with him that way. Him buying her stuff is him submitting, or becoming the beta male. You need to make her feel like she has to work for you, not you two compete over her. Be confident, do some C&F stuff, and be willing to walk away. If she says shes hangin with him one day, act like you could careless. Let her see you with other females. O and if she talks shit or complains to you about the other guy, do not, i repeat DO NOT, bash him or join her in making fun. And what ever you do, do not be her therapist.Ex of possible shit test she could use.

Her " {Other guy} is so clingy, he wants to hang out all the time."

You" C'mon, Im sure he's not that bad is he"

Her" Oh yea he is, the other day blah blah blah"

And now she is admitting all his faults and thinking more about why she doesnt like him. Most guys would make the mistake of joining in and bashin him. Dont. Let her do it all.
Author:  RR [ Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She probably is on good terms with him cuz he buys her stuff lol. He's an AFC and will probably end up in the friend zone. Dont buy her stuff and try to compete with him that way. Him buying her stuff is him submitting, or becoming the beta male. You need to make her feel like she has to work for you, not you two compete over her. Be confident, do some C&F stuff, and be willing to walk away. If she says shes hangin with him one day, act like you could careless. Let her see you with other females. O and if she talks shit or complains to you about the other guy, do not, i repeat DO NOT, bash him or join her in making fun. And what ever you do, do not be her therapist.Ex of possible shit test she could use.

Her " {Other guy} is so clingy, he wants to hang out all the time."

You" C'mon, Im sure he's not that bad is he"

Her" Oh yea he is, the other day blah blah blah"

And now she is admitting all his faults and thinking more about why she doesnt like him. Most guys would make the mistake of joining in and bashin him. Dont. Let her do it all.
I agree completely on not bashing her friends. (Basic reverse psychology) But I would point out that maybe he is JUST a good friend. i.e. Are you absolutely sure he's got a crush on her? It's only supplicating if he's hoping that all the gifts will lead somewhere.

To use the obvious example about buying a girl a drink. Yes, don't let that be an opener. (Supplication) But after you've been talking for 2 hours why not buy her a drink. Not going to break the bank and its a nice (arghh! :lol: ) thing to do. Better still use Kezia's routine of giving her the money and making her go and get the drinks. 8)
Author:  adam.a.h [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Alright thanks again, but I'm a bit confused about one thing you said TheLibra. You stated "what ever you do, do not be her therapist." Can you explain the reasoning behind this? I've always found that girls like to vent out their issues to me and I just let them talk. I certainly wouldn't bash the other guy, but I would at least let them talk about their issues. I felt that it kinda helped the bonding since they kinda have to open up..
Author:  adam.a.h [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
She probably is on good terms with him cuz he buys her stuff lol. He's an AFC and will probably end up in the friend zone. Dont buy her stuff and try to compete with him that way. Him buying her stuff is him submitting, or becoming the beta male. You need to make her feel like she has to work for you, not you two compete over her. Be confident, do some C&F stuff, and be willing to walk away. If she says shes hangin with him one day, act like you could careless. Let her see you with other females. O and if she talks shit or complains to you about the other guy, do not, i repeat DO NOT, bash him or join her in making fun. And what ever you do, do not be her therapist.Ex of possible shit test she could use.

Her " {Other guy} is so clingy, he wants to hang out all the time."

You" C'mon, Im sure he's not that bad is he"

Her" Oh yea he is, the other day blah blah blah"

And now she is admitting all his faults and thinking more about why she doesnt like him. Most guys would make the mistake of joining in and bashin him. Dont. Let her do it all.
I agree completely on not bashing her friends. (Basic reverse psychology) But I would point out that maybe he is JUST a good friend. i.e. Are you absolutely sure he's got a crush on her? It's only supplicating if he's hoping that all the gifts will lead somewhere.

To use the obvious example about buying a girl a drink. Yes, don't let that be an opener. (Supplication) But after you've been talking for 2 hours why not buy her a drink. Not going to break the bank and its a nice (arghh! :lol: ) thing to do. Better still use Kezia's routine of giving her the money and making her go and get the drinks. 8)
he does have a crush on her, she told me he sent her a crush letter, and he always buys her stuff and is so clingy she tells me that, sometimes i reply with give him chance he aint that bad...etc sometimes i agreed but now i know that i should NEVER agree again!
Author:  Plethora [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:24 am ]
Post subject: 
He's a provider. He's the guy that every woman wants to have around, but has no attraction towards what-so-ever.

You need to be the complete opposite, the friendly jerk, as it were. Challenge her, push her away, tease her, keep her wanting more and more of you. She doesn't want this guy, he is just a lovable loser, supplicating to hopefully gain approval. Let this girl know that she should be kissing your ass, and she will want you.

If she mentions him, change the subject immediately. You can still be 'nice' to her, but you should not be that 'nice guy' who is giving advice, trying to be helpful, and putting her on a pedestal. There is nothing in this situation that is stopping you from getting her. Make your self a challenge, and use your best game, it will work out.
Author:  adam.a.h [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
He's a provider. He's the guy that every woman wants to have around, but has no attraction towards what-so-ever.

You need to be the complete opposite, the friendly jerk, as it were. Challenge her, push her away, tease her, keep her wanting more and more of you. She doesn't want this guy, he is just a lovable loser, supplicating to hopefully gain approval. Let this girl know that she should be kissing your ass, and she will want you.

If she mentions him, change the subject immediately. You can still be 'nice' to her, but you should not be that 'nice guy' who is giving advice, trying to be helpful, and putting her on a pedestal. There is nothing in this situation that is stopping you from getting her. Make your self a challenge, and use your best game, it will work out.
Thanks Plethora, but i have a question on that, you said :

You can still be 'nice' to her, but you should not be that 'nice guy' who is giving advice, trying to be helpful, and putting her on a pedestal.

i did in past couple times give advice but il stop that for sure now, what do you recommend me saying? if shes like for examplehe does this and did that and then she laughs about it, should ilaugh or say what exactly, like lets say she says omg (him) is soo retarded and pathetic hes wasting his money!!!! what should i say?
Author:  TheLibra [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Alright thanks again, but I'm a bit confused about one thing you said TheLibra. You stated "what ever you do, do not be her therapist." Can you explain the reasoning behind this? I've always found that girls like to vent out their issues to me and I just let them talk. I certainly wouldn't bash the other guy, but I would at least let them talk about their issues. I felt that it kinda helped the bonding since they kinda have to open up..

Of all those girls that you found liked you being their therapist, how many of them did you end up sleeping with? Until you've had sex with her do not be her therapist or try and figure out her problems. Why? Because doing this we'll put you in the friend zone. Most guys think if they listen to a girl vent and try to help with her problems they will get sex in return, that this will attract the girl. WRONG WRONG WRONG. This is a common AFC mistake. R u one of her girlfriends? No, of course your not. But by trying to help her solve her problems and being her therapist she asscoiates that with her girlfriends, i.e. friends nothing more. Thats when she start to think of you like"aww, that guy is a sweetheart is always listen to me, hes such a good friend" and only a friend at that,U dont want this.
U lose your edge, your alphaness, and some of your manliness. Until you have had sex with her, dont give therapy lessons. Good luck Brah!
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