PUA Forum :: How to stop caring

Can you explain briefly what you define as abundance mentality?

gah you beat me to it chief... damn

Abundance meaning- a more than plentiful quantity of something.

So basically if you adopt the mentality that "there are 4.5 billion women out there, why do I need to set my sights on one?" The "I dont need women to make me happy" also works well.

I would just continue to get numbers and follow up on them so if something happens between you and a girl.... no big deal you have 20 other women to call, thus no woman is a "big deal" to you.

Quote:

I understand what you are saying but what if you have a girlfriend and for whatever reason things seem too serious. And you feel like every decisions, interaction, whatever carries so much weight. I have never felt this way before. I dont know if there is something wrong with me or what?

I would start by meditating 15-30 minutes a day so you can start to control your mind. We as a western culture have competely disregarded one of the most important things to our health and vitality. That is our mind. We take care of our bodies (the few who do) and we try to take care of how we see things but we never actually take care of our mind.

By meditating, you can start to detach yourself from your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You can control your thoughts and emotions but you have to be able to detach from the incessent stream of thought. When you consciously control where your thought moves you have power. When your thought control you, you are insane.

Start by meditating everyday for a few weeks. Even if you think it's not working it is. It takes time. There is no faster method to achieving seperation from your mind. The mind is a wonderful tool but also a terrible disease when left unchecked. If you want to learn more about detaching from the fake you (thought) and becoming in touch with the real you, then read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

Then you will realize we don't seek the end result. Life is about enjoying the journey and knowing the end result will be what it is as long as we are happy.

Quote:

Can you give me some tips on meditation? I have never really meditated before and dont really know how to go about it.

Thanks

Author:	Trevino [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:	How to stop caring
Okay, I know a lot of you guys are in school and some of you guys are probably further along and into your careers. Im sure we all do different things and all have different hobbies, views, etc. I know that one of the keys to PUA is the art of 'not caring' about some things (or at least appearing that way). My question is this, I am in a career where I have to care about everything. I have to think and analyze everything. I have to think about plans, actions, repercussions, etc. So how do I turn that off when it comes to my personal life? How do I come down from that and just not care about my interactions with a girlfriend or just some girl Im dating? How do you turn off the caring?

Author:	Chief [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:56 pm ]
Post subject:
I think you are confusing care with attachment. Care has its roots in compassion whereas attachment has its roots in ego and the illusion of separation. Adopting an abundance mentality is the first thing you need to do to begin practicing non-attachment. Max Weiss's book "The Zen of Meeting Women" probably explains this better than I can.

Author:	Trevino [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Can you explain briefly what you define as abundance mentality?

Author:	Chief [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Can you explain briefly what you define as abundance mentality? Yeah - basically it's really understanding and feeling the reality of "there are plenty of fish in the sea." When you are looking at things from a scarcity mentality, you are only allowing yourself to see just a few fish, and your perception of reality is telling you "these are the only fish you can catch." Expanding your perspective to an abundance mentality helps you realize that you don't NEED to catch this one fish. It's OK if you "fuck up" because all that does is make you learn from your mistakes. Meditation helps out a lot to adopt this mentality.

Author:	RISEOFNATIONSFRK [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:
gah you beat me to it chief... damn Abundance meaning- a more than plentiful quantity of something. So basically if you adopt the mentality that "there are 4.5 billion women out there, why do I need to set my sights on one?" The "I dont need women to make me happy" also works well. I would just continue to get numbers and follow up on them so if something happens between you and a girl.... no big deal you have 20 other women to call, thus no woman is a "big deal" to you.

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Author:	Trevino [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: gah you beat me to it chief... damn Abundance meaning- a more than plentiful quantity of something. So basically if you adopt the mentality that "there are 4.5 billion women out there, why do I need to set my sights on one?" The "I dont need women to make me happy" also works well. I would just continue to get numbers and follow up on them so if something happens between you and a girl.... no big deal you have 20 other women to call, thus no woman is a "big deal" to you. I understand what you are saying but what if you have a girlfriend and for whatever reason things seem too serious. And you feel like every decisions, interaction, whatever carries so much weight. I have never felt this way before. I dont know if there is something wrong with me or what?

Author:	Chief [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: gah you beat me to it chief... damn Abundance meaning- a more than plentiful quantity of something. So basically if you adopt the mentality that "there are 4.5 billion women out there, why do I need to set my sights on one?" The "I dont need women to make me happy" also works well. I would just continue to get numbers and follow up on them so if something happens between you and a girl.... no big deal you have 20 other women to call, thus no woman is a "big deal" to you. I understand what you are saying but what if you have a girlfriend and for whatever reason things seem too serious. And you feel like every decisions, interaction, whatever carries so much weight. I have never felt this way before. I dont know if there is something wrong with me or what? You should still explore the concept of nonattachment.

Author:	Chanc3 [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:
I would start by meditating 15-30 minutes a day so you can start to control your mind. We as a western culture have competely disregarded one of the most important things to our health and vitality. That is our mind. We take care of our bodies (the few who do) and we try to take care of how we see things but we never actually take care of our mind. By meditating, you can start to detach yourself from your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You can control your thoughts and emotions but you have to be able to detach from the incessent stream of thought. When you consciously control where your thought moves you have power. When your thought control you, you are insane. Start by meditating everyday for a few weeks. Even if you think it's not working it is. It takes time. There is no faster method to achieving seperation from your mind. The mind is a wonderful tool but also a terrible disease when left unchecked. If you want to learn more about detaching from the fake you (thought) and becoming in touch with the real you, then read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Then you will realize we don't seek the end result. Life is about enjoying the journey and knowing the end result will be what it is as long as we are happy.

Author:	Trevino [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I would start by meditating 15-30 minutes a day so you can start to control your mind. We as a western culture have competely disregarded one of the most important things to our health and vitality. That is our mind. We take care of our bodies (the few who do) and we try to take care of how we see things but we never actually take care of our mind. By meditating, you can start to detach yourself from your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You can control your thoughts and emotions but you have to be able to detach from the incessent stream of thought. When you consciously control where your thought moves you have power. When your thought control you, you are insane. Start by meditating everyday for a few weeks. Even if you think it's not working it is. It takes time. There is no faster method to achieving seperation from your mind. The mind is a wonderful tool but also a terrible disease when left unchecked. If you want to learn more about detaching from the fake you (thought) and becoming in touch with the real you, then read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Then you will realize we don't seek the end result. Life is about enjoying the journey and knowing the end result will be what it is as long as we are happy. Can you give me some tips on meditation? I have never really meditated before and dont really know how to go about it. Thanks

Author:	Chief [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I would start by meditating 15-30 minutes a day so you can start to control your mind. We as a western culture have competely disregarded one of the most important things to our health and vitality. That is our mind. We take care of our bodies (the few who do) and we try to take care of how we see things but we never actually take care of our mind. By meditating, you can start to detach yourself from your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You can control your thoughts and emotions but you have to be able to detach from the incessent stream of thought. When you consciously control where your thought moves you have power. When your thought control you, you are insane. Start by meditating everyday for a few weeks. Even if you think it's not working it is. It takes time. There is no faster method to achieving seperation from your mind. The mind is a wonderful tool but also a terrible disease when left unchecked. If you want to learn more about detaching from the fake you (thought) and becoming in touch with the real you, then read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Then you will realize we don't seek the end result. Life is about enjoying the journey and knowing the end result will be what it is as long as we are happy. Can you give me some tips on meditation? I have never really meditated before and dont really know how to go about it. Thanks Check it out: http://www.mro.org/zmm/teachings/meditation.php If I were you I'd start off with meditating just 5 minutes a day without skipping a single day. When you feel like you're ready, just progressively increase the time if you want to.

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