if you don't someone else will.
i posted this whole routine just because I like it soo much but the part im placing emphesis on is when he settles things into a more serious tone I will put it in bold
MSN GROUP: Mystery's Lounge
SUBJECT: Zan's Cocky Funny Waitress Technique
AUTHOR: Zan
One thing I have going for me is that I am fearless around women. My method
is very simple. Every single thing a girl says or does to me is an IOI. Period.
She wants me. It doesn't matter who she is. And when you believe that, they
start to believe it too.
I am a slave to my love of women. They can sense it. The weakness of
women is language and words. Fortunately, that is one of my strong points. If
they try to repel my advances, I act like they are from Mars and what they are
saying doesn't make any sense.
I never try to defend myself or apologize for being a womanizer. Why?
Because a reputation is attractive to women. It's true. I am the other man who
guys worry about when they marry a girl.
So with that in mind, I'd like to share with you today my patented cocky
funny waitress technique:
Usually when a group of guys is confronted with a new and devastatingly
pretty waitress, they stare at her ass when she walks by, then talk about her behind
her back. But when she comes to their table, they become downright courteous
and nice and act like they are not interested in her.
Instead, I go cocky funny immediately. I am going to be very detailed in
my description of what I do because I think some guys don't really understand
cocky funny role-playing.
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When I see her conning toward us, I immediately engage a buddy across
the table in seemingly deep conversation. I make sure to face my body away
from her.
When she comes up and asks us what we would like to drink, I ignore her
for a few seconds or so. Then I glance in her direction and pretend I am just
now seeing her for the very first time. Immediately, I show great interest in
her—as if she were a new discovery. I glance quickly at her body, just long
enough for her to notice, then turn myself fully around to face her. A big smile
and a wink, and the game begins.
HER: What can I get for you?
ZAN: [Ignoring the question] Hello, I haven't seen you around before.
What's your name?
HER: My name is Stephanie. What's yours?
ZAN: I'm Zan. And I will have a gin and tonic. (Big smile)
So far I've broken the ice a bit and, by exchanging names, she has given me
the implicit right to be more familiar with her. So the next time she comes
around, I smile and wink again.
ZAN: You again? Wow, you sure like to hang around us, don't you?
HER: [Laughs] (some stuff)
ZAN: (Some other stuff)
HER: (Some other stuff)
ZAN: (As she is leaving) I bet you'll come back again real soon. I can see
it in your eyes.
HER: (Smiling) Yeah, I can't resist.
Now I have established a cocky funny theme—her wanting to hang around us
and that is why she keeps coming back to our table. Of course, she has to
come back to our table: She's the waitress. And when she does, I smile at her
and give the other guys a knowing look in front of her as if to say, "See, I was
right." All along, I strive to make the interaction come off like I have known her
for a long time. This establishes a level of familiarity that usually takes several
meetings to build.
So now, after a while, I will say something like:
HER: Can I get you another drink?
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ZAN: (Smile, wink) You know what? You're kinda cute. I think I'm going to
call you.
HER: You think so, huh? You don't have my number.
ZAN: Why, you're right! Okay, tell me and I will write it down.
HER: [Smiling) Not a good idea. I have a boyfriend.
ZAN: (Pretending to write) Whoa, slow down. I didn't quite catch your
number there. You better repeat it for me. Let's see . . . 555 . . .
HER: (Laughs and rolls her eyes)
The absurdity of this exchange is that there is no way she is going to give me
her phone number in front of a bunch of my friends. No girl would. But her digits
are not the goal just yet.
Now she and I have a rapport, in a manner of speaking. And I've made
myself memorable enough that the next night we go there, she'll recognize me.
This way, I can walk up, put my arm around her, and continue with my usual
"You would make a good girlfriend for me" talk. And since everything is said in
a half-joking manner, she doesn't know if I'm really hitting on her or if I'm just
fooling around. So when I return:
HER: (Laughing) Oh no! Not you again!
ZAN: Stephanie, my sweet! Hey, listen, sorry I didn't return your call last
night. You know how it is. I'm just a busy guy.
HER: (Playing along) Yeah, I'm really mad about that.
This gets the whole table laughing, including her. And it's back on again for the
evening.
Later:
ZAN: You know what, Stephanie. You're a terrible girlfriend. In fact, I can't
even remember the last time we had sex. That's it. We're through.
ZAN: (Pointing to another waitress) She's going to be my new girlfriend.
HER: (Laughing)
ZAN: [Playing with my phone) You are now downgraded from Booty Call
# 1 to Booty Call # 10.
HER: (Laughing) No, please, I'll do anything to make it up to you.
And later still:
13B
ZAN: [Motioning for her to come over and pointing at my knee) Stephanie,
come and sit down. I'll tell you a bedtime story. [Smile, wink]
I have used that last line for years. It is gold.
Some of you guys are probably thinking, "Okay, now what? How do you
transition from funny ball-busting to more serious, romantic, sexual talk?"
It's simple, actually. At some point, I just talk to her quietly alone. Remember
to turn on the bedroom eyes.
ZAN: [No longer cocky funny] Stephanie, do you want me to call you?
HER: You know I have a boyfriend.
ZAN: That's not what I asked. Do you want me to call you?
HER: Tempting, but I can't.
ZAN: Sneak away with me, girl. I'll take you higher up the slopes of Parnassus
than you have ever been. Etc.
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and then convinced each other to stay in class cause we had a test..
