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| Do I have One-itis? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=32364 |
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| Author: | Lentouri [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 4:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Do I have One-itis? |
Basically, I have a friend who I have known for many years, and while I find other girls attractive, and would consider getting into relationships with others girls, I generally have problems picturing myself ending up (or married) with anyone besides her. I've been infatuated with her on / off for a few years now, and in that time we have become good friends. I read a few guides for dealing with one-itis, and they all seemed to suggest deleting phone numbers and breaking contact. This is not so much of an option in my case - we live pretty much on the same road, our families are friends, and see each other a lot of the time in the same town even when not out together - we also spend a lot of time one-on-one. Essentially, I am the gay best friend (without having a penchant for receptive anal intercourse). However, I still really rate her as a friend, and it's not the case that when we meet up I am constantly overanalyzing everything hoping its a secret sign that she really loves me and is dropping incredibly subtle hints about it. As I mentioned, the infatuation is very much on / off, and a lot of time is spent actually just as friends, getting an insight into females etc. She is what you guys would describe as a HB8, so pretty attractive, but I'm just trying to figure out what to do. My logical side (I am pretty logical, not so good with emotions - my doctor thinks I may have alexithymia...would that affect my pickup ability? offtopic I know) realizes she is not the one (just because I have known her a long time doesn't turn someone into "the one" - our first meeting was when young, and fairly mundane), but I am not sure if I can class this experience as one-itis. |
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| Author: | LokeAlive [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes, I would say that is one-itis. I'm sure most PUA get it from time to time. However I think its not the infatuation itself that is a worry, its if it clouds your mind. If you are so obsessed with what she's thinking you can't think properly yourself. I've been there too. I'm like, "dang, I like this girl but is it really one-itis." I figured what they meant is if it creates unhealthy attachment as the psychological term goes, than it is one-itis. In summary, is it hurting you? If you are thinking too much about her, and be overly observant on what her every action might mean, then it is one-itis. In such case, I have found it helpful for me to take my head out of what the specific consequences of my actions are (BTW: the human brain is extremely unskilled at assessing risk, and determining consequences). Basically, just poke around and have fun with everyone, you can't trust your brain to tell you whats going to happen, you just have to do it and let experience tell you what is going to happen. We have ancient mechanisms built in our brain that pertain to humanoid social structures. Including fear of the Alpha Male, need to secure a mate (behind the Alpha's back), and of course social proof. I think this is why Alpha Male mindset works so well with so many people, it basically tells the brain: "I am in charge, I fear nothing, my situation is great." This is the way I look at it, if you have any questions feel free to PM me. |
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| Author: | Plethora [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Edit: Damnit, I wrote a big long post because I thought you were a lesbian. After reading the 'pension for anal sex' line I had to delete it all. Well here's the short and sweet minus the mass of other stuff I wrote that is now not relative. Well, you have two options with one best course of action. Whether you call it a 'oneitis' or not is just semantics. Option 1: You try to move on Option 2: You try to get her Best course of action for both: You immediately start relationships with other people (men or women). Dating other women will stimulate the jealousy plotline and make you more attractive in her eyes. You should also run 'game' on her and kino escalate a lot. |
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| Author: | Bestete [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes thats one-itis. If you really wanna get over her theres something i do when im getting too intense feelings about someone: I start watching her and trying to finde all the bad things she has. In the end, most of the times you realize she's not that special. Anyway, you can also try to get her! |
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| Author: | NonStopReaper [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
yup thats a one-itis . From my standpoint have you told her about you feelings? you never know she might be thinking the same. Its better to do it now then never do it at all and regretting it. I was in the same situation as you and i told her. It didnt go my way but then agian i got it off my chest. I could move on and i feel absolutly better now. She is still my best friend and now we can talk about anything. Plus she knows about me trying to be a PUA and helps out many times. Like the others say Try a move on her and try to game her. |
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| Author: | V1V [ Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote from the matrix - (yes i like it haha) Being the one is like being in love. Nobody can tell you that you are - you just know you are. - Let me rephrase this to suit the situation at hand - Being in oneitis is like being the one. Nobody can tell you that you are - you just know you are. This cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzy lil rephrasement i have just done may give the impression that oneitis is a good thing. error. oneitis is a bad thing. do not confuse it with love. oneitis is obsessiveness. We PUAs encourage love. It is a good thing. It comes down to this. Are you obsessed with her??? |
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