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More than LJBF
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Author:  Brad_UK [ Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:33 am ]
Post subject:  More than LJBF
Hello,
This is my first post here, it's nice to find you guys.
I've searched the forum and didn't find a similar situation.

So, very short story:
I liked a girl from work, but i was her boss and didn't do anything. I've changed teams, and then asked her out (in the most basic idiotic way - doesn't matter) - she didn't said "no", just said it's not the right moment for her. I moved on, we still talked rarely - just the usual hi/hello. Like a month ago(after about a year), we started IM'ing a lot. She likes to paint, so she does drawings for me. 3-4 days a week she finds an excuse to come to my office and talk a little. I never go to her office. In my position now i can't influence her career, so it's not that. To sum up she seems to like me. But the weird part is that she has a boyfriend for 5 months now. Am I getting this the wrong way? - maybe she just wants to be friends.
So my questions are:
1) Does she wants more from me? (I definitely want more than friendship)
2) If she does more than this, how do I pursue this? - any advice, books would be great.

I don't know anything about her boyfriend, I have 2 colleges, great financial status, i work out, average looks, excellent status at work.

Thanks a lot guys for reading this.
Brad
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dont say she likes you because she kind or friendly towards you, thats where most males gets confused about. She does like you but not in that way (more of a friend at work where she can just bullshit with and talk to) If she liked you in the other sense she would of made more moves and hinted you more. I say the best thing to do is see if the relationship is strong. You have a chance to game her but i see this leading to the LJBF zone. Do a search on "how to avoid the LJBF zone" ever heard of the term "work hubby" or work spouse

A work spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex)[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to understand the nuances of the workplace. While it is not unusual for the relationship to contain elements of flirtation, this relationship can be threatened rather than enhanced if it becomes sexual.


Str8 from Wiki its self. So game accordly
Author:  Brad_UK [ Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the reply NonStopReaper.
Actually before I've asked her out, while still her boss, she asked me out, but couldn't agree at that time.
While talking, i've tried and observe her body language, she always smiles, eyes are sparkling, position always facing me, comes close to me to show me stuff at my computer, touching my hand and so on. We never talk about work, and actually we only have like 3 hours working together(different schedules now).

I'll do google search, but do you know any specific materials on that(ebook, videos, aso)?

Excellent insight on the work-spouse! Congrats - my last "thing" was exactly as you describe it.

Thanks!

PS: my moral principles don't exclude using any methods on this - i do consider it fair play in the end.
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
i agree about the fair game. if she not married. Its fair game. I
honestly can say i never ran into a situation like this at work since i work mostly with males and not in an office envorment
Author:  Chief [ Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Do you flirt with her?
If no, how the hell do you expect to find anything out?
If yes, does she flirt back?
If no, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
If yes, escalate until you hit noncompliance. If you do, take a step back, then 2 steps forward.

Anything else in your head will clutter your focus and will hinder you.
Author:  Brad_UK [ Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I took your advice and started flirting.
When talking i'm putting my hand on her arm, shoulder, waist, thigh, she's ok. Only one time she took my hand away(i was playing in the belly area). The second she took my hand off, i've kinda turned my back on her so she took my hands and played with them.

Last week we were at a work party, negged her, talking with other women(wow, i had never ever would have done this one month ago! - probably just watching her from the distance and planning to make my move lol) - having fun - everything going great. Her boyfriend showed up at one time, and then he left.

She was really down, wanted to go home(i guess she broke off with him) so i went to her and gived her a hug - she responded holding me close for like 5 seconds. We played a little, feeding me and stuff. She cheered up a little and so i've asked if she's ok. She didn't want to say anything, just saying she's ok, so i've smiled said ok and i've left with another woman to dance.
When the party ended, i've walked her to the car(she left with a female friend), she took my hand while walking.
I know my post looks like a teenager wrote it, but it's hard to see this clear while in the middle of it.

So my question now is, if she broke up, what do i do now? I'm thinking i'll try to be there for her, kidding about the girls i'm seeing and stuff. I mean i want to be there but not looking needy and trying to take advantage of her vulnerability now.
Any thoughs are welcomed, thank you guys :)
Author:  Brad_UK [ Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Anyone?
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