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did i make the biggest mistake
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Author:  jzee [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  did i make the biggest mistake
Hi there,

I'm new here, and i'm also new to picking up. honestly, i just want to pick up a girl that i like. I'm not into picking up for fun.

here is the situation and would like some comments and advice please

Today i went to have lunch in Pizza Hut and I saw this girl "the waitress", she is so cute. I liked her the first time my eyes saw her.

so, i decided that after i finish my meal, i'll go and talk to her. I tried all the time to keep an eye contact whenever she is passing by. I smile, then she smiles back.

anyway, I finished the dam meal and went to talk to her, i chose a moment and a place where she is alone and not doing anything.

I said excuse me, I'd like to ask you something.

she said: oh, yes sure.

so i said: I don't want to be so direct, or appear like a fool or even stepping in your life but would you like me to buy you a beer sometime after you finish work today or any other day?

she kinda got embarrassed, smiled, then she couldn't speak for few seconds then she said, i'm sorry but no :(

after looking a bit into her eyes, I said, it's alright no problem. I didn't even try to ask why or anything. I really like her and would like to go out with her. anyway, after that i remembered that i didn't pay yet so i let my friend go to pay and she seemed to be really upset.

keep in mind the following:
1. she might have a boyfriend.
2. she might not liked me or maybe the way i look, i'm a normal looking guy but i'm confident and comfortable with the way i look.
3. i had a friend who was having lunch with me and probably she thought we are having a bet on her.

could anyone please tell me what did i do wrong, could anyone recommend me what to do next? I thought of going there tomorrow with a "sorry card" and give it to her and leave. is the card a good idea?

i thought of the following to write in the card:

Dear xxx,

I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday. I really didn't mean that. I really like you, i couldn't stop thinking about you all the day yesterday; since I saw you. It's not something as you might have thought like having a bet with my friend or looking for NSA one night fun. I just wonder why you said "no", is it because of me or is it because you have someone else? If it's because of someone else, i'll understand. I envy him for a pretty and cute girl like you.

sorry again,
my name
my phone number

how does that sound??? any suggesstions?? other solutions???
Author:  Krylon [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: did i make the biggest mistake
Quote:
Hi there,

I'm new here, and i'm also new to picking up. honestly, i just want to pick up a girl that i like. I'm not into picking up for fun.
If you want my honest opinion right there says all that I need to know about you. Your not in the game for the right reason. I hate to say it like this but your an AFC I can tell you that just from your one line
Quote:
I'm not into picking up for fun.


This tells me one important thing. You're trying to find "the one" and you are far from where you want to be. If that is in fact your intention do you want to make a girl like you on false pretenses?


Quote:
Dear xxx,

I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday. I really didn't mean that. I really like you, i couldn't stop thinking about you all the day yesterday; since I saw you. It's not something as you might have thought like having a bet with my friend or looking for NSA one night fun. I just wonder why you said "no", is it because of me or is it because you have someone else? If it's because of someone else, i'll understand. I envy him for a pretty and cute girl like you.

sorry again,
my name
my phone number

how does that sound??? any suggesstions?? other solutions???


If you were serious about picking her up, don't sound so AFC, be persistent. You gave up after the first time, this card however you may see it, looks to me like you've admitted to defeat. Go back to the restaurant. If you want to put a line down on her try " I'm not used to being told no, you intrigue me" or something with the same effect.

With that one line if said appropriately you're beaming with confidence and a smile. If she rejects you a second time at least have the nerve to ask if she is single, which is something you should have done before you asked her the first time IMO.


Well you have my two cents.
Author:  Slipfinger [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Krylon said almost everything right there.

But he missed to point out you were looking at her, smiling then walking up and asking if you can buy her a beer...jeez cmon mate..thats DLV allllll the way, you did what every guy has probably done to her since she grew boobies, trying to show what a nice and great guy you are....*deep sigh* here is where mysteryes 3 sec rule applies threw your staring and smiling you displayed that you were hoping for her to date you, mate DLV again..your allowing her to screen you, you gave her the chance to diss you, by simply asking her can I buy you a beer, instead of just aproaching casually and without a goal, lets say just for her opinion on a subject, could've negged a bit, well there are tons of things you could have done to make the entire experience more enjoyable for yourself..welcome to the community you have a lot to learn, just like me.

B
Author:  jzee [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
sorry but it seems that i'm missing something, i don't know what this AFC you are talking about but seems you are insulting me. also i guess you miss understood something. i said i want to pick the girl that i like. i didn't say i desperately want a girlfriend for you to say find "the one". everybody was a newbie at some point so please don't insult my intelligence.

I guess i should have read some of the forum definitions before i sent my message. i didn't come here to be insulted guys!! I came here for help :)

anyway, i'm open minded enough to accept what you said and start learning to be better.

since i'm here, that does mean that i want to be better. so keep on replying and i should start learning. i won't give up though; i want this girl, and i'll make it.

how could you ask if she is single and you barely know her name?
what do you suggest to do if i go tomorrow to the same resturant
Author:  Slipfinger [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
mate relax most of the guys here are AFC, fuck I am a AFC...thats what we all are, there are PUA, and AFCs a real PUA is rare, you got your bunch of wannabee's but a real one is rare, All AFC means is Avarage frustrated chump..:) so noone is insulting you matey :D



B
Author:  Slipfinger [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Here's some recomended reading for you, but theory without field work wont work, so get a balance where you read, go try it out.

The Venusian handbook- By mystery

anything from DD (david Deangelo)

just remember what ever you learn get it to go well with your personality, and not like some bad scripture you read on the net, so always field test anything you learn or read, for your questions we will try to answer them, hell we help eachother here, even if its tough love! we're here to help eachother.

B
Author:  jzee [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The Venusian handbook- By mystery

anything from DD (david Deangelo)


B
links please?
Author:  Smile4now [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
m8 ballz to approach, but as you proppably allready have figured you were WAY to needy. I hve the same problem, you have to be patient and play with her like a cat with the mouse.
"the Game" by neil strauss is a new classic that may elp you.

Try Krylons tips (I'm not to good at writing so I dont know how to copy in a post) about being intrigued.

GL [/list]
Author:  Slipfinger [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:53 pm ]
Post subject:  =)
cant give you links since these ebooks and movies are for sale at each of the respected puas sites, anyway..you can get em at any torrent sites, I will not supply them here..since that would be not supporting the guys, take care..pm me if you still need hints and ill give you the links for the sites, but only privatly.

B
Author:  Krylon [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
sorry but it seems that i'm missing something, i don't know what this AFC you are talking about but seems you are insulting me. also i guess you miss understood something. i said i want to pick the girl that i like. i didn't say i desperately want a girlfriend for you to say find "the one". everybody was a newbie at some point so please don't insult my intelligence.

I guess i should have read some of the forum definitions before i sent my message. i didn't come here to be insulted guys!! I came here for help :)

anyway, i'm open minded enough to accept what you said and start learning to be better.

since i'm here, that does mean that i want to be better. so keep on replying and i should start learning. i won't give up though; i want this girl, and i'll make it.

how could you ask if she is single and you barely know her name?
what do you suggest to do if i go tomorrow to the same resturant


I in no way meant to offend you or insult you. But you come to the pickup world and you're trying to use it to pick up a specific girl. Not the greatest tactic and not really what we are all about to be honest.


The fact that you DO want to learn is good. But are you only learning to pick up this one girl? Are you doing it for yourself? For your confidence? I sure hope so.

Anyway, after all that is said and done I was merely trying to help you. I truly meant no harm by what I said just observation from your post.
Author:  Valence [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I will say this though, you are well on your way. You found the confidence to walk up to her, while sober, and initiate a conversation.

That is the first step and one of the hardest.

A simple change in your question may have been the difference in the world....

Instead of asking 'can I buy you a beer' you could have said 'I am going to give you the opportunity to buy me a beer'.
Author:  jzee [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
sorry but it seems that i'm missing something, i don't know what this AFC you are talking about but seems you are insulting me. also i guess you miss understood something. i said i want to pick the girl that i like. i didn't say i desperately want a girlfriend for you to say find "the one". everybody was a newbie at some point so please don't insult my intelligence.

I guess i should have read some of the forum definitions before i sent my message. i didn't come here to be insulted guys!! I came here for help :)

anyway, i'm open minded enough to accept what you said and start learning to be better.

since i'm here, that does mean that i want to be better. so keep on replying and i should start learning. i won't give up though; i want this girl, and i'll make it.

how could you ask if she is single and you barely know her name?
what do you suggest to do if i go tomorrow to the same resturant


I in no way meant to offend you or insult you. But you come to the pickup world and you're trying to use it to pick up a specific girl. Not the greatest tactic and not really what we are all about to be honest.


The fact that you DO want to learn is good. But are you only learning to pick up this one girl? Are you doing it for yourself? For your confidence? I sure hope so.

Anyway, after all that is said and done I was merely trying to help you. I truly meant no harm by what I said just observation from your post.
no offense taken mate :) although i might want to pick this specific girl, that doesn't mean i won't try on other girls :) thanks for the advice, i'll stick with you guys although i've an extremely busy week next week and have to prepare but i'll try my best to stick at least once a day during that week and i'll be able to make it more afterwards. :)
Author:  nomad42 [ Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
listen man do not, i repeat do not leave her a sorry note. It's borderline creepy and I would bet that something else more important in her life is what upset her, and maybe you triggered a memory or something. We all like to think that the object of our affection thinks about us as much as we think of them but that's not how it is when you're just trying to get with someone. I understand you feel bad and sure it seems logical to apologize for something you feel bad about, but you were just some customer who asked her out. If you want to do this right and use PUA read the material recommended and give it a few weeks before you approach again.
Author:  Smile4now [ Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm with nomad42, learn picture reading and handwriting reading, xfman has great tpis on both at his site, and maybe some coin trick. This will build youre selfesteem and you should have something to save you with if the conversation starts to die.
And dont appolagise, you didn't do anything wrong (wieved through afc eyes atleast) Just try again later and this time with the confidence of a roid taker. She's the 1 who was loosing something not you! 8)
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