PUA Forum :: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener

My question is this: when I first enter the party with my friends/wingman and start talking, is it worth it to look for repeated eye contact from the girls around the room, or am I better off waiting until some of the ladies come to me? I'm not passive by any means, but I remember reading that it's bad to always be looking around the party.

Also, I've gotten some great material from this forum (changed most of it to fit my style of conversation), and I wanted to throw this out there. Let me know what you all think:

Me (after basic intros, name/major/etc): So what are you into, what are you passionate about?
HB: blah blah blah13209850sdf;jj
Me (cocky/funny): So...nothing interesting then? (smile) Kidding, you mentioned blah blah blah

It's usually good to be cocky/funny, but not in this situation. For a girl to like you, she is going to have to feel an emotional connection with you. If you shoot down her passions and her personality, then there is nothing there for her to connect to you with.

At some point you need to make or fake an emotional connection, and this point is really good. She talks about something she is in to, and you go off on how you feel the same way and get exited about the feeling.

If you have no commonalities, get exited about the similar feelings you and her have over certain passions. For example, if she is in to dancing, you could focus on the athleticism and mastering movements (assume you do some sport).

Me: So what are you into
HB: blah blah blah, what about you?
Me: I like talking to cute girls...I haven't met any tonight, maybe you can help?

Some room for interpretation there, and a little more (less?) subtle. At the same time, it may be too early for a neg. Any thoughts?

Umm... I've tried stuff like that in the past, and it doesn't really work. First of all if you are asking about her life or her personality, you really need to seize that opportunity to show interest in her. Also, telling a girl she isn't cute is a bad idea most of the time. You can say or hint that you aren't attracted to her, or that she isn't your type, or make fun of her outfit/hair... but negging her physical appearance quite often backfires.

I would change it around (knocking off the first two lines) and go with something like this: "My friends tell me I should find a girl..."
then
"...They said you would be perfect for me but I don't know, you aren't really my type."
or
"...Do you see any that you think would complement me well?"

Thanks again, I can't get enough feedback about my approach (even rejection is fine as long as I get to practice). I'm wondering about your choice of response - I like it (fits my personality pretty well, actually), but it doesn't seem to fit into the "what are you into" subject. Would I be better off using it later in the night, maybe as another convo topic is winding down?

Also, I have a great story that ties into what I'm interested in - politics (wouldn't say this until after I've related to what she's interested in). A boring subject, sure, but the story is great. Since this would be A2, would it be a good time to tell the story? Definitely a DHV in my mind.

Author:	crz4995 [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:31 am ]
Post subject:	College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
What's up PUA forum, I'm new to the world of being a PUA (currently still an rAFC) but I'm working on it. I go to school at a huge college in the US, and for the most part, the social dynamic at frat parties/house parties are the same - I almost never see the same person twice, which is both good and bad. My question is this: when I first enter the party with my friends/wingman and start talking, is it worth it to look for repeated eye contact from the girls around the room, or am I better off waiting until some of the ladies come to me? I'm not passive by any means, but I remember reading that it's bad to always be looking around the party. Also, I've gotten some great material from this forum (changed most of it to fit my style of conversation), and I wanted to throw this out there. Let me know what you all think: Me (after basic intros, name/major/etc): So what are you into, what are you passionate about? HB: blah blah blah13209850sdf;jj Me (cocky/funny): So...nothing interesting then? (smile) Kidding, you mentioned blah blah blah And I'd go from there. Too mean?

Author:	xxIcexx [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:42 am ]
Post subject:
Dont wait for anything to come to you, because it probably wont right away. Use that 3 second rule, everyone is at a party to meet people, unless they are bitches, but you should be fine as long as you have a nice smile and use that cocky/funny.

Author:	Plethora [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
Quote: My question is this: when I first enter the party with my friends/wingman and start talking, is it worth it to look for repeated eye contact from the girls around the room, or am I better off waiting until some of the ladies come to me? I'm not passive by any means, but I remember reading that it's bad to always be looking around the party. Don't look for eye contact, and don't be looking around the party. If you are by yourself and you see something you like, go in right away. Make it an automatic response in your head so you don't have time to build up approach anxiety. The only time you should hang back is if you already have company, preferably of women, and are seen as the social center of the room. Quote: Also, I've gotten some great material from this forum (changed most of it to fit my style of conversation), and I wanted to throw this out there. Let me know what you all think: Me (after basic intros, name/major/etc): So what are you into, what are you passionate about? HB: blah blah blah13209850sdf;jj Me (cocky/funny): So...nothing interesting then? (smile) Kidding, you mentioned blah blah blah It's usually good to be cocky/funny, but not in this situation. For a girl to like you, she is going to have to feel an emotional connection with you. If you shoot down her passions and her personality, then there is nothing there for her to connect to you with. At some point you need to make or fake an emotional connection, and this point is really good. She talks about something she is in to, and you go off on how you feel the same way and get exited about the feeling. If you have no commonalities, get exited about the similar feelings you and her have over certain passions. For example, if she is in to dancing, you could focus on the athleticism and mastering movements (assume you do some sport).

Author:	crz4995 [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
Quote: It's usually good to be cocky/funny, but not in this situation. For a girl to like you, she is going to have to feel an emotional connection with you. If you shoot down her passions and her personality, then there is nothing there for her to connect to you with. At some point you need to make or fake an emotional connection, and this point is really good. She talks about something she is in to, and you go off on how you feel the same way and get exited about the feeling. If you have no commonalities, get exited about the similar feelings you and her have over certain passions. For example, if she is in to dancing, you could focus on the athleticism and mastering movements (assume you do some sport). Thanks for the input, that's what I was worried about. Maybe something more like this, then? Me: So what are you into HB: blah blah blah, what about you? Me: I like talking to cute girls...I haven't met any tonight, maybe you can help? Some room for interpretation there, and a little more (less?) subtle. At the same time, it may be too early for a neg. Any thoughts?

Author:	Plethora [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
Quote: Me: So what are you into HB: blah blah blah, what about you? Me: I like talking to cute girls...I haven't met any tonight, maybe you can help? Umm... I've tried stuff like that in the past, and it doesn't really work. First of all if you are asking about her life or her personality, you really need to seize that opportunity to show interest in her. Also, telling a girl she isn't cute is a bad idea most of the time. You can say or hint that you aren't attracted to her, or that she isn't your type, or make fun of her outfit/hair... but negging her physical appearance quite often backfires. I would change it around (knocking off the first two lines) and go with something like this: "My friends tell me I should find a girl..." then "...They said you would be perfect for me but I don't know, you aren't really my type." or "...Do you see any that you think would complement me well?" Quote: Some room for interpretation there, and a little more (less?) subtle. At the same time, it may be too early for a neg. Any thoughts? Yes, more subtle/playful. And it's never to early to neg Edit: Oh, and the more attractive the girl, the more you should neg her. If you think you are sitting at a higher level of perceived value than the girl (you are more attractive), then take it easy on the negs. If she is smoking hot and she knows it, then you can fire off some pretty harsh ones such as "I like your shirt, it hides your belly," or "I like your hair, it makes your head look normal."

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Author:	crz4995 [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 3:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
Quote: Umm... I've tried stuff like that in the past, and it doesn't really work. First of all if you are asking about her life or her personality, you really need to seize that opportunity to show interest in her. Also, telling a girl she isn't cute is a bad idea most of the time. You can say or hint that you aren't attracted to her, or that she isn't your type, or make fun of her outfit/hair... but negging her physical appearance quite often backfires. I would change it around (knocking off the first two lines) and go with something like this: "My friends tell me I should find a girl..." then "...They said you would be perfect for me but I don't know, you aren't really my type." or "...Do you see any that you think would complement me well?" Thanks again, I can't get enough feedback about my approach (even rejection is fine as long as I get to practice). I'm wondering about your choice of response - I like it (fits my personality pretty well, actually), but it doesn't seem to fit into the "what are you into" subject. Would I be better off using it later in the night, maybe as another convo topic is winding down? Also, I have a great story that ties into what I'm interested in - politics (wouldn't say this until after I've related to what she's interested in). A boring subject, sure, but the story is great. Since this would be A2, would it be a good time to tell the story? Definitely a DHV in my mind.

Author:	Plethora [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 3:07 am ]
Post subject:	Re: College Party Pick-ups, question/possible opener
Quote: Thanks again, I can't get enough feedback about my approach (even rejection is fine as long as I get to practice). I'm wondering about your choice of response - I like it (fits my personality pretty well, actually), but it doesn't seem to fit into the "what are you into" subject. Would I be better off using it later in the night, maybe as another convo topic is winding down? My response wasn't meant to have to do with that question. If you ask her what she is in to, it should be because (or make her think that it is because) you are genuinely interested in her. This means that you have to show interest in her answer and ask leading questions. Quote: Also, I have a great story that ties into what I'm interested in - politics (wouldn't say this until after I've related to what she's interested in). A boring subject, sure, but the story is great. Since this would be A2, would it be a good time to tell the story? Definitely a DHV in my mind. If it has a few of these traits: interesting, impressive, funny, concise, and DHVing: then sure, fire it off.

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