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Fixing up Old Ground
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Author:  Poisson [ Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Fixing up Old Ground
No no no, I'm not asking about what you think I am (i.e. oneitis, fixing things with some girl you've met before but screwed it up with).

Instead, I'm asking about the more general sort of problem. If people know the old you, before you started fixing your old game, well, they still treat you like the old you, and this makes it harder to be the new you around them. Does anyone have any tips on how to snap other people out of their old perspective on you and make them look at you in a new light? The only way I can think of is to basically change the way you look and dress, and in quite a big way. Which I'm doing - hats, man bags, stylier shirts (the first two more important than the third I think, stylier shirts is just subtle, and I don't want to go to over the top).

Anyway, what do people suggest? :)

Thanks!
P
Author:  class78 [ Thu Oct 02, 2008 12:36 am ]
Post subject: 
If you took an AFC and dressed him up like ummmm lets say Mystery or Style he is still an AFC. Its what's going on inside that matters, its what changes you have made that matters. If you game is getting better these people will just know. People espically girls pick up on this. My advice do nothing to impress them and they will be impressed
Author:  dronten [ Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I have the same problem.. and it's actually one of the reasons I've recently been thinking about moving... I'm not just digging the small town vibe anymore :P

But hey, it's good practice. If you can "convert" people who have thought of you in that way for so long, you can convince anyone you're a cool guy. :) I think it's mostly about being persistant and consistant... If you keep showing them you have changed (be funny, social, show integrity, take the lead.. etc etc) again and again, eventually it will sink in. Making new friends also helps convincing the ones who onyl know the "old" you.. I'm now hanging with some people who have such high social value that I probably wouldn't even have had the guts to talk them a year or two ago... and when they say I'm cool, that helps a lot :P But now and again I meet people who thinks I'm still a nobody... But I try to be who I am regardless of what they think of me. My goal is pretty much to not give a damn about what anybody thinks. It can be hard, but if you care and worry too much you're toast :P
Author:  Milinko [ Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:29 am ]
Post subject: 
its self explanatory. you just act like the new you. if theyre treating you like the "old" you, you just put them in there place, i suggest using some amog stuff, nothing harsh, just take more control... they'll get the drift and they'll drool. my ex loathes me, and she's chatting me up right now since ive changed. she wants to know wtf made me change and blah blah blah...
Author:  Kalel [ Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:58 am ]
Post subject: 
I think its more than just looking different or changing your personallity. People won't treat you different till they see your results. They need to see you walk the walk before they believe your talk. Once they see you out and about, and being around Hbs, they will treat you different. But until they see actual proof, they will think you are just acting weird or going through a phase or something.
Author:  Poisson [ Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey everyone,

Thanks for your thoughts... Thinking about it I reckon you're right. You just gotta walk the walk, show people you've changed and wait for them to come around and catch up with the new you... I'm throwing more kino into day to day life, and that seems to be working. Don't know if that changes how people perceive me but I'm getting a helluva lot more smiles from girls and respect from guys... A hand to someone's shoulder is the best...

P
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