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So Bloody Close...
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Author:  rigoberto [ Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  So Bloody Close...

Alright, I've been gaming this girl for what feels like ages, even though it's only been a few slow weeks. We finally had a cool first date last week that ended with a European kiss on the cheeks (there's a language and culture gap, so I wasn't trying to push too fast). Then I thought I spoiled things by pressing too hard too soon after, and I got stood up for our second date over the weekend (she says she was really sick). Anyhow, I pass this girl every morning on the way to work, so I sort of salvaged things through neg gestures and showing ambivalence about going out again, and when I felt a good vibe again, I asked her out again tonight and we went out for a second date. We had a great conversation, made great eye contact, and I made a point of establishing kino (touching her forearm and knee, feeling her hairline for a scar after she brought it up in one of her stories, putting my arm around her shoulder while I held my umbrella over her head), but with the way we were situated in the bar, I didn't feel a good opportunity for going in for the kiss.

Anyhow, I walked her back to the subway, and she repeatedly mentioned how great of a time she had, and we were already making plans about hanging out again. I managed some okay kino on the walk back, but I was wearing this stupid courier laptop bag that got in between us and prevented me from putting my arm around her waist and controlling the contact when it was time to say bye. As a result, she leaned in and planted another couple of kisses on my damn cheeks again and took off...

Anyhow, it's clear she digs me, although I'm left wondering if it's as a pretty cool English-speaking friend or as a guy she is ready to give up the goods to. I'm pissed because I totally felt like I was in control right up until that last moment, and I was sure I was going to get a real K-close. I was so frustrated about it that I just fired off a text message to her saying "I really wanted to kiss you on the lips...". Was this a chump move? Has this pretty much confirmed that I'm not gonna close, or was I out of the game from the start? Or is there a chance that she's just going slow with me and I'm still on track? I'm actually okay if this turns into an LJBF, because she's a cool bird and we've got lots in common, but I really want to take this further if there's any chance for it.

I'll definitely be able to find out where things stand tomorrow when I see her on the way to work, but it would help if you guys could give me a clue as to what to expect...

Author:  bliss101 [ Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

I was in a similar situation very recently. in my opinion, you should never say you want to kiss a girl unless you've already kissed her. But it's all good. What you want to do now is go for a k-close. look for 3 IOI's and perform a trust test. If she passes, switch gears and leap into the unknown! (that meant kiss her btw). if you don't you'll be ljbf'd or she'll just get bored and drift away. so yeah if you get the IOI's etc, none of this "kiss on the cheek" business.

Author:  Jason Bourne [ Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

well your in the game with her now, if what you really want is to kiss her then you must try, if you manage to get another date with her, she is on you, but this time do what David D would do, treat her as your girlfreind from the moment you meet her, buy this I mean after the initial hug and kiss (both cheeks I’m guessing) take her by the hand lead her raise the kino very quickly in stages get her comfortable with your touch within an hour or so, this should be easy on the third date (I Hope!!!) then execute a k-close something like, smell her hair whisper in her ear something like "I think your ready for an almost kiss" then pull back very closely to her lips if you time it right she won’t move and simply kiss her if she moves kiss her neck and try an almost kiss a bit later she knows how it feels to be that close to u she won’t move the second time then simply kiss her I’ve used this k-close many times (trust me it works). But if you use some else make sure you go for the kiss before the night is up or you are just asking to be just friends.

At some point you have to take a risk you are the man and you should be leading the interaction.

Diamond

Author:  BamBam [ Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Kiss her at the start of next date itll set a sexual tone and you can play with the tension a lot. I don't know all the details so i dont know if this is age appropriate ect ect. But thats what i would do, you could do a cloe your eyes ive got sdomething to show you as soon as she gets into the car going on the next date or something :D Have fun just make a move soon or you've lost her

Author:  rigoberto [ Fri Sep 26, 2008 9:58 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks guys, I think things are in a good spot. I saw her this morning on the way to work, and I could tell right away from the sly smile that she read my text, but was too shy to comment (she's a little reserved because she's self-conscious about her English). Anyhow, after a little chit chat, I felt a good vibe so I asked her what she thought about us, because I thought she was hot and pretty cool, and we should be more than friends. She blushed a bit and said that she still doesn't know me that well (a German buddy here at work said that it's pretty typical for girls here to move slowly when they are looking for a relationship), but she thinks that'd be cool. Then she said let's meet tonight after work, so I think this is totally in my hands now. I'm totally going to take your advice tonight though and am going to assert right off the bat with a kiss and not give her a chance to over-think it.

I don't know, me being so forward might seem a little AFCish, but I think sometimes being direct is good if you've given a lot of subtle hints and still haven't gotten a clear reply. Obviously it could have backfired, but like I said earlier, I was prepared for her to say LJBF...

Author:  BamBam [ Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:07 am ]
Post subject: 

Seems like you've got it under control, not going to say anything bad about being AFCish sometimes because i know i still do it all the time. Works almost always if you read the situation. Good luck and i hope things go well just try not to move too fast but make sure a sexual tone is set.

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