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Followed David's principle of Reward and Punishment = fucked
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Author:  Birdoftruth [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:00 am ]
Post subject:  Followed David's principle of Reward and Punishment = fucked
So I got this girl's number who worked with me. waited three days called her. Made a connection. Waited two days, Called her definitely liked each other. I then realize the only day I would be able to go on date with her was Wednesday (two days after the second call), So I called her next day, ask her on date mini golf. She says yes. Next day she calls me and flakes. I busted her balls telling her (in joking manner) she is on strike one and on strike two I stop asking. I also told her I see right through her excuse (something stupid about weekday). Well I was supposed to come in on her break the next day (this was planned about 5 days before) well I wasn't going to reward her for flaking on me so I backed off and just came in and said hi (I had to go in anyway for some business issues). Well next day I call her she doesn't pick up. So I go online and one hour later find her on myspace. She changes her relationship status to 'in a relationship' (which I had no clue she was talking to anyone else) and Told her ignoring my calls was mean. and she said she was on phone (so what you can't return calls bitch?) and she said she couldn't talk to me then because her sister was asleep (she was visiting her in her dorm) and didn't want to wake her up. BULL SHIT! you can't go in another room or leave or talk silently? on top of that she promised me she would call me today and didn't. So what do I do? wait and call her a couple days later (what if she doesn't pick up? leave message calling it off?)
Author:  HighStakes [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:05 am ]
Post subject: 
imo move on bro. she's a 100% flaker.
Author:  Birdoftruth [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:12 am ]
Post subject: 
so I shouldn't even try talking to her? Just forget it completely and drop her out of my friend's list? or leave her there?
Author:  ryukin [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:12 am ]
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Yep move on. Its clear she's not interested. Who knows why and frankly it doesn't make any difference. Spend your time better elsewhere.
Author:  Birdoftruth [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:36 am ]
Post subject: 
I just want to know where I fucked up for future reference.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I just want to know where I fucked up for future reference.
Don't take this the wrong way, because I'm not trying to insult you, but give you the advice you asked for. I think that you came across as needy and when you kept telling her how she was being mean and you weren't going to talk to her if she didn't change, she saw you as whiney.

I've been there too; I had a girlfriend that has some serious psychological issues and she's completely afraid of relationships not working out, so she always sabotages them. When she started flaking on me, even though I knew she was still highly attracted and we'd been together for a few weeks and slept together several times, I tried to basically impliment a 3 strike rule. It was the wrong course of action and only made the situation worse, especially with the talk of not being with her if she didn't stop flaking and acting weird; that just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and it always come about, EVERY single time someone brings it up.

With girls that are really keen on it, then teasingly using the reward and punishment system works, but if you are trying to use it in a serious manner on a girl that isn't behaving the way you want, then either you have to completely not care about be utterly congruent with it, in which case you're basically just using the girl and don't have any real feelings for her, or you need to take a completely different approach. Reward and punishment don't work with people that you actually care about, it isn't congruent and generally they'll just tell you to fuck yourself, or fulfill the requirements you laid out for ending things, either consciously or subconsciously.
Author:  Whoopie [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Why did you wait so long to call her in the first place? There isn't no science in calling. If you want to call her, call her. Best advice seen a couple of txt messages then give her a call. Gets her in the talkative mood and if she takes awhile to txt she is busy.

You made to much of a scene about her flaking. Yeah bust her balls but after that you should have dropped it or put the ball in her court. Making her make a date for yall to hang out.
Author:  gambit5626 [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:31 pm ]
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you drove her away yourself, her flaky you shoudl of said who cares we'll try agian next week and say she does it agin well try again a month later...but you basically actualy like a bitch and ignored her so she flaked on you you got pissed off, so of course she is gonna retaliate and do something back, so you got more pissed and pushed her further away with your being pissed off accusing her attitude and basically you blew yourself out of the water..

next time flaking happens just play it cool and odnt worry bout it hey! it happens to the best of us......
Author:  Coolcat21 [ Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:58 am ]
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Bro she is not worth it, move on. Soemtimes it isnt what you have done or not done women have there own motivation and they are way more calibrated than we are naturally. You just need to improve your game.
Author:  dieselfuel [ Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Why did you wait 3 days? The 'three day,' rule is from a movie called 'swingers.' You don't actually wait 3 days.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna sign on to what Rye Lee said about being needy.
If I had to say where you messed up, I would say you chased her. The goal is to make her chase you. "Don't chase girls, replace them," - Some mPUA.
Author:  Birdoftruth [ Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the constructive criticism guys. See about the flaking thing. I read that it is best to bust balls and let it know it is not ok because if she doesn't go out on date within first week It will most likely never happen especially if she thinks it is ok with you that she flakes. So I figured I played my chances and lost. now imma jerk :oops:
Author:  Birdoftruth [ Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:25 am ]
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guys today she told me her ex who she's known for two years asked her back out. I am so sick of this shit. What do I need to do to change? Give me something to read or somewhere to go.
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