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What to do when fear strikes?
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Author:  Magnatolia [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:59 am ]
Post subject:  What to do when fear strikes?
Hey all,

I had the worst night last night. I was solo and could not for the life of me chat to anyone. There was even a girl by herself.

I think it had to do with the fact that they have dance music pumping on a friday night (stupid idea as there's a maximum of 5 people on the dancefloor at any time). I did open 2 girls at the bar, but that didn't really go anywhere.

Then I left and asked people where a nightclub was that I was looking for. One girl had no idea as she was visiting so I was gonna try and start a convo but the older lady she was with had walked past so the girl didn't stop to chat.

One or two other opens, one had a bit of energy but nothing. Once I met up with my friends I did open a girl at a 50/50 gay club. She asked if the girl I was chatting to was my gf then told her she was cute - guess I picked the gay one lol.

So yeah pretty pissed off with myself. For me when I do open I don't really go with openers other than how's your night going? I'm thinking I want to try some of the trick type openers. I'm also going to wear a hat next time I head out, see what happens. But yeah I'm just not good at opening sets, even a 2 set.
Author:  Droether [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:48 am ]
Post subject: 
For fear, there is a great David DeAngelo 'trick' that gives you a sort of 'happy button'.

Basically.. Think of time when you've felt the most confident you've ever been (Or any other emotion you want. Make sure it's positive though!). Keep replaying that thought in your mind and then associate it with an action (Maybe breathing out with pursed lips or stretching your arms or something. I prefer the breathing one as its much easier to do very quickly). Then combine the two so they become associated in your mind. Then whenever you need that confidence boost do the action several times.

As for going out and getting used to approaches.. It's something that takes time. Dream said his first 100 approaches, he was sweating like mad, scared and everything. It will become easier as time goes on, I'm sure. :)

-Dro
Author:  Coolcat21 [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Talk to as many people as you can
I know what you mean about the fear of approach it can be very strong sometimes especially considering the attractivness of the women, jsut talk to people how dont instill fear into you to gain confidence
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