Hey people.
I didn't really know where suitably post this, so I thought 'newbie questions' section would maybe be okay, seeing as I'm a newbie and I guess this is technically a question aswell as a seek for advice.
My main purpose for registering, is because I have a case of one-itis, and could use some good advice from you dudes.
I guess that I'll start from the begining - I've known this girl for just over three years.
I met her when I was studying Art at my old college - I got on with her really well (we were into much of the same bands, films, books etc.) and there was always some mild flirting and chemistry - she was single, but unfortunately I had a long-term girlfriend.
Myself and my then-girlfriend were experiencing problems anyway - we always argued, there was some other guy that was after her and she was kind of interested in anyway - and I was always at college, so I was always unintentionally in this other girl's company much more than my girlfriend's so the attraction grew. And because I'm honest, I openly admitted to my ex that I was attracted to another girl - after that, our quarrels grew larger and this other girl was giving a few IOI's.
Not long afterwards, I quit the Art course to pursue my true goal which is Music Tech, which I began studying at the same college so I still saw her here and there.
But my ex began to naturally stop trusting me - so in order to assure her of my commitment, I cut off all contact with this girl (stupid thing to do) by erasing her phone number, her e-mail, stopping all online interactions with her and basically blanking and ignoring her around college.
During my last year at college, me and my ex eventually split up and not long after that, the other girl added me back on myspace - just the general chit-chat and the 'hello/how are you?' but she was/is now in a long-term relationship, so I was of course, gutted and kind of left it.
In the last few months, I saw her here and there, and gradually a bit more, as I eased myself into her social circle and as of now, a lot of my friends have become friends with her and her friends (including my closest friend and supposed wingman).
She was still with her boyfriend, and around this time I was involved in a fling with a girl from work - this fling-girl uploaded loads of pics of us together on Facebook.
One night out at a group meal/pub outing, my one-itis brought her boyfriend along, but she kept texting me asking if I was okay and eventually broke away from her boyfriend to admit to me in private that the pics of me and the fling, had made her grown jealous, and that she has liked me for a while too, and described the disadvantages perfectly by describing it as "we keep missing each other" - in the sense that when I'm involved with someone else she happens to be single, and when I'm single, she of course now has a boyfriend.
From what I understand she is not exactly happy with her boyfriend - I've met him and he's an okay guy - real quiet and even laughs at my jokes - I wasn't trying to display any "leader of men" or "dominator of social circles" in front of him and her, but he's always kind of laughed along and not displayed any distaste to me - so I guess I've displayed some images unintentionally.
I've not run any 'boyfriend destroyer' either. And he is also the complete oppposite of me, which I find interesting - he's a football coach, who is younger than her and I, earns around £15 an hour and NEVER spoils her or takes her out/buys her anything, which I think personally is crazy. I'm tall and kind of lanky, not really athletic, have long hair and piercings :s
I should probably point out here that she has really random taste in men - everyone from guys like Vin Diesel to people like Richard Hammond and guys like Matt Tuck from Bullet For My Valentine and Jonathan Davis from Korn.
I don't mind her boyfriend at all, but her friends have assured me that he's really not nice to her at all and would be happier if she was with me.
I personally feel that she is really out of my league - a lot of guys like her, but herself and my friends have told me she's not.
Consequently, she thinks I'm out of her league :s
It's gotten to the point now, where her and her best friend come out with myself and my friends, and the amount of chemistry is frustrating - the last time she wore a skirt deliberately, because a few days before I mentioned having never seen her in one.
I've even had a heated text message conversation with her in which she admitted to hating not being able to do stuff to me in front of her friends, which eventually led on to practically 'text sex'.
A certain amount of kino goes on a lot - I've slept round her house, in her bed with her (which killed because I felt I couldn't do anything, but her friend told me it was good because she explained it made her feel safe and comfortable being near to me in that sense) and round other people's parties she asks me to sleep on the floor with her, but it never goes further than general conversation.
However the last time we were all out, we were in a position in which she was sitting on a bar stall and I was talking to her quite closely, rubbling my leg up and down between her legs on the bar stall, and she had to ask me to stop it because she was getting too turned on - at which point I just lent in and kissed her, which she didn't stop.
It was awesome - but since then, I've been in more situations where we've been alone intimately and nothing has happened.
I guess she just doesn't want to be made to feel unfaithful to her boyfriend. A lot of my friends just think why doesn't she just dump him for me? Her friends and closest friend don't like him much anyway, and her best friend just told me to "be patient. It'll happen one day".
My closest friend had a much more logical opinion on the matter - he reckons that she's got everything right where she wants it.
With her boyfriend, she has sex, stability and is probably real close with his family so there's some sort of degree of comfort there and with me, I'm naturally nice to her all the time, make her laugh and probably am just a thrill - liking me when she knows she shouldn't.
I'm off to Uni real soon, and she has said she's going to visit me occasionaly if she can when I'm not home - I'll be seeing her in the enxt two months for attending gigs in London, in which she intends to stay with me and others in my halls of residence afterwards.
Her friends have told me that the interest is mutual, and that I should probably just wait - my closest friend has driven me to speaking tactics which have generated positive feedback, such as engaging in conversations about possible one-night stands at Uni in front of her to make her feel jealous again and mentally seek attention from me, but at this point I don't think it's gonna go anywhere good.
One-itis is always frustrating and embarassing and frankly pathetic - but I just need some good advice on how to solve this and make her mine sooner than waiting around by getting some bigger balls and taking action, otherwise she'll probably be with her dick boyfriend for a while.
It's not like I haven't been successful with girls currently because I'm too obsessed with this - I'd just like to ideally be with her and I can't just put this to the back of my mind, or ignore it because it has increased and grown into too much of a big thing, so I look forward to some good advice from you guys.
Sorry about the really long dragged-out read and if there was any un-necessary info - I just wanted to be thorough with the situation.
Hope I can get some good feedback.
Thanks again
LG