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Did I screw this one up?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=27977
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Author:  Calaris3 [ Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:41 am ]
Post subject:  Did I screw this one up?

So I was hanging out in a group of 3 guys and 1 girl (I know...but the others were pretty AFC so I thought I'd have a chance) and one of the guys touched the girl and she got a bit emotional and said she had a problem with guys touching her. She started talking about how she almost got molested by her cousin and some traumatic recent experiences and the guys were all saying things like "oh im sorry... im a very emotional guy, im sorry i didn't know..." and me trying to say something to stand out said "I'm not" and the guys started calling me a jerk. And continued trying to emotionally support the girl.

She continues to say "yea, thats why i have a problem with guys touching me... its hard for me to say this. I don't think guys should touch girls, it's just wrong... (she said all this completely serious. doesnt seem to be a shit test)." so I suddenly said "Well you see it's only ok when the touching is done by me!" and the three guys started going "Wow what a jerk" and the girl said "this isn't funny"

So yea....what went wrong? I'm trying to learn from my mistake.

Author:  Double J [ Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Hmm, well, it seem you may of oversteped the line with your comments.

See, if she has REAL issues with guys touching her then it might be an idea to pick another target, as she might need a small bit of help. If she is an honest to god 10 then that may have been a shit test, but from how you describe it its sound genuine enough to me.

What I would have done (hindsight) is either change the subject completely to something slightly more up-beat. Or more likely make up some story about my friend having a similar issue and try to convey you understand. Giving you points over the other guys, yet leaning you slightly closer to the friend zone.

Hope this helps.

Author:  eMJay [ Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

Or maybe you could said something like:
"I know what you mean, but not every guy is like that. Just because you had a really bad experience, you shouldnt let it affect the rest of your life. Honestly, what you experienced might only happen once in a lifetime and and there are VERY few guys that really have intentions to hurt you when they touch you"

Author:  Chino Kapone [ Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...... not good. You blew it. Bad.

1. You do not need a cocky funny answer for everything.
2. When speaking on real emotional issues, it is best to just agree, or not say anything. Just nod your head with empathetic look on your face.
3. You looked like a creep who just wanted to get in her pants.
4. The other guys are trying to get into her pants, just like you. They just were there for her emotionally.
5. Women don't bring this shit up, unless they are an attention whore.
6. Your answer should have been " I understand." Listened (which you failed to do) and then approached her later when you could isolate her being very conscious of her personal space.
7. Learn, and move on. You are seen as the jerk of the group. Your best move is to apologize once, face to face. Example: "Hey, I was inappropriate the other day. My goal was just to lighten the mood, and I failed. I would like to apologize for being insensitive." let her accept your apology, drop it and move on.

Good luck bro

CK

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