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| Converting an LJBF to a sexual relationship https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=27803 |
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| Author: | The Human Giant [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 2:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Converting an LJBF to a sexual relationship |
Here comes my first post. It's a long story, so bear with me here. So I'm currently a Sophomore in college. Last year during orientation I met this girl that was displaying astronomical IOIs. She friended me on Facebook, kept posting on my wall all summer. We start school and she's on me like white on rice. She is the one initiating hand-holding, calling me, coming over to my room. Through Facebook I know she has a boyfriend from High School, but I assume that she's going to dump his ass (or else why would she blatantly be all over me?). One night I apparently "take it too far" by giving her a couple kisses on the forehead. In retrospect I think she actually was not ready to break up with her old boyfriend and get with me. Anyway, she cuts off all contact with me after that. This is mid-September, a little less than a year ago. We go our separate ways for about two months, then start building a friendship by way of our mutual friends. By the end of last year, she was giving me some IOIs, but not nearly as strong as when we first met. I figure things are looking up, although I'm still in the LJBF camp. Meanwhile, this summer my friends introduced me to the world of PUA. I immediately realize that a) I'm an AFC and a Nice Guy, and b) these resources are absolute gold. I do my homework and read up in preparation for the coming year at school. I try to build rapport with this girl over Facebook, but that has obvious limits. She spent her summer abroad, so seeing her in person was not an option. School has started, and the last week I've been trying to game this girl out of the LJBF situation. I initiate kino whenever I see her. She often sees me shirtless or even in just my boxers, mostly because it's so damn hot in our room. I never break eye contact, although occasionally I worry I go overboard. The last two days have been the most interesting, though. Last night I was at a party, drunk but not even close to shitty. She texts me and asks me where I'm partying. We meet outside the house and she's as drunk as I am, so we are both able to communicate effectively. I manage to hook up with her a couple times, but in between the kissing she's saying that she knew since last week that I liked her again and that she doesn't like me back. She also tells me she doesn't know what she wants and that she might need years to get over her old BF. I think it's mostly/completely BS. A couple more kisses and she's still giving me the same BS after I tell and show her I want her. I give her the ultimatum: either we can have a sexual relationship or we can't be friends anymore. She's still saying she doesn't know, so I leave her at the party and go back to my room to pass out. Today I get a text from her basically telling me to come over. I take the 2 minute walk to her building and meet her in her room. After a bit of small talk I remind her of last night's events. Me: Listen, I know you remember everything that was said and done last night. Her: [generic response] and I don't want to get into a relationship or anything serious. I want my freedom [I'm paraphrasing here] Me: Well it doesn't have to be like that. We don't have to get all serious. Her: [more BS about not knowing what she wants] Me: [backing off touching her, moving for the door] Well what I said last night still stands. Her: Don't you think that's kind of dramatic? Me: [wave as I exit the room and head back to my building]. Here's my plan going forward: indifference. I'm just going to wait for however long it takes for her to give me a verdict. If she doesn't respond in a couple days I'm going to start putting more effort into picking up other girls. So am I on the right track? What does that "dramatic" comment mean? Any advice for an rAFC? |
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| Author: | Max Power [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well my compadre, in this sitch you must use caution. If this is a girl you want to keep, and shes a nice girl, she probably won't respond well to ultimatums. Play this one carefully, as not to upset the delicate balance of hooking up and friendship. Continue to hook up, but make it known that she is not the only fish in this coy pond. Game other girls, and make sure she sees this. If she responds negatively, then your up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick, if you catch my meaning. Chances are this will make her want you more. As your status will go up in her eyes. Hope this helps you stranger. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I posted something on this some months ago... Dont remember the name of it. Anyway, the way I went was to not give any ultimatums, not show sexual interest. First off, start a meeting pattern where the two of you are alone doing something neutral (go bowling every thursday etc). Be alpha, be funny, create inside jokes about situations where you were the only ones involved. Create an Our-world conspiracy. Love the same friends, hate the same enemies. Force IOIs from other girls in front of her. (SMOOTH and do not get more from them other than the IOIs.) Make sure her friends see you talking and joking, see her reactions to your forced IOIs, see your private jokes. After a while one of her friends will suggest to her that somethings going on. Some while later you will get "do you know what X told me..." Just laugh and do not admit it just yet. If shes interested she will ask you what you think about it. You just dont know yet, the thought did not cross your mind but ... well ... you dont know... Two days later, meet with her and she is well on her way to be your GF. |
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| Author: | The Human Giant [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 5:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Here's the thing... |
The ultimatum has already been given. I can't go back and start that long process. In addition, we had hooked up the day before I gave the ultimatum, so that's already a strong IOI if you ask me. If I were starting from a neutral LJBF position, though, I would definitely take your advice, Ezo. Max, I think you've got a point (and a sweet handle). She is a nice girl, but I think in time she'll be able to handle the ultimatum and give her verdict. Even if what I'm doing seems cruel to her, she should realize that she put me in an even worse situation last year by cutting me off with no explanation (I found our her reasons later through her friends). So I'm still left wondering: did I do the right thing? Now that I've done it I'm going to hold my ground, but next time something like this comes up I want to be informed. Also, what exactly does she mean with "Don't you think that's kind of dramatic?" Again, I'm going to start focusing on other girls now and just with indifference for a response. |
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