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Gross but serious question. Please advise
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=26939		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Marlow [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Gross but serious question. Please advise
I'll post the lay report for this later, however I dont know when because I am still grossed out.

Alright,

I picked up this hired gun, an HB7.5 bartender at a local country club. The pickup was going very well, I was playing my cards right, all my ESP and kino got very positive responses. I was on fire. Anyway, We move into the S3 stage abiding by the 7 hour rule and I went down on her. As soon as I got down there, I immediately regretted my decision. She smelt like a porta-potty at a carnival on a hot day. I almost vomited when I got down there. Not only that, but she had a pretty nasty bush too. However, I had to bite the bullet because I was to big of a pussy to say your snatch smells like a toxic waste dump.

Anyway, we had sex a week later, and the porta-potty smell persisted.

Now she keeps calling me and keeps refering to me as her boyfriend. She's a nice girl with ugly duckling syndrome, and I don't want to be too cruel, but is there a nice way of saying "Your snatch smells like roadkill?"
Author:  ace_of_spades [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Give me a second to stop laughing hysterically. Haha, make that a minute :D

OK. I'm done. I'm not sure if this is specifically because she hadn't showered that day (having sex in there works too :D), but if that persists, I'd strongly advise getting checked out (both her and you). STDs are not fun, and many a PUA have wrestled with this problem.

In fairness though, the only smelly snatch I've ever encountered was my first gf when she was still a virgin (man was that ages ago :D). I guess after we started fucking she improved on the hygiene front; or perhaps smelly snatches are a property of all virgins. Can't say I've slept with enough to present empirical data for my case, but if your 'girlfriend' (I couldnt resist...) was expecting a lay and still 'smelled like roadkill' (thats going in my awesome quotes book!), she might require medical attention.
Author:  nowanda [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
hey

dont waste your time-tell her!!!

tell her you have commitment problems,you are
seeing someone else or even better that you re gay:)

if she needs a simple shower-lead her to the bathroom with you-
pretend like it is just a fantasy and wash her pussy.
Author:  Chino Kapone [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
this is what you do...

Take a shower with her... get it on in the shower and say you want to do something really sexy with her. Tell her you want to shave her. Wash her snatch, then grab a trimmer, trim a little landing strip then shave it clean. Be easy, and give her the ability to do the same for you. If she really wants your tongue between her legs she will let this go. If you put on some sexy music and make it sensual, she will be all about it. Your girlfriend will love it. :lol::lol:

Personally, i absolutely will not go down on a woman if there is a funky smell or if it tastes like a tart vinegar. to test... slowly make your way down to her stomach and tease her... if you get a rank smell by the time you reach the belly button... ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!!!

Do not go down on a woman when you first meet her. Unless you really want to contract herpes.
Author:  Bonita [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!!!
hahaha
Author:  svenska [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Why
would you want to go there?

google.com is a good start in situations like this.

Here's what I found:

http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/symptoms/ ... causes.htm
Author:  Bonita [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why
Quote:
would you want to go there?

Well I am a girl so I def don't want to go there! haha
Author:  Roads [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why
Quote:
Quote:
would you want to go there?

Well I am a girl so I def don't want to go there! haha
I would think that, you being a girl (you keep reaffirming that don't you) means you probably should check out the link svenska provided for the benefit of your future boyfriends. :P
Author:  Reo [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
if she smells that bad she probably has a Yeast infection and its not going away without medication. Tell hey baby i think you may have a yeast infection and to get it checked out

as for her bush drop hints tell her "I think its sexy when girls shave down there"

P.S dont be scared to say no
Author:  Chino Kapone [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
if she smells that bad she probably has a Yeast infection and its not going away without medication. Tell hey baby i think you may have a yeast infection and to get it checked up

as for her bush drop hints tell her "I think its sexy when girls shave down there"
If you see cottage cheese, avoid grabbing a spoon.
Author:  Neo-the one [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude, I'm gonna wake up in the middle of the night, think about this, shiver violently, then go back to a nightmarish sleep.

If she had cheese on the taco, I would have just bailed right there. Think about it...if you had a smell to your wienerschnitzel, she would not hesitate to tell you about it, and in a cruel way.

Just tell her "you can call me when you get some Massengil, and you can see me again when you learn to use it"

She will get the hint.
Author:  shaggy2299 [ Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Gross but serious question. Please advise
Quote:
"Your snatch smells like roadkill?"
that's the quote of the week !! although now I've stopped laughing I feel your pain, been in exactly the same situation and never did manage to tell her.

I started seeing this girl 3 years ago for about 6 months, and I too dare not upset her either at the time, but for my own selfish reasons rather than for her feelings as she was multi orgasmic, she regularly came 12-15 times and our record was 21 times in one amazing session (just to clarify.. I'm pretty convinced anyone who stayed hard enough and moved back and forth long enough would have probably got the same result so this isn't me bragging!!.. I just enjoyed the ride !)

boning her was like being given a free ticket to all the rides at universal studios at once, she was awesome, a dirty mouthed screamer, loved it every which way and as much as you could give for as long as you could give it but the downside was she too had a pussy that stunk like death so I never went down there.

even from straight out of the bath or shower it didn't make much difference after 10 mins of sex the room stunk of out of date pussy :?

in hindsight I'd tell her, worst case is she tells you to get lost, but you'll end up binning her eventually because of it so same result, but the best case is she regularly does a vagina valet and everything is cool and flowery smelling

I'm guessing the thought of telling her about it isn't too appealing, she'll either be embarassed or mad, or upset, so it needs doing carefully if you want to keep seeing her.

I'd suggest next time you withher .. go down on her, then stop and ask if she's been ok over the last week or so, when she asks why say well last time you were down there you noticed a hint of something and thought she may have just come off the end of had an infection or something as there was a slight odour, nothing too bad but it was noticeble, but it's still there and it's a little stronger now..

if that doesn't prompt her to do anything about it then it's a case of either going more direct with "your snatch smells of roadkill" or calling it a day.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:14 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm gonna lean towards infection of some sort, or perhaps she's sweating a lot and then not washing up before sex. Definintely do the belly button check as it was proposed earlier, cause nothing worse than bad smelling and tasting tang to ruin an experience. Hair also traps odors, so getting her to shave will reduce the smell somewhat, although probably not completely from how bad you make it out to be.

If you can get her to go to the doctor and get checked out, then that would be best, but if she comes back clean (as far as tests go, not the stench), then try showering together as foreplay, shower sex, or asking her to douche. Let her know that it isn't that you don't like being with her, it's just that you'd like to enhance the experience and you're not inclined to go down on her again as things stand right now, that will add some leverage if she is reluctant, or offended.
Author:  Dulce [ Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
I always thought it was the other way around.... that a smelly pus meant the girl was used to taking a pounding. Most of the clean-virgin girls Ive encountered had a really pleasent odorless bush, but once they start hit a few times a week it starts going sour. Just my 2 cents.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I always thought it was the other way around.... that a smelly pus meant the girl was used to taking a pounding. Most of the clean-virgin girls Ive encountered had a really pleasent odorless bush, but once they start hit a few times a week it starts going sour. Just my 2 cents.
Then they aren't washing up properly, because that's not the way it should smell.
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