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| Curious experience feedback required https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=26471 |
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| Author: | ferel1 [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Curious experience feedback required |
Following on from an earlier thread. There is this woman I really fancy, were both members of a team and see each other about once a week. I have been trying to get to know her for some time, but whilst she is always polite she never opens up, we have little or no rapport, occasionally I have managed to open her up a bit, only for next time I see her she locked down again. Anyway tonight I had been working with another female member of the team, and we had had a real laugh. In the pub later, I talked to hb that I fancy, and was getting the usual friendly polite response with little encouragement when the woman I had been working with came over and started chatting to us both, generally having a laugh at the experiences we had shared, and saying how much she enjoyed the evening. At this, HB I fancy body language closed right up, and she looked really pissed off, offended, and hurt, like she was my girlfriend and had just caught me in bed with some other bird. Jealous it seemed. Now I am really confused, what does this mean? does she want my body or not? (quick note, she is recently married and I am in a relationship, but I got to have her, if you know what I mean, she is the one) |
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| Author: | Reo [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I don't approve of this situation, one you double posted like 10 days apart you seem obsessed with this girl. Two this girl is married just leave it alone |
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| Author: | B-radd [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
yeah dont fuck up a marriage, its just oneitis. But to answer your question, girls are just like that. They can have a bf, and still like you, and then when another girl comes around and flirts with you, then can still get mad cause there thinking, "if i didnt have a bf he'd totally be mine". Guys do it too, its like having a backup plan |
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| Author: | Bonita [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah I know this site is about the game but i don't think it is about how to break a marriage. That is not cool. I am not trying to diss you but there have to be some limits. |
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| Author: | ferel1 [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the feedback, I understand what you say about the marriage, if there were kids involved I wouldn't get involved, but there isn't and and far as I am concerned all is fair in love and war. Another point with regards to marriage, as 2/3 end in divorce, and the average marriage is about 3-7 years, I don't consider it a major taboo if kids arn't involved. Basically its just a relationship with a certificate. (Different with kids, then it's a family) I don't think two posts about the same woman constitutes obsession, but yes I am very keen, as I said, for me this could be the one. I feel there is potential for a lifetime relationship and family with this woman so I am prepared to go the extra mile to win her over. (But I am no stalker weirdo) hence the reason I have popped on here for some feedback/ideas/assistance. As I said before, I have no problem just going out and pulling a bird in a bar/ supermarket wherever. I guess I know the answer, I just got to go for it next time the opportunity arises, and either take my reward or my punishment. It seems to me, quite a few guys on here fall for a certain girl, but it is frowned upon by this community, perhaps there should be a thread for how to get "That Girl". In fact I think I will start one. |
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| Author: | Bonita [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey there. I do understand that you really fancy this girl. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in "the one" and that when you meet them, you will know. That said, I read your rebutle on your thread about divorce and such. It such a messy thing these days and it is a shame the statistics are such. But just because divorce is generally accepted and common today, doesnt mean you have the right to make her into another statistic. Think of the emotional, physical, and financial burden this will have on her. Even if she does have a divorce, the likihood of her being ready to emotionally commit to another man so soon is very little. Another thing I am worried about is that you say she is polite, but doesn't really open up to you often and she often shuts down on you. Unless there is more to the story that I don't know...this to me, demonstrates a lack of interest on her part. There is a psychological concept called confirmation bias. This means that people tend to seek out evidence that supoprts their hypothesis (i.e she looked angry when a girl talked to me, this means the girl likes me) and ignore any evidence that contradicts that hypothesis (i.e. she doesn't open up, she is married, she could have been mad for another reason etc...). Sorry this is so long, but you seem in a tough position so I wanted to be as thorough as possible. Many people divorce today because of infidelity, but many couples stay together and fight to keep the marriage alive (she did marry this guy for a reason!) But from the info I was given, I don't see a clear sign on interest on her part and a divorce is something that will haunt HER forever (you have nothing to lose from pursuing her). I think you should take her well-being into more consideration. If you truly believe she is "the one," then things will work out. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Man, ask yourself, if you had this girl... Would you stay with her for the rest of your life, would you cherish her and care for her in good times and in bad... Would you give her a better life than she has already? If not... Get another girl. |
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| Author: | ferel1 [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Man, ask yourself, if you had this girl... Would you stay with her for the rest of your life, would you cherish her and care for her in good times and in bad... Would you give her a better life than she has already?
Absolutely, that's the whole point. I 'm not just trying to break up a relationship here, but start a new and better one. I may be a git, but I'm not that much of one If not... Get another girl. 
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| Author: | ferel1 [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Hey there. I do understand that you really fancy this girl. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in "the one" and that when you meet them, you will know.
The psychology angle is quite interesting, although i think it is too early to say for certain, conversation opportunities have been limited to brief 1 or 2 minute chats except on one occasion where there was a 2 hour working together situation, on this occasion, rapport was built and we got on very well, however the next two minute convo was the same relatively closed affair. That said, she is like this with everyone, male and female, and she is starting to open up more. honestly she is very shy, everyone says so. I will continue with my plan and keep you up to date.
That said, I read your rebutle on your thread about divorce and such. It such a messy thing these days and it is a shame the statistics are such. But just because divorce is generally accepted and common today, doesnt mean you have the right to make her into another statistic. Think of the emotional, physical, and financial burden this will have on her. Even if she does have a divorce, the likihood of her being ready to emotionally commit to another man so soon is very little. Another thing I am worried about is that you say she is polite, but doesn't really open up to you often and she often shuts down on you. Unless there is more to the story that I don't know...this to me, demonstrates a lack of interest on her part. There is a psychological concept called confirmation bias. This means that people tend to seek out evidence that supoprts their hypothesis (i.e she looked angry when a girl talked to me, this means the girl likes me) and ignore any evidence that contradicts that hypothesis (i.e. she doesn't open up, she is married, she could have been mad for another reason etc...). Sorry this is so long, but you seem in a tough position so I wanted to be as thorough as possible. Many people divorce today because of infidelity, but many couples stay together and fight to keep the marriage alive (she did marry this guy for a reason!) But from the info I was given, I don't see a clear sign on interest on her part and a divorce is something that will haunt HER forever (you have nothing to lose from pursuing her). I think you should take her well-being into more consideration. If you truly believe she is "the one," then things will work out. |
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