bump for any further advice
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| What happened here? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=26312 |
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| Author: | Raven1907 [ Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | What happened here? |
Ok first off, I am a newbie to the mystery method/pua techniques but I haven't had a particularly unsuccessful time with women beforehand. My longest term girlfried in the past (20 months or so) was a 10 and a model (and 7 years older than me) and I've had a few 9's. However, I've suffered a little kick in the gut in the past 24 months or so and been in a lull, going for 6's when i shouldn't due to insecurities etc. I’ve been what I term single for about 18 months Anyway, onto a recent case which was the first time i conciously used material in the MM having only come across it recently. So i'm at this conference. Part of my job is to interact with conference sponsors and their marketing people. Don't like doing it because it's normally old men or women who only want to talk about accounting. So two weeks ago I'm at the event waiting for the sponsor to turn up, low and behold HB9.5 (IMHO) arrives. Jackpot. We start talking and get on quite well, now normally I leave after an hour, but we talked for 3 hours straight with no real pauses aside from to get coffee or talk to delegates. I conciously threw some DHV's in to the conversation to which I had a genuine "i'm really impressed, most guys have no clue what they're doing with their lives" and a few more about how intelligent i am and I really know what i want, etc. Anyway, so i left the event having telegraphed very little interest (from body language to things i'd said, or not, as the case may be) but i had her number for work. On that friday, I call her up make small talk and ask her if she knows anything about lebanese food, she says "no, what's it like" to which i reply "dunno, but a friend of mine has been going on about this really nice restaurant that I have to check out, she wont shut up about it. I think you and me should check it out next tuesday" She pauses "yeah that'd be nice" We agree thursday. She sends me a follow up text "thanks for the call it was a really lovely end to the day". So a few basic texts and one call where I play a “personality game” to help choose the restaurant (she has no idea why I asked such a weird question but was fascinated, so still congruent), but anyway, date night. She meets me at the station and calls to see where I am, I can see her, she cant see me, i tell her “turn around, no the other way, no no the other way…. Do you feel stupid spinning around on the spot?” she says yeah a little at which point I palm the small of her back, she turns and kiss on the cheek and make our way to restaurant. So to speed this up. Enter the restaurant, shes fascinated as to how close the place she described in the personality game is to the actual restaurant. The date is going on we’re talking and I’m taking the opportunity to DHV, in particular protector of loved ones stories (have a truck load from real life so I find it easier), leader of men and preselected by women. Supported by things about travel, goals, ambition, cultural things etc. few negs (very little ones) Played the cube, did a little very little, palm reading, and kino’d at every opportunity. But something was off as far as I was concerned, despite the fact we’d more or less talked non stop for 4 hours, I felt nothing. So I played my rule, if it goes well “I pay” if it goes badly “50/50”. Bill comes, I put my card in, she says “50/50” I don’t disagree and I think she thinks its off too. Walk her to the station and lean in for a kiss on the cheek, pull back slightly and she grabs my shirt and pulls in for a kiss, obviously, I reciprocate. I walk her further into the station, we kiss again. I get a text message later that night “thank you for an amazing evening” (texts now with added “X” kisses). The following morning I sent her a message “had a really good time last night. Food was good, music was cool if strange, and there was a belly dancer too! Oh and you weren’t bad either” she replies “I’m really glad you had a nice time. Me too.X ” Anyway, I left it making no contact over the weekend and on Monday tried giving her a call, she didn’t pick up but sent a text message instantly saying “can’t talk at my desk but how are you, how was weekend, etc” no kiss at the end. I didn’t text back for a while, eventually did and we had a few more messages back and forth but they seemed a little cold. Anyway I send her a message that evening “you keep popping into my head so “hey” but can you leave now I’m trying to sleep”. The next day I send her a quick message “give me call when you catch five minutes” ( I think I can see the problem). She doesn’t respond and then that evening I get this “Hey sorry 4 being awol today. I’ve got some crap stuff going on, been at home. I’m not in a very good place right now, can’t really cope with anything else.X” Which is either genuine. Or more likely a brush off. To which I reply “I’m really sorry to hear you’re down. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. Give me a call if you want to talk.” That was last tuesday. That’s it, that’s the last communication. Now a couple of thing’s might have happened in my opinion. Over the weekend she told her friends about the date (something she admitted she does) and me. They talked her out of the idea of dating someone younger than her (im 23 she’s 27, the youngest person she’d dated in the past was at least 5 years older than her) or did the old school catty “sounds like a great guy, why should she have him”. I can see now I might have seemed a little needy with the last round of texts. But honestly I don’t know I’m fully willing to accept responsibility for what went wrong. One thing I’ve absolutely learned is that it is my fault when things go wrong. Regardless of her friends if I’d had tighter game it wouldn’t have mattered what happened over the weekend. I’ve decided to not follow up with any further correspondence no text, call or email. Am I right in that? Can you guys pick holes and also recommend a course of action, if any, to salvage. I’ll be honest I like the girl, but most of it is motivated by physical attraction rather than emotional or mental (which is important). Thanks, I appreciate it. I'll answer any questions. |
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| Author: | Raven1907 [ Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Guys any advice would be really appreciated. |
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| Author: | Seraph_20 [ Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
By the sounds of it you really didnt do anything wrong. Yeah perhaps a bit needy with the last bit of txting but tbh I think she really wanted you and shes just just not in a good place right now. She may have some depression issues going on or a boyfriend she didnt tell you about and is now feeling guilty?!? You've shown her you are willing to help if she gives you a call so i dont think you need to reiterate that at all. Maybe give her a little push in the right direction and say im going out for a coffee at lunch (whatever fits) meet me there at ..... at x o'clock. Treat it as a bit of an ultimatum. If she flakes you again leave it alone, shes got all sorts going on and you probably dont want to be caught up in that. I reckon with a more forceful demand of meeting you there and then it may stir her into action which often ppl suffering from depression need. Anyway that my look on it but it is your choice mate |
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| Author: | Sexcellent [ Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
those last few texts were a bit needy, but i don't think that's what set her off. perhaps you should have semi-time-bridged for a day 3. also, she might be on her period right now, and might be dealing with some other issues. perhaps when it passes she'll open up to you again. freezing her out might be the best idea, but i'm not sure. i've been in that situation when things seem like they can't go any better, and then you suddenly get some kinda flakege. the good news is it's definitely not over. i'd like to see some suggestions from the more experienced PUA's. They've probably seen this 100 times. |
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| Author: | Raven1907 [ Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thank's guys. Advice from some experienced guys would go some way as sexcellent suggested. Any further ideas? |
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| Author: | Raven1907 [ Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
bump for any further advice
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