PUA Forum :: So I Did My First Approach Today In A While!

I have no problems talking to women customers at work. Subconsciously, I think it's my uniform. It gives me a sense of higher value and authority and I guess this relieves the tension. But I come across really confident, even a little arrogant at times!

My approach today was non threathening and I didn't invade their space.

So any advice guys on the points above?

How can I approach better next time??

Zato, thats gold advice.

I just find it difficult to approach. That I feel is my only problem. Once I'm in, I can usually get them in the comfortable phase but then pushing towards the seducer stage is another hurdle.

How do you approach without wimping out? I really don't know what's stopping me. The fear of rejection?? Thats so minor though.

Author:	vat_fagina [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:00 am ]
Post subject:	So I Did My First Approach Today In A While!
I've been beating myself up about it for a few days how I need to open! Do anything damn it! So I was in Tesco, looking for some moisturiser. I couldn't find the one I was looking for. So here I am, standing with a confused look on my face when these 2 girls walk up and stand right next to me (they were looking for a product). I open with a silly line like..."Hey guys I was wondering if you could help me find a product. It seems like everytime I come to Tesco's, I leave my eyes at home. I'm looking for blah blah blah....." They look around for it whilst I describe to them what it looks like. They recommend a different product to me. We have a little banter. Whilst talking to them, I notice: 1. I'm speaking too fast. Too fast for 2 strangers. Its different speaking fast with people you know because they'll know what you're saying even if you don't fully say it! 2. I felt I needed to get my point across fast. It felt like a race against the clock. Like, any moment now I will lose them 3. I hardly made eye contact! This I know is detrimental! 4. I felt I wasn't quick enough with the wit. I'm usually lightning! I felt my conversation didn't come out as confident as I'd liked and I feel they sensed that. I was nervous! Although, they did want to continue talking, but I crippled myself by thinking, 'this aint me!' I can handle situations like this! I have no problems talking to women customers at work. Subconsciously, I think it's my uniform. It gives me a sense of higher value and authority and I guess this relieves the tension. But I come across really confident, even a little arrogant at times! My approach today was non threathening and I didn't invade their space. I think if my conversation was slightly more fluid today, I could've closed one of them. So any advice guys on the points above? How can I approach better next time??[/list]

Author:	Zato-1 [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:
dude, get out of your head. For an opener like that, you need to escalate afterwards, really fast. The more you stay platonic, the more useless your talk. You: Oh cool, you think I should get that?? That's sexy. HB: hehe. You: I remembered last week * insert DHV story here * HB:.... Ok... You: What's up with you guys? Qualify right away too. So that you're the chooser. Go in field more. You'll be able to cross over this problem. It's very minor, get your AA under control and you'll be unstoppable.

Author:	Diaz [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: So I Did My First Approach Today In A While!
Quote: I have no problems talking to women customers at work. Subconsciously, I think it's my uniform. It gives me a sense of higher value and authority and I guess this relieves the tension. But I come across really confident, even a little arrogant at times! its probably not your uniform, its practice. I could bet my money on it, that you were nervous with your first customer/client. But after a while (enough practice) its nothing special anymore. Start approaching more women and it will become just as natural for you as it is at work. Quote: My approach today was non threathening and I didn't invade their space. There is a reason why opinion openers are non threatening, because women think you only want an opinion.. and that's what you did, you asked for an opinion and didn't game them. Quote: So any advice guys on the points above? How can I approach better next time?? Confidence, believe in yourself and Practice, Practice, Practice.

Author:	vat_fagina [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Zato, thats gold advice. I just find it difficult to approach. That I feel is my only problem. Once I'm in, I can usually get them in the comfortable phase but then pushing towards the seducer stage is another hurdle. How do you approach without wimping out? I really don't know what's stopping me. The fear of rejection?? Thats so minor though.

Author:	Archangel White Rose [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Lay back, relax and enjoy it! Your asking them about products, not if you can get down on your knees and lick their pussy, no need to get excited, only relaxed and confident. Keep working on your skills, all it takes is practice.

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Author:	Zato-1 [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Zato, thats gold advice. I just find it difficult to approach. That I feel is my only problem. Once I'm in, I can usually get them in the comfortable phase but then pushing towards the seducer stage is another hurdle. How do you approach without wimping out? I really don't know what's stopping me. The fear of rejection?? Thats so minor though. You can just follow the 3 secod rule. Or, the three minute rule. If those don't work, and if it's an inner game problem you need to have a mindset. If you can control the voice in your head, than you can control your actions. Physiology first. Fix your Body Language. Are you slouching? Are you walking too fast? Here's what you can do with your BL so you can feel more confident. Chest out stomach in Hands at your side You can put one hand in your pocket with your thumb sticking out ( this shows dominance, and a sense of superiority. ) Never look down, look up or to the side ( slowly ) Some of this I got from other posts. Now for your mindset: Look at the girl, don't look away, you're going to approach no matter what. " I like this girl, I really want to get to know her, I'm going to talk to her and get a close. " Note: You are being outcome-oriented not outcome attached. There is a difference. You need to know where you are going, and what you want to do.

Author:	vat_fagina [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Zato, ur great man! My body language is good I feel wheen I talk and my hands are always by my side, I gesture alot too. I have to stop myself walking too fast sometimes though. I approached another girl today. It was a good interaction. I can see myself getting comfortable with this. It's just that I need to strengthen my approach skills. Wat is the 3 second rule?

Author:	Cloak&Swagger [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:
You have to approach within three seconds of seeing a girl you desire, otherwise you're going to get into your head and blow the set. If you haven't already you need to read Magic Bullets and Mystery Method, they both cover basics like this.

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