Hi thank you for viewing my topic
Somehow I got involved in a drama that i never talked about.
I got an email telling me that she thinks that I should forget about her.
So I asked her if thats what she really wanted. She kept saying "No, but that would be selfish"
So I asked again as a 100percent yes or no.
She said no. dont go.
But heres the email
She said this in an email out of no where.
So..
This is awkward..
BUT I have been thinking of what you said on the phone.
AND I AM SORRY!
I am the most lousiest friend ever!
I am sorry about everything!
I waste your time,
and I don't get why you even care at all..!
I dragged you into all of this drama with my family,
and I shouldnt Have.
I don't want to move,
How can you say I would be USED TO IT?!
...
But I am sorry, I just..
Oh GOD.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, SORRY!
Sorry doesn't even cut it!
Then of course I ask you 'how i make it up to you?'
But that never helps,
I alwasy "try" to make it up to you
But that never happens!
Sorry sorry sorry sorry!!
I think you should just forget about me.
Highschool will be awkward though..
..
Yeah I decided to stay..
But, I can't even do anything to get my mind of of this.
Reading has never been so complicated!
I am sorry!
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!
><
I am such an IDIOT
I'm a jerk
a stupid friend
very selfish
rude
retarded
confused
hateful
stupid
and I don't get why anybody would like me as a friend!
Those words don't even cut it!
So I AM SORRY!
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY..!!!!!
That's the reason why I called!
I just wanted to say SORRY
Oh GOD I am SORRY.!
So..
I can't even find a word to describe this..
Sorry...
Here is what I said after I asked if she truly wanted me to leave.
But I'm not sure If I did the right thing.
Bailey,
I dont like typing cheesy notes but im going to make one
I Enjoyed the first few months we started talking again. But lately it hasnt happened the past weeks.
I heard about that triangle rumor a long time ago. It seems that Cathrine was the one who started it. And I was innocent
Bailey. You have really great friends. I enjoyed talking to them almost as much as I enjoyed talking with you. But they ruined it for me.
But I understood recently that they didn't ruin it for me. At least they didn't mean to. It was your life. I heard things from you that I shouldn't be involved in. Although I never asked for it, or ever did anything about it. It happened.
Your life has been very unsatisfying ever since we started talking alot more. You can't even read anymore.
I don't know what your thinking about thats making you sad.
So I'm going to leave until what your thinking about will be a happy thing.
I would just be another burden and make what your thinking even worse.
I wouldn't know how, but It would happen somehow.
Hopefully what you want will happen one day.
A better life.
Me being in your life wouldnt make what you want come true.
I'm doing whats best to make you happy.
And me being there just makes you not happy.
One day when the time comes that your life is enjoyable.
I'll be there to enjoy it with you.
For now I' won't be there to talk to you. (I'm not your therapist anyway)
When what you truly want does be there
Then I will be there to talk about it with you
All your sorrys.
I Can't Forgive you.
Nor Can You Make it up to me.
Until You Have your "better life".
For now, sort your life out and fix all the things that are making you this way.
I've already helped with 1.
Eventually when all your problems are fixed
Then we could probably be back to the way it used to be.
I'm not tolerating whats happening right now though.
Talk to me when you lighten up.
Good bye.
P.S. Your Utah Boyfriend Called Me Today, I found it funny he didn't even know your name. (He sounded like you)
Talk to them 435-503-1484
The next email she gave me ended up something that made me wonder if she truly wanted me or not.
I don't like cheesy emails either but this is all I can say!
You helped me out a lot!
And.. omg.. David, don't go!
You just assume..
And if you really want me to have a "good life" you wouldn't go!
We went through this, we would just forget about everything that has happened lately.
This is unfair.
You can't do this!
I know that is selfish, but you can't!
And with the triangle drama, it was just rumors that I liked you when Desiree did..
Which wasn't true, I am sorry..
But--- I don't know, from the last couple of days I am not sure if that is true anymore.
Just..omg David don't just leave me like this!!
And I don't care about the birch bay kid! [he did have a girl's voice, I told you]
I fidn that impossible to call him NOW.
Well... fine, if you do go, I hope you're doing WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU!
but if you really want to go... fine. Thanks though for everything. Yo don't knwo how much half of the stuff meant.
Nobody has ever been so nice to me at times.
I was never a nice guy to her though.
I was the jerk she wanted.
Do you think I did the right thing?
Does she truly want to be with me?
