PUA Forum :: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?

"Can I have your number?"

This is a bit low value as you are asking the girl, she can refuse, and it's like you want something from her to make you feel better or give you validation. However, in the right context and with the right tone of voice and frame, it can work. I wouldn't encourage it though.

"Give me your number"

More commanding and alpha and good to use if you've established an understanding of compliance from her. However if not, this can backfire as she can easily say "No". Again, context is the key and this isn't one I'd encourage, especially for newbies.

"What's the best way to get in contact with you?"

A little bit more low value, but tends to work well in a variety contexts so it's useful as a back up. It's often good to use this if one of the other routes don't work. I was chatting with a girl the other day who honestly didn't actually know her own number (after using the line below). After I said this line, she took out her phone, asked me to put my number in, and then texted me to make sure

"What's your number?"

This in my opinion is the best as it's just a straight forward factual question, like "What's your name?" or "What time is it?" It's more likely to get a positive response. If you're into NLP, you'll notice that this has an implicit bind - she can only answer this question by giving you her number! If she can't for some reason, use the line above...!

It also helps with the last line to take out your phone while you're saying this, as though you presume that she will give you it (which in most cases she will) which helps with the compliance frame that she is about to give you it.

Author:	d.humper [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:15 am ]
Post subject:	# closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Hey guys, once the HB feels close to you, what's wrong with just asking for her # directly? Why is "Is there anyway we could continue this conversation?" highly suggested?

Author:	Illusun [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:25 am ]
Post subject:
Beats me. To me, asking directly is much more alpha. Asking if there's "any way" we can continue this conversation seems AFC because it beats around the bush and puts the decision making in their hands. Telling them to give you their number so that they can further enjoy your company is how you want to go about it.

Author:	d.humper [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:00 am ]
Post subject:
YEA. I was thinking about it just now agian, and the indirect way seems pretty non-alpha compared to directly asking/commanding with "Give me your #".

Author:	V69 [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:50 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah I usualy say blah blah, we should talk again, continues this, etc, "what's your number?" Simply put.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:41 am ]
Post subject:
Nothing is wrong with it. When I get a girl's number, it is never by using some line like, "What steps can we take to continue this?" When you get to the point where things are good and you are able to get her number, pull out your phone, open it up to the 'add new contact' screen and hand it to her, she'll know exactly what to do. You can even say, "Here, give me your number" when you are doing it, or if she doesn't know what to do, say, "It's a phone, never seen one before? Enter your number silly!" In a playful tone of course.

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# closing- whats wrong with directly asking? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=25301	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Chief [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Quote: Why is "Is there anyway we could continue this conversation?" highly suggested? Let's rephrase your question from passive form to assertive. "Why is blah blah blah suggested?" lacks an actor performing the action. Psychologists often consider people who use this language structure as more withdrawn and more likely to avoid responsibility. Now, let's try saying that sentence assertively by asking, "Why does ____ highly suggest saying that?" What belongs in the blank? The answer can be many names or phrases, including but not limited to "Mystery" and "Indirect Game." Indirect Game is to Aikido as Pickup is to Martial Arts. There are many schools of thought teaching different disciplines in this field, and don't let ANYONE tell you "this is the one and only true way to follow." Direct Game is a very popular route to follow and focuses a lot more on alpha male characteristics. I usually number-close directly.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Quote: Indirect Game is to Aikido as Pickup is to Martial Arts. I believe you meant "Indirect Game is to Pickup, as Aikido is to Martial Arts." Throws chair at self in anticipation of Chief

Author:	Chief [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?

Author:	Rye Lee [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Quote: I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that being a grammer nazi is one of my pass times?

Author:	Chief [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Quote: Quote: I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that being a grammer nazi is one of my pass times? It's "grammar," not "grammer." OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUUUUURRRNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Author:	Rye Lee [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: # closing- whats wrong with directly asking?
Quote: Quote: Quote: I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that being a grammer nazi is one of my pass times? It's "grammar," not "grammer." OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUUUUURRRNNNN!!!!!!!!! Does the walk of shame I totally thought of deleting your post and correcting my spelling, lol. Ahh mod powers. (Ahhh, but don't forget that I can edit your posts to misspell every word you've ever typed Ahh, mod powers. -Chief)

Author:	fsidontknow [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:01 am ]
Post subject:
the problem is that you shouldnt ask! you should tell her to give you her number

Author:	karlostm [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:20 am ]
Post subject:
OK my 2 pence... There are four main ways to ask for a number (there are more than 4, but these are the main ones and serve to show my point for comparison purposes): "Can I have your number?" This is a bit low value as you are asking the girl, she can refuse, and it's like you want something from her to make you feel better or give you validation. However, in the right context and with the right tone of voice and frame, it can work. I wouldn't encourage it though. "Give me your number" More commanding and alpha and good to use if you've established an understanding of compliance from her. However if not, this can backfire as she can easily say "No". Again, context is the key and this isn't one I'd encourage, especially for newbies. "What's the best way to get in contact with you?" A little bit more low value, but tends to work well in a variety contexts so it's useful as a back up. It's often good to use this if one of the other routes don't work. I was chatting with a girl the other day who honestly didn't actually know her own number (after using the line below). After I said this line, she took out her phone, asked me to put my number in, and then texted me to make sure . "What's your number?" This in my opinion is the best as it's just a straight forward factual question, like "What's your name?" or "What time is it?" It's more likely to get a positive response. If you're into NLP, you'll notice that this has an implicit bind - she can only answer this question by giving you her number! If she can't for some reason, use the line above...! It also helps with the last line to take out your phone while you're saying this, as though you presume that she will give you it (which in most cases she will) which helps with the compliance frame that she is about to give you it. Hope that makes sense and helps you. I'm gonna post this as a separate thread so everyone can see!

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: "Can I have your number?" This is a bit low value as you are asking the girl, she can refuse, and it's like you want something from her to make you feel better or give you validation. However, in the right context and with the right tone of voice and frame, it can work. I wouldn't encourage it though. I would add that this is your average AFC line. Its not one that will destroy any chance you have with the girl, but as you said it will lower your value. Quote: "Give me your number" More commanding and alpha and good to use if you've established an understanding of compliance from her. However if not, this can backfire as she can easily say "No". Again, context is the key and this isn't one I'd encourage, especially for newbies. Besides context, delivery is also key with this line. Quote: "What's the best way to get in contact with you?" A little bit more low value, but tends to work well in a variety contexts so it's useful as a back up. It's often good to use this if one of the other routes don't work. I was chatting with a girl the other day who honestly didn't actually know her own number (after using the line below). After I said this line, she took out her phone, asked me to put my number in, and then texted me to make sure . If you use this line at a business party or in a business environment, I don't think it will lower your value at all. As it has a business speak/sound to it. Use it out side of the business environment and I agree it can lower your value. Almost more than "Can I have your number". Quote: "What's your number?" This in my opinion is the best as it's just a straight forward factual question, like "What's your name?" or "What time is it?" It's more likely to get a positive response. If you're into NLP, you'll notice that this has an implicit bind - she can only answer this question by giving you her number! If she can't for some reason, use the line above...! I also agree its the best general line to use out of the 4 main ones mentioned here. Quote: It also helps with the last line to take out your phone while you're saying this, as though you presume that she will give you it (which in most cases she will) which helps with the compliance frame that she is about to give you it. The same can be applies for "Give me your number" as well.

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