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Friend Zone?
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Author:  BusinessTime [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:08 am ]
Post subject:  Friend Zone?
I'm very confused with some mixed signals I'm getting from this girl.

There is this hb8.5, I have known for quite awhile but she has just been my friend's roommate, and has had a bf for awhile. I've known her for a few months but have never really hung out with her alone.

Last time I hung out with some friends and she was there. We were very touchy feely the whole night and I was getting some iois. Although I never felt a feeling of 'it's on' we planned to hang out later in the week.
I ended up sleeping in the same bed as her that night(it was a crowded house, there were no other beds), and cuddled a little bit.


The next week, she starts text messaging me about how we should hang out. For 10 or so days, we text message and call each other (she was first one to call) It took awhile but we set a date to hang out (she's very busy with work and lives an hour away so it was hard to get a day to hang out). We finally ended up scheduling plans on her only day off of the week. I talk to her on Saturday and I tell her I don't want to come too early on Sunday and she says 'Well, you can come now' It was 12:30 pm on a saturday night.


Anyways, I go down there to hang out but she brings her female friend along. (I feel this is a very bad sign). But, the friend was in the backseat the whole time. All we did was walk next to each other, and talk to each other. The friend was just in the background really. I didn't totally ignore her, but the vibe was all about me and HB. Later HB says something like 'Oh yea, and thanks [sarcasm] for sleeping with me in that tiny twin bed'
(owch)

FINALLY after a long day, her friend leaves and I'm with her at the house hanging out with her and her roommates. She tells me she is going to take a shower and I tell her I'm thinking about leaving. Then she tells me that I can sleep over if I want (wtf?). Her roommates ask me if we are dating and i say no. It gets late and she asks me if I'm going to watch the rest of the movie that her roommates or watching because she is going to sleep.

She walks me out and gives me a hug goodbye. It was clearly NOT on, it sucked. But, she wants to hang out on her next day off and come up to see me ( i live an hour away). She wants to go to this romantic fucking pageant art show thing.


Should I just cut my losses or try again? Although it's fun hanging out with her, I don't want to waste another night with her if she is totally uninterested in me.

Thoughts?
Author:  Infamous110 [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Kino more on day 2 and don't worry so much about her hovering friend - the friend is only there so she's not cornered if you're a creep. So don't be a creep.

She invited you to sleep over and it's not on? I think the signs were there but you didn't take enough lead.

"no, i'm too tired to watch the rest of the movie - i'm going to steal your bed as i don't want you to feel guilty for me falling asleep while driving"

All you want is for her to be able to tell her roommates "it wasn't planned. he had to stay because XXX and it just felt right."
Author:  Furious Stylez [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:57 am ]
Post subject: 
I got a similar issue. This may make me sound like a pussy tho.

I meet this chick at a party we were both drunk and were foolin around in a feild i cant rember what happend but i know it didnt go to far, turns out she was my buddys ex, and i have issues with his sloppy seconds.

Now me and her are pretty tight, we hang out alot just me and her and we do things that i do with chicks that im dateing but there is no kissing or real physical interaction except when she needs a boost to tag something. I know we are "just freinds" but she dosent treat me like guys she's dating she says that "I am above them". She's about a 9.0 and im about a 5.5 but i get this feeling that there is this sexual tention between us.

So i need to figure out something. Were going camping this weekend she's bringing a boy toy and told me that she would give herself mabey a night in his tent then she would be moving stright to mine. I dont want to fuck up our freindship, but should i try to get that sexualtention out there as in pursue it?
Author:  Infamous110 [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Cocktease.

I reckon she sees you are non-threatening. Still, why not? Build up some playful touching over the day/evening.

"Do you live in the moment? You have that 'I want to kiss you' look in your eye. We shouldn't do that" then kiss her.
Author:  Furious Stylez [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:15 am ]
Post subject: 
i just may try that.

I gota buddy at work that told me to get into the PUA lifestyle and he said i should try and pull the

"sleeping on the ground sucks so im gona give you a massage to make it feel better" move so im thinking between those too i might have a good chance
Author:  BusinessTime [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Kino more on day 2 and don't worry so much about her hovering friend - the friend is only there so she's not cornered if you're a creep. So don't be a creep.

She invited you to sleep over and it's not on? I think the signs were there but you didn't take enough lead.

"no, i'm too tired to watch the rest of the movie - i'm going to steal your bed as i don't want you to feel guilty for me falling asleep while driving"

All you want is for her to be able to tell her roommates "it wasn't planned. he had to stay because XXX and it just felt right."
She invited me to sleep over but I think she just met the couch in the living room. Like, I said she sarcastly 'thanked' me for sharing the small bed with her last time when we stayed at this different house. I felt like I took the lead in that scenerio (since I told her i was going to sleep in her bed) and it backfired.

I don't think she was looking for something to tell her roommates because she doesn't know her roommates at all, she has only lived there for a few weeks and had just met one of the roommates that night.

I also told her I'm going to get a hair cut and she told me that I shouldn't and that she liked guys with long hair (my hair isn't even that long).

Very confused here, never dealt with such a mixed signal girl. I'll probably just cut my losses or make my intentions very clear if she wasn't to hang out again.
Author:  Infamous110 [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I got the impression her roommates were on the couch watching the movie - forcing her to object is better than not giving her a chance. Just go and get into her bed before she does - do it non-sexual.

Also it doesn't matter if she doesn't know them - she still doesn't want them to perceive her as a slut ect. If they don't know her then possibly moreso as they're more judgemental at this stage. Note that this is subconcious.

Get your hair cut - dominance is more attractive than physical features to a woman. The hair (or lack of) won't matter long term. Invite her along so she can see you make yourself "a bit less breathtaking"
Author:  crazy1320 [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:22 am ]
Post subject:  ...
if your in the freind zone just forget about her it aint worth trying to get out of it
Author:  BusinessTime [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: ...
Quote:
if your in the freind zone just forget about her it aint worth trying to get out of it
I see this response a lot. Why exactly isn't it worth it?

By the way, I was able to get out of the friend zone successfully the next time I saw her. I realized how chumpish and defeatist I was acting the first time. I was just sitting there waiting for her to give me a big sign instead of going for it. Pretty much being a huge pussy, and slightly mopey.

So, we met up again and I was in much higher spirits. I gave off the impression that I was a sexual person, I talked about other girls, talked about other relationships, made her qualify herself to me, kinoed a lot. Eventually, I sensed that she was nervous so I just flat out kissed her. After that all the nervous energy was gone, and we ended up opening up a lot to each other, were all over each other, and we fooled around a lot.

Each situation is very different. I can see if someone has been in the friend zone for a very long time and has spent a lot of time in the comfort stage with a woman than it would be more difficult to get out of the zone.

My situation however, involved a girl who I knew, who I saw once in awhile, and who had a bf for most of the time I knew her.

In my case, it was worth it, and it worked. I see lots of responses on these boards saying it isn't worth it to try to get out but people do it successfully all the time.
Author:  industrial_62 [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
well im glad you got out of the infamous friend's zone. I really dont think you were in it that much to begin with though, your seemed more like an aquintance to her than a friend and the more u hung out the more she saw u as a potential suitor. Getting out of the friends zone is usually very difficult. Especially if shes that girl that you've liked for awhile but have been an afc around ur usually just screwed in that case. I have successfully gotten out of the friend zone it just took 4 months too long and me listening to her horrible boy issues and me being the shoulder to cry on until she eventually realized that i was a good match for her but by then it was a little to late bc we did end of having sex quite a few times but the sex just wasnt like it could of been if i didint wait around like an afc.
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