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Framing line gets turned back on me, HELP???!!!
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Author:  cj123 [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Framing line gets turned back on me, HELP???!!!
Oh kay guys typical story and as you can see I have been here since Jan and haven't posted. The reason being is that I've been absorbing all of this info and like a good newbie, use the search button, often.

I have recently come against a comeback to a banter line sorta, that I threw out and got a response I haven't seen on here(although I haven't searched for it). This just happened within the hour and I've always been able to use these starter lines and just riff, or they've gone exactly in a predictable pattern. This one I think is where you guys would say that she is reframing the convo.

So background: This is happening at work today. I chatted with this chick quickly while passing in the halls and shot her an email about a joke in our convo. We are co workers, she's been working here for half a year, and I just came back for the summer to work as I'm away at college. I had however, been working here for a year before I left for college.
She's not a B*tch and we do get on each other from time to time but never deep just things like "do some work"(btw anyone got a good comeback/reframe for that?"

Please see email convo below.

Me: Nice comeback on the calculator! I'll give you two points for that, your going to actually need 15 points, to be considered cool in my books though.
Chick: At least I got two, because so far you have nothing on my books.

It may look like I got dissed bad,…well ye I did…but truly don't know how to turn this into me regaining the upper hand as that lil line has been turned back on me. I was thinking I could ignore it and continue with something like "oouu feisty one more point?"

Clueless CJ123

P.S. We have a after work drinking cruise in two days. We've been going back and forth a few times in the past two weeks, with this cruise coming up now, I think it's time to break out this bantering or I fear i might turn into just her banter buddy at work, any tips on how to accomplish that would be appreciated.
Author:  Quiddy [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Well she's kinda flirting with you... but dont take it too seriously. She's testing you because you tested her with the 15 pts thing. I'd say something like "Damn, I didnt know you thought so much of me. Par is a pretty a kick ass score considering I havent even tried to get into the negatives yet..." Or something like that that turns it around.
Author:  cj123 [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well she's kinda flirting with you... but dont take it too seriously. She's testing you because you tested her with the 15 pts thing. I'd say something like "Damn, I didnt know you thought so much of me. Par is a pretty a kick ass score considering I havent even tried to get into the negatives yet..." Or something like that that turns it around.
She's hispanic and might not be into golf that much to understand that one, but I like where your going with it. You've addressed the score which I was considering on not doing, because it seemed impossible to turn around. It's already too late I've let it slide. Based on your concept though for the future, I need to be in a mindset of taking anything given to me and turning it as a compliment.

And even if it's stupid I'll say something because now I've left it dead,(we've joked since then but didn't address it) and what do you think i look like in her eyes now?
Author:  Rye Lee [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
If a girl turns that line around on you, then just smile (or laugh playfully if over the phone) and say, "That's ok, I don't need points to be cool, I'm already cool enough, but you've got to work on it." (wink/tongue emoticon if it's over text)

The idea is to not try and evade it and try and confuse her or anything, just straight up let her know that the game doesn't apply to you, just her. This shows her that you're the prize and not her and now she's gotta work to stay on top of things.
Author:  cj123 [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
WOW so simple, yet powerful thanks. It had crossed my mind but being that, that way of thinking wasn't internalized the thought got lost amongst other possible responses.

Definitely a way of thinking I have to internalize which I am trying to do by listening to swingcat's audio tapes. It's funny how your response is congruent with the very method I am listening to.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
WOW so simple, yet powerful thanks. It had crossed my mind but being that, that way of thinking wasn't internalized the thought got lost amongst other possible responses.

Definitely a way of thinking I have to internalize which I am trying to do by listening to swingcat's audio tapes. It's funny how your response is congruent with the very method I am listening to.
Not a problem man. Keep working on internalizing that way of thinking and after a while it becomes first nature, even when you're not "on". I think the best part about it, is that even when you're having a crappy day, or not feeling very good and an opportunity to say something funny and playful like this comes along, then it always brings a smile to you and them.
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