PUA Forum :: How do I get girls to stop flaking on me?

This is getting pretty fucking annoying. Over the past few months this is the 5th time in a row a woman as flaked on either the first or second date. 4 of the women I met online and the other at a bar. I know usually online girls are more flakely but man what the fuck.

It's usually I get their number, set up a date and they just straight up flake without even canceling the date. Usually I call/text them the day of the day and I just get no response. Some of these women will call/text me like 2-3 days later with some random excuses as to why they didn't contact me.

It's like for some reason the women I meet have absolutely no respect for me or my time and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I know 5 women over the past few months is a really low number but im working on my game (thats why I'm here). I wish I could just ignore it and go pick up some more girls but I don't have the game to go out and pick up new girls every weekend so these few opportunities I have are important.

This wasn't planned far ahead or anything, I planned it at like midnight last night over AIM. I got her number, txt'ed with her a few times last night, planned to meet today around 12 for lunch. I told her I'd call her about 12 and we'll decide where we are going to meet. She seemed enthusiastic about it. Sorry I can't copy and paste the exact conversation because it was over AIM and I didn't log it.

Anyway today I call her at 12, she didn't pick up, left a voice mail and txt'ed her. It's now almost 1 and I haven't heard from her.

I swear it's almost as if women have zero respect for me or my time. I'm seriously close to just saying fuck it with women and not bothering anymore. No I'm not going to go gay, I just won't pursue women anymore. Whats the point in picking up women if they are all flakes? Not fun.

A whole 1 hour and she hasn't replied to a voicemail AND a text? oh my gosh. Maybe she actually is busy?

I don't really do online game, and here's the reason. You're an attractive girl in a bar of 50 guys - the maximum approaches you'll get is 50 tonight. You're an attractive girl online and you can look forward to 4159872432816423 approaches tonight. That being said, I have met a couple of girls from online and it's gone very well - but i think the reason for this is that i didn't expect anything.

try calling a girl out on flaking before you arrange to meet.

"How reliable are you on a scale of 1-10?" or "Alright so we'll meet at X but i want to know that you'll be there because flakiness is a pet-peeve of mine"

At least then, assuming this is on the phone, if they don't answer you wholeheartedly, you can tell them you don't want to know and to forget the whole thing.

Author:	Sac916 [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:34 am ]
Post subject:	How do I get girls to stop flaking on me?
This is getting pretty fucking annoying. Over the past few months this is the 5th time in a row a woman as flaked on either the first or second date. 4 of the women I met online and the other at a bar. I know usually online girls are more flakely but man what the fuck. It's usually I get their number, set up a date and they just straight up flake without even canceling the date. Usually I call/text them the day of the day and I just get no response. Some of these women will call/text me like 2-3 days later with some random excuses as to why they didn't contact me. It's like for some reason the women I meet have absolutely no respect for me or my time and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I know 5 women over the past few months is a really low number but im working on my game (thats why I'm here). I wish I could just ignore it and go pick up some more girls but I don't have the game to go out and pick up new girls every weekend so these few opportunities I have are important.

Author:	dannydub619 [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:36 am ]
Post subject:
Maybe you are DLV yourself to them. Make them feel lucky to go on a date with you, and that if they flake, their loss. Easier said than done I know. Plus try to meet girls in person instead of online. Im sure they get freaked out at the last minute because they dont know who they are meeting.

Author:	Reo [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:00 am ]
Post subject:
Don't even worry bout those girls they're beneath u. i had a girl on facebook flake well not exactly but she was cool with meeting up then out of no where she went so far as to make up a fake relationship... that was something a little child would do. get yourself a woman not a child that would waste your time so forget about those girls and move on I'll give you some credit at least you got balls to talk to the girls in the first place

Author:	Smarts [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How do I get girls to stop flaking on me?
Quote: This is getting pretty fucking annoying. Over the past few months this is the 5th time in a row a woman as flaked on either the first or second date. 4 of the women I met online and the other at a bar. I know usually online girls are more flakely but man what the fuck. It's usually I get their number, set up a date and they just straight up flake without even canceling the date. Usually I call/text them the day of the day and I just get no response. Some of these women will call/text me like 2-3 days later with some random excuses as to why they didn't contact me. It's like for some reason the women I meet have absolutely no respect for me or my time and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I know 5 women over the past few months is a really low number but im working on my game (thats why I'm here). I wish I could just ignore it and go pick up some more girls but I don't have the game to go out and pick up new girls every weekend so these few opportunities I have are important. Meeting people over a computer is not really a good idea. I know you are a beginner and that you are learning the game, but GET OUT THERE AND LEARN IT FIRST HAND!!! You will have to do it eventually, might as well start now. Stop with the excuses, its easy to be the man on-line, but at the end of the day when you turn off the computer the screen goes blank (and you spent the day entire by yourself, gaming screen-names). Go out and do things. Hell go to the library, a movie store, whatever and just talk to the women there. They will flake a lot less than someone on-line. The only thing i can reccomend is to NOT make the plans way to far in advance. Plan for tomorrow or even that day. Do not ask them on a date, tell them what you are going to do. For example "I haven't been bowling since I was a kid. I might go tomorrow at (fill in the name here) you should meet me there." If she asks "what time?" Its on. YES, I understand that, that is sort of AFC, but if you have to game people on-line that is probably the way to gain the most trust from her. She can show up and look at you and if she likes what she sees she can approach you.

Author:	michaellangelo [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:04 am ]
Post subject:
dont have any time for flakers, let them know they flaked and then punish them for it.... let them know that you dont stand for that sort of thing and wont tolerate it...., delete their number and dont turn back,if they contact you, let them know that if they want to meet up then they have to give YOU notice in advance and THEY should make the plans... its good for you to move on and not look back... i reckon it builds character..... thats what i would do, hope it helps......

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Author:	Clancey [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:
There could be an endless list of reasons for somebody flaking. The problem is not so much how to deal with a flake but how to stop it in the first place. The problem with flaking is that it's very difficult to find out the root of the problem. In my own experiences, I would always forget to qualify. I'd give girls no reason for me being interested in them other than looks and I think a lot of girls flaked because I left them with no thought that they were any different to the next girl I approached in my mind. I've been getting much better with hoops, compliance testing etc. and getting girls invested in the interaction. I ask more qualifying questions now too and it's had a positive impact on the flakes.

Author:	tweeby [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't give up! But you need to look at your game because somewhere you're probably giving them reason to flake. Is it possible to post your facebook msgs to look over?

Author:	Sac916 [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:
I had yet another girl flake on a lunch date with me today...

Author:	tweeby [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:26 pm ]
Post subject:
> I had yet another girl flake on a lunch date with me today... OK, you're lookin at it from the negative side. You managed to get her to agree to a date so you're doing something right. But along the way you MUST be giving them a reason to flake. The only way for you to get around this is for you to be ultra-critical. Tell us exactly what you said/texted/did.

Author:	Sac916 [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:
This wasn't planned far ahead or anything, I planned it at like midnight last night over AIM. I got her number, txt'ed with her a few times last night, planned to meet today around 12 for lunch. I told her I'd call her about 12 and we'll decide where we are going to meet. She seemed enthusiastic about it. Sorry I can't copy and paste the exact conversation because it was over AIM and I didn't log it. Anyway today I call her at 12, she didn't pick up, left a voice mail and txt'ed her. It's now almost 1 and I haven't heard from her. I swear it's almost as if women have zero respect for me or my time. I'm seriously close to just saying fuck it with women and not bothering anymore. No I'm not going to go gay, I just won't pursue women anymore. Whats the point in picking up women if they are all flakes? Not fun.

Author:	Smarts [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: This wasn't planned far ahead or anything, I planned it at like midnight last night over AIM. I got her number, txt'ed with her a few times last night, planned to meet today around 12 for lunch. I told her I'd call her about 12 and we'll decide where we are going to meet. She seemed enthusiastic about it. Sorry I can't copy and paste the exact conversation because it was over AIM and I didn't log it. Anyway today I call her at 12, she didn't pick up, left a voice mail and txt'ed her. It's now almost 1 and I haven't heard from her. I swear it's almost as if women have zero respect for me or my time. I'm seriously close to just saying fuck it with women and not bothering anymore. No I'm not going to go gay, I just won't pursue women anymore. Whats the point in picking up women if they are all flakes? Not fun. Dude, I gave you my advice above and it seems as if you flaked on my advice. Im tired of potential PUA totally disrespecting me and my time. I am close to saying fuck it and not bothering to help newbies anymore...LOL But in all seriousness you should re-read my post and take it to heart. As long as you game women on AIM they will flake on you. However, if you are so set in your ways about sarging online do it, but when you set up a date and someone else flakes on you (which will happen) don't let that discourage you. Take that time block you set a side for your date and use it to game women in real life. Go to a sandwhich shop and get a sandwhich, talk to women in the line, etc. And if you see a women by herself tell her that "she looks lonely, so your going to do your good deed of the day" and sit with her while she is eating. Yes, that is bold, but i guarantee if you set up a date with a girl after approaching them like that they will not flake on you. -Smarts

Author:	theedge! [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:17 am ]
Post subject:
I used to get quite a lot of girls online, but it gets abit easy and boring after awhile, as you are running most of in front of a computer screen. Id suggest, forgetting online game all together. If you can't do that, id suggest getting a good picture of yourself, be cocky/funny and don't seem to eager to talk to them and meet them. I had many flake on me untill I stopped asking them to meet up amd waited for them to suggest to meet.

Author:	pwscottiv [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How do I get girls to stop flaking on me?
Quote: This is getting pretty fucking annoying. Over the past few months this is the 5th time in a row a woman as flaked on either the first or second date. 4 of the women I met online and the other at a bar. I know usually online girls are more flakely but man what the fuck. It's usually I get their number, set up a date and they just straight up flake without even canceling the date. Usually I call/text them the day of the day and I just get no response. Some of these women will call/text me like 2-3 days later with some random excuses as to why they didn't contact me. It's like for some reason the women I meet have absolutely no respect for me or my time and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I know 5 women over the past few months is a really low number but im working on my game (thats why I'm here). I wish I could just ignore it and go pick up some more girls but I don't have the game to go out and pick up new girls every weekend so these few opportunities I have are important. On a couple of occasions I think I might have played a little too hard of a game with them online and/or over the phone... I think that left them feeling like I might either flake on them or that they perceived that they wouldn't be attractive enough when I met them, because I had DHVd too much. I think what you might be missing is building comfort over the phone. It's critical... Then when I meet them in person, I start back at attraction, but move faster into comfort than I would if I hadn't spoken with them previously. Let me know what you think, but I think that might be what you're missing. Also, you ARE talking with them over the phone to setup a date with them, RIGHT? Please don't tell me you're doing this strictly over IM or email. If you are, then that's probably your biggest problem right there. If a girl isn't able to talk to you for a while before you actually meet, then her mind will go to bad places... She'll probably come to the conclusion that you're some creepy old man who's gonna try to rape her or something.

Author:	Infamous110 [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:
A whole 1 hour and she hasn't replied to a voicemail AND a text? oh my gosh. Maybe she actually is busy? I don't really do online game, and here's the reason. You're an attractive girl in a bar of 50 guys - the maximum approaches you'll get is 50 tonight. You're an attractive girl online and you can look forward to 4159872432816423 approaches tonight. That being said, I have met a couple of girls from online and it's gone very well - but i think the reason for this is that i didn't expect anything. try calling a girl out on flaking before you arrange to meet. "How reliable are you on a scale of 1-10?" or "Alright so we'll meet at X but i want to know that you'll be there because flakiness is a pet-peeve of mine" At least then, assuming this is on the phone, if they don't answer you wholeheartedly, you can tell them you don't want to know and to forget the whole thing.

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Author:	pwscottiv [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: A whole 1 hour and she hasn't replied to a voicemail AND a text? oh my gosh. Maybe she actually is busy? I don't really do online game, and here's the reason. You're an attractive girl in a bar of 50 guys - the maximum approaches you'll get is 50 tonight. You're an attractive girl online and you can look forward to 4159872432816423 approaches tonight. That being said, I have met a couple of girls from online and it's gone very well - but i think the reason for this is that i didn't expect anything. try calling a girl out on flaking before you arrange to meet. "How reliable are you on a scale of 1-10?" or "Alright so we'll meet at X but i want to know that you'll be there because flakiness is a pet-peeve of mine" At least then, assuming this is on the phone, if they don't answer you wholeheartedly, you can tell them you don't want to know and to forget the whole thing. From what I read, the girls were agreeing to meet him at a particular time/date and then not only flaking, but not calling him to say that they aren't coming... I've actually only had that happen once, and the girl ended up being clinically crazy. The online thing DOES work, but it takes patience and unless you work it correctly, it can waste you a lot of time and money. I've been inviting girls to come out skydiving with me... They don't know it, but because I'm a skydiver, I get a free jump for having someone come out and do a tandem... I actually invite girls I'm not even interested in many times... I don't ever lie to them... I just ask if they want to try skydiving. With the girls I am actually interested in, it works really awesome because it's a no-pressure non-interest-conveying environment AND they're sharing a "near death experience" with me... Both of which are great for building attraction... I've been told by many girls that they thought it was super-hot when they saw me flying through the sky in front of them. But honestly, even before I started using the whole skydiving thing, I did have decent success with the online thing.