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Need tips for starting out
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Author:  riften [ Sun Jul 06, 2008 2:35 am ]
Post subject:  Need tips for starting out

Hey all,

Pretty new to the PUA scene and just finished reading The Game last week. What is a good way to break approach anxiety and to stop caring about what other people think about you? I find I'm embarrassed not at what the girl I'm approaching thinks but more the people around her (for example, if I'm at a library and I try to open somebody). Is the best way to just go to a public place and try to open every set possible? Thx.

Author:  Zennixx [ Sun Jul 06, 2008 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 

To breach the AA, just use the three second rule and go for it. If you don't you'll regret it later.

As for caring about what other people think about you? Well the simplest way I learned was to just stop caring one day lol. Sure there are other methods that can help you not care. But the simplest and easiest way is just to stop. Might be hard to get over, but it's worth it when you do.

Author:  Nightfox [ Sun Jul 06, 2008 12:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

Think of it as you doing them a favor. They're going to have great time, just because of you. And either way, every approach you do is just you having fun and building a new and cool skillset.

"This is all your reality and your life, they are just lucky to be guests in it" I think it was David D. who said that..

Author:  riften [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:48 am ]
Post subject: 

Your responses helped. I figured out that the library wasn't the best place for me to start out with, since there's a lot of people studying and reading and it feels intrusive to start a conversation. However I took to the streets today and I also hit up the mall for a while, opened about 8 sets in total (I pretty much only opened, because I want to get good and feel confident about it before going forwards). At first I only approached 1-sets (first 4) but finally I overcame the anxiety of approaching groups and approached two 2 sets, a 3 set and a mixed set. Here's my breakdown of what I did right and wrong (+ and - accordingly):

+ Used 3 second rule on a set (would've done more but it's hard to get in front of someone really quickly after seeing them on the street)
+ Showing positive body language (hands out of pocket and smile)
+ Finally willing to approach groups..

- First few sets I talked too quickly at first before I was comfortable with them
- In my last set with 3 chicks I swear I could hear one of the girls sigh when I started "Hey, can I get your opinion on something?". That definitely didn't help me feel confident, but I still went through with the opener and at the end just left.
- I want to be more interactive during the opener instead of just following the script.

Any opinions would be awesome. Thanks again.

Author:  ashysda1 [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 

dude i use to be a FKN psy when it came to walking up to girls...but one thing mystery taught me, the longer you wait... the more uncomfortable tension there is between you.. 3 second rule and your gold.. if she likes you or not... you still made your move

Author:  Nightfox [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Your responses helped. I figured out that the library wasn't the best place for me to start out with, since there's a lot of people studying and reading and it feels intrusive to start a conversation. However I took to the streets today and I also hit up the mall for a while, opened about 8 sets in total (I pretty much only opened, because I want to get good and feel confident about it before going forwards). At first I only approached 1-sets (first 4) but finally I overcame the anxiety of approaching groups and approached two 2 sets, a 3 set and a mixed set. Here's my breakdown of what I did right and wrong (+ and - accordingly):

+ Used 3 second rule on a set (would've done more but it's hard to get in front of someone really quickly after seeing them on the street)
+ Showing positive body language (hands out of pocket and smile)
+ Finally willing to approach groups..

- First few sets I talked too quickly at first before I was comfortable with them
- In my last set with 3 chicks I swear I could hear one of the girls sigh when I started "Hey, can I get your opinion on something?". That definitely didn't help me feel confident, but I still went through with the opener and at the end just left.
- I want to be more interactive during the opener instead of just following the script.

Any opinions would be awesome. Thanks again.
Great work!

When someone sighs, she's probably thinking either "Oh, please. Is he coming on to us?" or "When is he going to leave?". Show some active disinterest, open over your shoulder and throw a false time constraint.

Also, you don't need to use a canned opener if you don't feel comfortable with it. Your opener can be as simple as "Do you know where <insert stuff> is?", and make something out of it. Like any opinions related to the place, and so on.

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