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I'm just not an alpha male
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Author:  Osprey [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  I'm just not an alpha male
I wanted to post this in the social shyness forum but couldn't.

The problem that I face is that I am simply not an alpha male.

Never in my life have I been into the male group bonding thing, this includes team sports and other male orientated activity's. Naturally at school (all boys) this led to people thinking that I was gay and in later life has led to people treating me as the nice guy. The problem stems from me not feeling able to communicate on their level, which, in a non derogative way is lower than mine. Unfortunately I am a technically minded person, and I have to understand the theory of thing before I can commune about it successfully.

I am comfortable talking to people and all, but I just struggle with being the Alpha male bit.

I work P/T in a gym and see all the alpha's strutting around, getting all the attention and I am there on my own getting non of it making the girls laugh and nothing more.

How do I become Alpha.

Someone please help me on this as I am about to move into my career and I don't want to be s**t on from day one.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude
pickup is all about becoming alpha

You cant walk into a martial arts studio and ask the people there, "How do I become a fighter?" There's a lot to it.

There's and endless supply of resources in the community on becoming alpha. Seek and you will find.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dude
pickup is all about becoming alpha
I respectfully disagree. I've seen guys that aren't what you'd call alpha and they have great success at pickup. My uncle for instance was definitely a natural PUA and he was 10 years my senior, but when we went places, I'd end up leading, because I'm more of an alpha, PUA or no.

You can become a PUA without being an alpha, but you're going to have to figure a lot of things out for yourself, based upon the principles that you can learn from others. Most methods are geared towards alpha males, or guys that want to be alpha males, but it ISN'T a requisite for pickup period.

If you want to become an alpha, then do what Chief said and start reading, look through stuff and get to work on it. If you want to become a PUA without changing your archetype, then you'll have to put that mind to use.
Author:  angryrocker4 [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Where's your confidence level at man, high/low? Dont compare yourself to the "alpha" guys at the gym, you've got things that they dont and vice versa, but focus on and build up what you got. That laughter you said you give the girls is a solid and powerful thing to develop, and something Im really trying to build up myself. Use that to steal the attention for yourself.

Have confidence, and just take charge.
Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

I respectfully disagree. I've seen guys that aren't what you'd call alpha and they have great success at pickup. My uncle for instance was definitely a natural PUA and he was 10 years my senior, but when we went places, I'd end up leading, because I'm more of an alpha, PUA or no.

You can become a PUA without being an alpha, but you're going to have to figure a lot of things out for yourself, based upon the principles that you can learn from others. Most methods are geared towards alpha males, or guys that want to be alpha males, but it ISN'T a requisite for pickup period.

If you want to become an alpha, then do what Chief said and start reading, look through stuff and get to work on it. If you want to become a PUA without changing your archetype, then you'll have to put that mind to use.
Thank you for that post.

Those are good points. I was always having a hard time believing this "YOU HAVE TO BE AN ALPHA MALE TO GET LAID" business. If that's the case, then why do women worship guys like Johnny Depp, Edward Norton, Kurt Cobain and all those other skinny, sensitive artistic fellows? Look at Jimi Hendrix for example...he was all those things, in addition to being very shy, and not an "alpha male" by any stretch of the imagination. Yet women of the time considered him to be the sexiest man alive.

In fact, as a naturally sensitive musician and poet myself, I noticed that I started doing better with girls again after I gave up on trying to be the "alpha male" and went back to being myself, which was someone who could use words and sounds to sway peoples feelings and take them on an emotional journey. Mind you, I still stand up for myself and for what I believe in, and I still carry myself with good posture most of the time and I still give off that vibe of being a guy who isn't afraid to be himself, but I don't consider that to be "alpha male." It's definitely possible to be attractive without trying to be an aggressive gorilla-man.
Author:  Chief [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I respectfully disagree. I've seen guys that aren't what you'd call alpha and they have great success at pickup. My uncle for instance was definitely a natural PUA and he was 10 years my senior, but when we went places, I'd end up leading, because I'm more of an alpha, PUA or no.

You can become a PUA without being an alpha, but you're going to have to figure a lot of things out for yourself, based upon the principles that you can learn from others. Most methods are geared towards alpha males, or guys that want to be alpha males, but it ISN'T a requisite for pickup period.
Well if a PUA isn't alpha, how's he going to hold a leading frame to handle logistics?

If you found a way to do pickup without strong-ass leading frame, please share.
Author:  Smarts [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I respectfully disagree. I've seen guys that aren't what you'd call alpha and they have great success at pickup. My uncle for instance was definitely a natural PUA and he was 10 years my senior, but when we went places, I'd end up leading, because I'm more of an alpha, PUA or no.

You can become a PUA without being an alpha, but you're going to have to figure a lot of things out for yourself, based upon the principles that you can learn from others. Most methods are geared towards alpha males, or guys that want to be alpha males, but it ISN'T a requisite for pickup period.
Well if a PUA isn't alpha, how's he going to hold a leading frame to handle logistics?

If you found a way to do pickup without strong-ass leading frame, please share.
Moderater on Moderater.... ooo this could get interesting.

I think I agree with Rye Lee on this topic though. No hard feelings Chief
Author:  wtfpwnage [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:08 am ]
Post subject: 
DUKE IT OUT!
Author:  Chief [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
DUKE IT OUT!
lolz shut up guys this ain't no pokemon battle

It's a legitimate discussion where I'm asking Rye Lee to explain his perspective further. I just don't see how some things can be accomplished within a pickup if you lack alpha characteristics, such as working out logistics and escalating in certain phases.

In all the game that I've played, my leading frame seemed to be the number one factor for each of my individual successes. I led the girl here and there, I led her emotions to wonderful places, I led the conversation and the general outline of the entire sarge. I don't think I could have done all that if I wasn't in-tune with my alpha side. Women want a leader to sweep them off their feet to show them paradise.

Go, Pikachu!
Image
Author:  Roads [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Image
Lolz!!!

Holy shit that's scary! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Women want a leader to sweep them off their feet to show them paradise.
Dude, I'm sure everything else you're saying is true, but that is just the CHEESIEST fuckin' line. It makes me think of a Disney movie. Is that what we're supposed to be? Are PUAs from a Disney movie? Fuck, I guess I need to start all over again with my mindset.

(By the way Rye Lee, I appreciate the Serenity reference in your sig.)
Author:  Osprey [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Wow, that discussion moved faster that I thought it would.

Thanks for all the comments!!

Its interesting how two respected members of this forum have two conflicting advice sets, both of which I think are valid on face value.

As I said, I am not alpha by proxy in terms of my personality etc.. I can hold court with people but sometimes I get intimidated a little by some situations etc..

I think the idea of me becoming overly Alpha is one that I will struggle with, but I can beginning to develop minor traits in terms of developing my physique and becoming more tactile and assertive and perhaps developing my voice a little more (I have tendency to talk fast and go a little high some times).

If I bolt these alpha traits onto my current person, perhaps I will get some results from it.

What do we reckon?

Thanks again guys.
Author:  Theasianbigpoppa [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
i've been listening to a little of Carlos Xuma's how to become an alpha male, and it sounds like you have this misconception that alpha males have to be these big buff jock meatheads. Being an alpha male is having a strong frame, being ambitious and getting what you want, being confident, and not taking shit from anyone. You don't have to be physically imposing to be dominant.
Author:  Osprey [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i've been listening to a little of Carlos Xuma's how to become an alpha male, and it sounds like you have this misconception that alpha males have to be these big buff jock meatheads. Being an alpha male is having a strong frame, being ambitious and getting what you want, being confident, and not taking shit from anyone. You don't have to be physically imposing to be dominant.
Now thats a good point, and you are right in some ways.

Corlos Xuma - never heard of him. Whats the score??
Author:  sunny-night [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Want to become a true alpha?

One word: Lifestyle.

Make yourself happy before you try to please women. Make it so you don't even need them in your life to make yourself happy.

No PUG out there will tell you that, coz they want you to take their workshop so they can scam money out of you
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