Thanks Chief I appreciate that. Bring on the weekend
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| Opinions Please on DHV story https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=24256 |
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| Author: | Raptor-K2 [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Opinions Please on DHV story |
The Last Week Story. This is a DHV story i've thought of based on an event that happened to me. Just played up abit. I intend to use it in group (3 or 4 set). It is yet to be field tested could you please give me your feedback. I will field test it this week end. "Hey guys, a quick question for you, what do you think of this pub/club?" "The reason i ask is because last week when i was in here i had a some uhh..... Trouble (Trouble said in an interesting manner)" Expecting a reply along the lines of "Really. What kind of trouble?" "Well i was at the bar having a drink when 2 guys either side of me start arguing. The bouncers came over and asked all of us to leave. We get outside and the 2 guys start arguing with the bouncers and try blameing me. My ex girl friend came over to me to ask if i was alright. Finally the 2 guys stop arguing and go to leave. My ex girlfriend is a model and she alway stood out in a crowd, so these 2 guys spot her and start hitting on her. They start to really ennoy her and shout some really nasty stuff to her. This just kicks in my protective mode so i step in and start talking to the guys and tell them they should leave but they won't have any of it. Then suddenly one of them grabs my ex, and that was it. No one messes with my girlfriend, even if she is my ex. But once you've made a connection with someone i don't think that protective feeling ever goes away, don't you agree! So that was it for me I just hit him clean to the floor. The bouncers came over and i'm sure they must of been watching the whole thing because they just grabbed the 2 guys and escorted them down the street. Then they came back and let me back in. I'm sure it was because they repected me for what i did and understood where i was coming from" This is just the basic structure of the story. This isn't how i'd actually say it cos i speak differnt to how i write. I'd also try to use my body as well to make the story more entertaining and realistic. Like point to where i was standing and play out some of the story (like where i talk about stepping in to talk to the guys, maybe display with my body how i step inbetween my ex and the guys to shield and protect her. Was thinking of using target as a prop and guide her behind me like i was shielding her but keep my back to her and continue talking to the group in front of me so it looks like i'm pushing her out of the set and ignoring her. What do you think? Thanks |
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| Author: | Chief [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds great, especially for something to just start field-testing. Use it in-field and you'll get subtle feedback from girls that you can use to calibrate it. |
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| Author: | Raptor-K2 [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks Chief I appreciate that. Bring on the weekend
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| Author: | Chief [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Don't forget to test it out both before and after the hook point |
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| Author: | Dizzler [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
If someone came up to me and told me that story, id think he was a douche bag and insecure. that entire story seemed to serve to talk about how you knocked someone to the ground when they went for your damsel in distress (such a hero) and to talk about how you used to date a model. and then how the big bouncers respected you for your valor and bravery no offense but that story reeks of bullshit and insecurity seriously if someone told me that story out of the blue i would be dumbfounded at the amount of bullshit it contained i would try something that reveals your good qualities in a alot less subtle way so you dont come off in a bad way |
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| Author: | sunny-night [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
that's good
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| Author: | Raptor-K2 [ Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ok cheers flottmana. however i got some good responses from it this weekend but to be fare they were after hook point with IOI already given. And like i said i speek differently to how i write things so i think that might be why i pulled it off. However i do see a new point of view from your comment so thanks. |
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| Author: | Dizzler [ Sun Jul 06, 2008 6:03 pm ] |
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yeah man i wasnt trying to be a dick or anything, if it worked then more power to you bra, good gaming |
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| Author: | Exile [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good but would tinker with it a little. Like flottmana says saying the ex is a model comes across as to obvious and insecure and the girls will think your just bullshitting maybe change her to a Bar maid thats why the guys recognised her and tried to hit on her? Makes it more believable and still DHV's coz barmaids are harder for AFC's to pick up. What you also got to consider is the mood of the group coming in with such a deep question as an oppener when the women are in a sociable energetic mood could be seen as putting a downer on there nights. Maybe opening the group with a more light hearted cocky funny approach (coming across as Mr Sociable)at the start would be better then after you built a little Rapport change frame and lead the group into your DHV story. I find it kind of works to have 3 stages of your frame 1. Mr Sociable (the opener) 2. Thoughtful you (DHV story). 3 The Seducer (number close Kiss close). |
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| Author: | Raptor-K2 [ Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yea thanks Exile i like the bar maid approch. And totally agree on the opener part i seem to use it after i've built some comfort in the group. Don't know why i posted it with an open just seemed easier to type i suppose lol Cheers mate. I appreciate all the advice from everyone. Thanks guys. Good luck and game on. |
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